Friday, March 20, 2015

Quinn's 18-Month Check-Up

This past Wednesday, Quinn had his 18-month well check with Dr. B. It went VERY well. I'm pleased to say we have a very healthy, well-developing, growing boy! Before I elaborate on what we discussed at this check, I have to say that one of my new favorite 2nd year memories of Quinn was when we walked in to the doctor's office. We had to wait before signing in, and Quinn waited so patiently, so sweetly by my side, hugging my leg. In that moment of him laying his head against me and wrapping his little arm around my leg, I felt like he was so grown up already. He was acting somewhat shy but not afraid, and he was seemingly so attached to me and glad to have me with him. We waited for Daddy for a few minutes, and then my boy was so happy to have both of his parents with him all do himself!

A short wait in the waiting room, and then we were headed back to get his measurements:

Weight: 25 pounds, 9 ounces = 45th percentile (Banner weighed 25 lbs, 10.5 oz at this age.)
Height: 32.25 inches = 50th percentile (Banner was 32.50 in. at this age.)
Head: 48.1 centimeters = 55th percentile (B's head was 48.6 cm.)

Then, we waited for a little longer than I'd like for Dr. B. Quinn was hilarious during that wait - at least for most of it; he got a little cranky/hungry/antsy/annoyed right before Dr. B walked into the room. He was walking around in his diaper yelling out colors (mostly "yeyyoww!") pretty loudly when Sam would point to a picture on the wall and ask what color it is. Mostly, Quinn had no idea, but he would repeat Sam at the top of his lungs. He knew he was being silly - and he knew he was starting to irritate me when he refused to speak more quietly! And then, once Dr. B was there, Quinn was once again ready to attend, cooperative, and responsive to his doctor.

Based on our responses to the questionnaire, Dr. B told us that Quinn is developmentally somewhere between a 16-month-old and a 21-month-old. So, kind of exactly where he should be! There were a few questions on the list that we waived on and said "no" when we really could have said "yes" - like drinking from a lidless cup without spilling ... he's actually pretty good at this, but not always, so we circled "no." (I've said before, I'm pretty hard on my kids. They have to truly master it before I say they "own" it.) We also said "no" to kicking a small ball (like a tennis ball size) because we've only used larger balls (rubber basket balls or soccer balls...) so I'm not sure he can kick a smaller size or not. When Dr. B asked how many words Quinn had, I told him a lot, "I stopped counting." He said, "When did you stop counting?" I said, "After 35," which made me kind of annoyed at myself because I kept Banner's log much longer (long past 150). But, with two kids and new words popping up everyday, it gets hard to keep recording! Of course, Dr. B was pleased with having well over 35 at this age! (He was looking for 10-15 words.) Quinn even showed off a few words - once picking up his "nack" and saying "apple!"

Medically-speaking, Quinn is also pretty healthy. The only big hiccup was that Quinn has yet another ear infection in his right ear. He's on day 3 of an antibiotic now, and hopefully that will help him clear the infection. We also discussed trying to get Quinn off of his reflux medication and figuring out what is causing the allergic shiners he has nearly all the time. When we have our ear infection recheck in a few weeks, we will look into this a little more. My only other concern was Quinn's constant desire to eat. He is often asking for "nacks" and pulling me toward the kitchen for food. Yet, he rarely eats what "nack" I offer him and he doesn't finish meals well. Dr. B jokingly said, "And, how old is Quinn??" trying to assure me that this is all normal for his age. He said to just feed him when he's asking, assuming what I'm offering is a healthy choice. "He's not a fat kid. He's not overweight. You're not overfeeding him," he commented. So, I'll try not to get so annoyed when he wants more to eat - yet never really eats it! Oh, and also, we get to add in peanuts to Quinn's diet... which we will start in a couple weeks after he finishes his antibiotic.

Quinn was due for only one shot this visit: Hep A. We opted to do that at a different location to save money since we have forgone health insurance. So, Quinn will be getting that fun vaccine tomorrow! :) Overall, I'm very pleased with this visit. Quinn was a trooper, even though he cried when Dr. B kept looking in his right ear - not pleased with how it looked. (Poor baby hadn't been sleeping well for about 5 nights, and we definitely suspected that something was brewing in there. I'm glad Dr. B caught it and we are treating it. I'm sorry Quinn had to wait to get it checked out, though. Hopefully, this is the last ear infection for a while - or we need to seriously consider tubes.) Quinn was friendly, brave, responsive, and engaging. And, thankfully, very healhty!

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Affordable Healthcare...We Can't Afford

I'm going to start right off the bat by saying I'm not 100% educated about the current health care system we have in this country. I know there are a zillion pieces to this puzzle, that I still have a lot to learn, and that there are a variety of sides to the story. I'm also going to say that I speak for a good many educated Americans when I say that however the system works, it's not working well. I'm enraged and outraged by this current system, and I know I'm not alone. While the new "affordable healthcare" incentives may be helping some people - maybe even a lot of people- it certainly has caused more damage for my family and many others I know. I also want to say this: I'm not belly-aching as if our situation is unique or insinuating that "our life is worse than yours." I'm not into playing that game. I'm merely being honest about OUR situation, and I'm inviting a conversation. We are one little family in this big picture, but this is our perspective of how we are struggling with "affordable care."

Let's take a step back first to examine the whole story. I have always had medical and dental coverage, and shortly after Sam's accident, he finally agreed that he should be covered! Health, wellness, and preventative care are all extremely important to us. We want our children to have access to health care, and we want to know that we can go to doctors we trust and have established trusting relationships with whenever we feel ill or need medical attention. So, we have always made paying for health insurance a priority.

But, when I resigned as a school counselor to stay at home with my year-old son, I gave up having benefits. At that same time, Sam started his own law practice. He elected to continue coverage through his former employer utilizing the very expensive COBRA plan. We were paying over $1,000/month for our family of 3 to have medical insurance which did not include a dental plan. For nearly 18 months, Sam's business grew slowly but steadily, and over $1,000 of each month's income went straight to his former law firm to cover our medical insurance. During that time, I gave birth to Quinn (in September), and of course, we hadn't paid a penny towards our deductible which had reset in June. With a crappy plan through COBRA, we still owed over $7,000 to the hospital for Quinn's delivery and nursery care. Needless to say, we are still paying that bill off.

Then, in January 2014, the COBRA plan was no longer an option, and we did research to find the best plan for our two young boys and for ourselves. We signed up for Cigna, and only 2 weeks into the new year, we had our first well visit on our new plan. Quinn's 4-month check-up went great, but 1 week later, we were back in the pediatrician's office with a sick baby. When I went to the window to check-in, the receptionist told me that the office no longer accepted this particular plan of Cigna's. "Are you kidding me? We were just here last week," I reported, to which the receptionist said, "I know, we just found out that we won't be on their plan starting January 2014; we just got notification late." I went on to say that we had selected this plan because all of our doctors were on this plan. We had specifically checked in December! The woman understood but couldn't do anything to help me. She asked if I wanted to cancel my appointment. Well, with a very sick infant, there was no way I was giving up my appointment. Turns out, Quinn had RSV, and we needed to be seen that day. Then, we ended up with a hefty bill from the doctor's office. I went home to check on our other doctors, including my OB/GYN who I had just seen a week before, assuming my well visit had been covered. However, NONE of our doctor's were on our Cigna plan. With "Obamacare," insurances were rapidly changing, and doctor's offices were rapidly changing.

By February 1st, we were uninsured. It was cheaper that way, anyway! Luckily, our doctors worked with us for the uncovered January visits. But, we needed to figure out something before the March "Obamacare" deadline to have health insurance. March 1st was the first day of our new coverage; this time, Bluecross. We went with two separate plans - the boys had a Silver plan, and Sam and I were on a Bronze plan. Our grand total per month was $780.33. That's a total in 2014 of $7,803.30 (10 months). But, that's not all. For every sick visit, we pay co-pays. For Sam and I, our plan only allows an adjusted rate, no actual payments by the insurance company. So, my annual mammogram and sonogram that could have cost me over $950, I get to pay $424 instead. And, yes, that's nice. But, I'm already paying a ridiculous monthly premium. Quinn had a doctor visit to the ENT back in July, and the (literally) 10-second procedure cost us $285 for the hospital fee (which we were not told about ahead of time), and another $285ish to the doctor for professional fees. And, just recently, Quinn was prescribed a nasal spray, and when I got to the pharmacy to pick it up, the pharmacist chuckled with understanding when I said, "What?! You're kidding, right?" to him telling me that his little nasal spray which would last a month costs $100. And, I'll save you the financial details of Banner's X-rays and specialist visits when he broke his ankle. These are just examples of other expenses we incur on top of the premiums.

These bills infuriate me. And, what infuriates me even more: our premiums went up for 2015 for the exact same plans. I'm so disheartened by this system - a system that may prevent me from staying a "stay-at-home mom." I will have to go back to work next school year just to pay for health care. Maybe we can afford dental coverage then, too. Or not. Who knows? But, what I do know is that I'm an angry mother. I'm pissed that I have to think twice before taking my child to the doctor. I'm pissed that I am forced to pay for a product (insurance) that I don't like. I'm pissed that the insurance companies boost prices, that doctor's offices aren't getting what they deserve, that the government hasn't figured out a better plan, that I can't count on having continued care with really great doctors with whom I've developed respectful relationships and who my children have come to love and trust. I don't want to go to just any doctor simply because he/she is the only one who takes the meager insurance I can afford. I don't want to worry that the medicine my doctor prescribes is going to be too expensive for us to afford because my insurance (which I am forced to have) won't pay for it. 

Health care is the only industry that Sam and I can think of where you can't just purchase the service or the product you want. There are too many people involved. For one visit, you see the doctor, and there may be a diagnostic company involved, a third-party billing company, the insurance company, even additional physicians like a radiologist you may never even meet. Say you have a question about your bill, and there is such a run-around just to get a clear response. The billing company can't answer it, you've got to call the doctor to call the insurance company. Maybe the diagnostic company isn't covered by your insurance company - which you had no idea about. Maybe you even went in to a surgery at a hospital that takes your insurance, but the anesthesiologist is not in-network, but you were assigned the anesthesiologist. Now, you're screwed with an outrageous bill for something you weren't in control of. The whole situation is disgustingly obnoxious.

Don't get me wrong. There are definitely aspects of new health care laws that I support. Mostly, I'm ecstatic that it's finally unlawful for insurance companies to turn away people because of "pre-existing conditions." It's discriminatory, and it's a good thing it's not allowed anymore. I'm glad someone woke up and realized how wrong that is - that just because a woman once (or twice... hi, mom!) had cancer she was "uninsurable." Frankly, though, the government has it wrong. The problem is not that people can't afford health insurance. The problem is that there are insurance companies at all. Perhaps if there weren't insurance companies, doctors wouldn't have to jack up prices for procedures. Personally, I believe health care should be free - like education. We say we value education, so we pay for it for all. Why not health care that we claim to also value so highly? And, just like you can pay for private schooling, you could pay for private doctors if you don't like who the government chose to treat you.

Imaging being told by our government that you have to buy cable TV. Imagine it costs so much each month that you can't even afford to turn the TV on. What irony, right? That's how I feel about this health care system. I'm complying by insuring my family, but every time I decide to actually go to the doctor, I wrack up another co-pay or another hefty bill on top of what I'm already paying. And, many months, thank God, I'm paying for absolutely nothing. And, honestly, I pray that these bills stay minor - and that we don't have any major or catastrophic issues that we have to deal with. But, when something does pop up - a sleepless night with Quinn crying for hours and I know it's just GOT to be another ear infection, or a cough that plagues Banner for months, or even my mammograms at a young age because my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was younger than I am now - I have to decide if I can even afford to use the health insurance I'm spending thousands of dollars on already only to spend more on tests, co-pays, facility fees, diagnostic tests, etc. We spend so much of our monthly income on health insurance that I can't actually afford to go to the doctor! I'm not necessarily upset by the hefty monthly premium; I'm upset about the additional fees each time I have to go to the doctor. It makes me wonder what the hell I'm paying for!

See, really, "affordable care" is a misnomer. The act has little, if anything, to do with the cost of health care itself - or even health insurance, for that matter. In order to get the law passed, almost all of the price-control language was taken out of the bill - controls that would have directly challenged hospitals' and some other providers' charges. The "Affordable Care Act" assumes that by requiring Americans to pay potentially thousands of dollars more a year for health insurance, they will necessarily be able to afford health care. To the contrary, our family spends so much on health insurance that Sam and I  have to seriously consider whether or not to go to the doctor when we have a need, as we've spent the money on premiums (we make it work when the boys need to go). And this makes sense if you think about it: insurers charge higher premiums (ours went up 12.5% for the boys and 25% for Sam and me), and pay less. The care providers have no choice but to up their rates to stay in business when the health insurers pay them less per code billed. Either that or the providers don't take insurance, in which case your policy premium is a complete waste in the truest sense. Affordable care? Where?

Sam's business is flourishing, and he's doing really well. But, some months are rough and clients don't always pay. I'm proud of him for everything he's done these past 2.5 years! I'm pretty sure President Obama's campaign included supporting small business owners, but I think he failed to understand the complexity of it all, especially just how expensive it is for people like Sam to be on their own for providing health insurance for their families (and/or employees). It's really enough already. This system might help some people, it may have lowered some people's monthly premiums. But, for us, we are struggling. Sam and I are both very bright individuals. We're highly educated, we give to our communities, we are sending our kids to preschool, we have opted to forgo a double income so that I can be there with our kids, but health care -and yes, student loans- are strangling our plan. We cannot think of a way out of it, and we grapple with just taking a penalty on our taxes to pay for NOT being insured. Yet, this goes against everything I was raised to believe. Health care is a must. It's just - we can't afford it.
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Update: This post was originally written over a month ago. In January 2015, we paid our December health coverage. We usually were about a month behind in making payments. With slow business and slow-to-pay clients at the end of 2014 and into the new year, we waited to pay January and February until early March. Unfortunately, we were not aware that we had to be completely paid in full by January 1st to continue our coverage. So, when I went to pick up Quinn's prescription one day in early March, the pharmacist was the one to inform me that our health insurance had been terminated. When we called to inquire, the representative explained that not only were we not covered but that we had missed the "grace period" to reinstate our plans. No phone call or email or message of any kind was relayed to us about this problem. I'm not blaming the company, although I feel that this was a poor customer service move on their part. Sam and I take full responsibility for lack of payment in a timely fashion. That is absolutely NOT how I like to handle my obligations and responsibilities. However, we are doing the damn best we can - like all Americans. It is what it is, right? I mean, if the money isn't there, the money isn't there. So, who knows what will happen to all those doctor appointments and prescriptions we picked up between January 1st and March 1st. . . of which there were quite a few. I'm sure we will see a hefty bill for all of that, when we thought we were "covered."

Since we didn't know we weren't covered, we missed the open enrollment period. The only way to get health insurance now for the remainder of this 2015 year is to get a "temporary" plan. These plans are more expensive - or they don't cover preventative care - or they just plain suck. Quinn has a doctor's appointment tomorrow, and we will have to figure out where he can/will get his vaccinations that would otherwise cost us about $250-300 per shot. (Ha.... we found a "perk" to health insurance when it actually helps us!) In the meantime, we've "saved" over $2400 by not paying for insurance this year so far. I know we'll be penalized when tax time comes around, but I'm still questioning what to do about being insured or not. I certainly hope we don't regret not having any, but we're kind of screwed right now. Just praying that this healthy family stays that way until I can get a job with benefits! :)

Monday, March 9, 2015

Half-way to TWO!! Newsletter: Quinn

Dear Toddler. . . I mean, Quinn,
No way. No way are we half-way through your second year!! It's truly amazing how fast time is flying, how fast you are growing, how much I love you! What a fast month this was, too. My most favorite memories of this month actually happened the day you turned 17-months. You started giving hugs that day - great hugs. In fact, Banner couldn't get enough of your hugs that night, and he wanted to wake you up to give you more hugs! More than that, after you hug someone, you say, "Nice." It's the absolute best! You really are so affectionate and loving, so cuddly and nurturing.

But, I started this letter to my "toddler," because you so are that whole definition right now. You're a mess - testing your boundaries and our limits, getting into everything you can (trash cans, cabinets, drawers, bags, the shower, the toilet if we'd let you!), and destroying pretty much everything we have. You do it innocently, and there is absolutely no malicious intent, but you are very much an explorer trying to get your hands on everything. I can't leave anything out for fear that you'll drink it, eat it, pour it out, tear it up, drool on it, get crumbs on it, spill it, empty it, or get hurt on it. You also love to make a mess at meal time - destroying your tray of food at the end of a lunch or dinner (swiping it to the floor or pinching it all up to feel how it crushes in between your fingers). And, you thoroughly enjoy screaming at the top of your lungs - and usually just to piss Banner off. When you see it's upsetting him or getting on my nerves, you like to continue to do it with raised eyebrows, a full open mouth, and a look of suspense in your eyes. Then, you laugh and smile at your success at annoying us.

You are slowly de-childproofing our home - learning how to open our "childproofed" cabinets and drawers or climb onto everything. You push your small chairs or little stools around the den or the kitchen to climb up on couches or see up on the counters. You stand on the coffee table or get up on the fireplace (you've been doing these specific moves much longer than just this past month, but it just occurred to me to write about it). You take DVDs out of their cases, you want Mommy's make-up or Daddy's toothpaste, you want to play with the toilet paper or the plunger while we wait for Banner to finish going potty, you know where Mommy keeps the nail scissors and walk around with them even if I have moved them a million times (you somehow always find them!). Nothing is safe from you, and you are often not safe if it weren't for diligently watching you all the time!

At the same time, you are a cleaner-upper! You like things to be put away or out of sight. You are somewhat of a "hoarder," always putting things in secret cabinets. At Grandma's house, you might hide something in her cup cabinet, or you keep a stash of sippy cups in the dining room drawers (luckily, it's just water cups and not rotting milk!), or you put what's left of your mid-day snack in the play kitchen in the playroom. I've found puzzle pieces in the toy garage or Legos inside ride-on toys. You've even poured Frosted Flakes inside the cab of Banner's toy bulldozer. You are the very essense of all things "toddler," and it cracks me up. It brings back memories of when Banner would do so many of these things, and you should thank him, really... because I'd probably want to strangle you if it weren't for knowing that this phase passes, and it passes quite soon! So, I'm laughing and shrugging off some of your antics as you discover your world and satisfy your curiosity.
Eating yogurt all on your own... you ended up drinking it halfway through

So, what else have you been up to this month?

-This month, we had Valentine's Day, went to the zoo, went to the Heard Museum to see the dinosaur exhibit (where you roared at all the dinosaurs), had a play date with Ella at Play Street, and had a few snow days at home! You LOVE the snow and now understand that word, along with "ice."

-You are so smart, my love, and I can see those wheels turning as you learn new words and new concepts every day! This month we added in lots of new words, including lots of multisyllabic words: "dangerous," "crocodile," "underwear"... that's a funny story, actually. Banner came in Mommy & Daddy's room first thing in the morning and Daddy was handing Banner his underwear to help him put them on. He never said the word, but as he held the underwear up, you said, "Un-wear." It sounded kind of mumbled, so we didn't think anything of it, but then you said it again, "unnerwear." Daddy and I looked at each other knowing you fully knew this word. So cute the way you say it! Other words new this month include: milk, walk, hug, nice, rice, back (like when you know you need to put something away - to put it back). "Rice" was funny, too.... we were eating dinner one night, and you were whining and pointing. We couldn't figure out what you wanted, guessing as we handed you different things. Finally, we put the rice in front of you, and you said, "Rice!" Daddy laughed that we spent all the time trying to figure it out, and you knew the word the whole time!

-You also have your own words, like "amu" means open, "khaki" is paci, and for whatever reason "mama" also means fork! My favorite is how you ask for perhaps your favorite food... "kokik," and you emphasize the final /k/ with passion. Of course, it's crystal clear that it means... chocolate.

-You're putting two words together, like "kankew" for "thank you." But, you're also putting ideas together, although with great space between words. For instance: "Dada.....on" (holding a hat for Daddy to put on). I LOVE your "kankew." You say it without reminders as we hand you something  - your milk, your paci, a toy, etc. I hope you stay this polite! :)

-You call Banner "Meemee," but it's slowly becoming "Meemer." Sometimes when he's at school, you will go around the house asking for "Meemer? Meemer?"

-You have another tooth! Your upper left molar popped through after many, MANY nights of you not sleeping. Grandma found it, and I felt both relief and remorse when she told me.... I was glad there was a reason you weren't sleeping, but I'm sorry it took so long for me to figure it out. Your molars came in before other teeth that should come in first, so I wasn't looking there!! I should have known; the timing of your teeth hasn't exactly been reliable!

-You like puzzles and are getting better and better at them. You like learning animal names and making their sounds. You still love "Twinkle" and "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes," along with "Ring Around the Rosy." And you continue to crave attention, especially if it involves anything physical (tickling, cuddling, tossing, rolling, bouncing).

-You've been crying at night when we first put you in your bed and/or leave your bedroom. Even if you're asleep when we leave, you wake up about 30 minutes later and cry. We've been letting you cry-it-out because all the times we have tried to console you or stay with you until you are asleep, the minute the bedroom door opens (even if all the lights in the house are off or we are as quiet as can be), you are up and crying again. You're gonna just have to work through this one on your own, Buddy. I hate, hate, hate that you end your day like this, and I hate hearing you cry for minutes (and once a couple hours!) on end. But, when we've made sure that nothing else is bothering you, there's nothing more we can do for you. We're playing with a different bed time or even allowing more light into the room. We've tried essential oils  - which seemed to help for a week or so, but then maybe that is what is bothering you now? Last night we nixed the oils and you did much better. But, who knows!? It's very unnerving as a parent to have to listen to my baby cry every night. I'm hoping you work this out soon for everyone's sake.

-You also cry easily when you are reprimanded, or even if we are scolding or redirecting Banner in a firm voice. You're very sensitive to not wanting anyone upset - especially at you. When you feel that you are in trouble, you immediately burst into tears, often wanting the other parent to rescue you. Most of the time, though, you are easily consoled if we get your attention calmly and gently hold your hand or pat your arm and say, "Quinn, you're okay. You're okay. It's okay." You collect yourself pretty quickly as you try to hold it together again. The best/cuteset/most heartbreaking part is that you nod your head at us while we say these calming words. Your cheeks are red and your eyes filled with tears as your bottom lip puckers out, and that little head says, "Yes, I'm okay. Thank you, Mommy. I'm okay."

Oh, my sweet Quinn, I love you so much. You are the very perfect toddler in my opinion. So, even when you are driving me nuts, I remind myself that this is a phase, that you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing, and that you will only be this little for so long! I want to savor every minute of you at this age, even if you are up to no good sometimes. You are, after all, still one of the sweetest little boys. You are gentle and kind, nurturing and affectionate. You're a sensitive, tender soul, and I am truly in love with you!

Happy Half-Birthday, Quinn Redding!
Here's to another amazing rest of this second year of your beautiful life.
I love you!
Love,
Mommy


Banner was wanting his own candle, too... it is his 3 and 3/4s birthday, after all! :)




Friday, March 6, 2015

February Favorites

It left us just as quickly as it came! February is already over, but the memories remain! Here's a February photo dump to recap a sweet month! (And check out our snow days in a separate post!)

Levi's 1st birthday party was February 7th. The theme was "Onederland," so Kira & Erick decorated accordingly, and it looked awesome! It was the perfect venue, too - the rec center gym was full of toys, climbing mats, a bounce house, scooters, balls, jump ropes, and all sorts of fun stuff!
Sweet birthday boy!
The kids waiting for their turn at the pinata!

Valentine's Day... kind of overrated, but we did do a little something. And, we went to the Heard Museum to see the dinosaur exhibit.
The boys got a sweet treat from Mommy & Daddy
Caught ya!

Trying to compare just how big this tree is - or maybe how little our boy is!
Quinn couldn't get enough of these rocks. (And I secretly love his diaper sticking out!)
Scientist in the making
Our annual tradition of just having some chocolate fondue for dessert after the kids are in bed. Yummy!
Here are a few other random photos from February:

Just a head.
(And for some reason he reminds me of Aunt Kira here.)
We went to the Zoo with some of Banner's school friends. Feeding the giraffes was the highlight!
Quinn and Garrett playing with a (fake) crocodile
Maybe you CAN pick your friend's nose.
Early morning in Mommy & Daddy's bed
Bed (nap) head
Frosted Flakes in the bulldozer cab (courtesy of Quinn Redding)
My silly boy
At Play Street
fun winter snack
At Jonah's birthday party
Banner's make-shift hamantashen made from bread (all his idea)
Eating hamantashen after school (Banner shared with Quinn)