The Shabbat of the Year

The word "Shabbat" is a Hebrew word related to the verb "cease, rest." It's the 7th day of the Jewish week and is a day of rest. I could get really scholarly and tell you more about Shabbat - like being related to two commandments - to observe and to remember - or being both the best known yet least understood Jewish holiday. But for today's post, I won't go into all that. I just want to dive into why each summer at the camp I went to as a kid, Greene Family Camp, is known as the Shabbat of the Year. I've written about camp before, and my own feelings about this home away from home. But, I've never written about it as the parent of kids who get to go. Because today Banner came home from camp and is full of stories about his adventures and new memories, I feel compelled to capture the stories here for Banner and for Quinn. Let me tell a little about their Shabbat of the Year, and then I'll return to this analogy.

For Quinn, this summer was his first time to experience camp without us with him. For years, we've attended Family Retreats, even when Knox was 18 months old and sleeping in a pack-n-play. Only during the last family event we attended (February 2020) had Quinn slept in a bunk away from us, and on the first night, he cried and had to have a staff member help him get to sleep (by making him laugh while singing "Fudgy the Whale"). When it came time to decide if Quinn would be attending, I was reluctant. Because COVID shut camp down for over a year, there hadn't been any fall or spring camp experiences for him, nor had there been the family experiences we normally would have attended. But, I went ahead and asked Quinn if he wanted to go to camp. Without pause, Quinn immediately said, "YES!" When I said, "Okay, but I don't think little Levi or Luca are going. I don't know anyone else your age going," he replied, "That's okay. I'll make friends." And I knew he was ready. As the summer approached, I was nervous for Quinn to go because after so many months locked down at home and learning virtually, he had spent very little time away from the house or from us. But, we prepared as best we could - having sleepovers with cousins in the early summer, returning to school for the final 9 weeks of the year, and talking about how to handle homesick feelings. Each night at dinner the week before camp, we also talked about the "What ifs" to prepare for what to do when we weren't there to solve all the problems: What if you lose something? What if you can't poop? What if you want to sleep but someone else is being loud? What if someone is bullying you? What if your butt itches? What if you're mad at someone? What if someone touches you inappropriately? And so on...

So, for 10 days, I wondered how Quinn was doing. 10 days can be a long time to not know. Our letters from Quinn were about being upset or angry (he couldn't find his water bottles and thought someone stole them on the first day of camp... he later found them on the last day!) or about missing us and crying (he only cried on the first night, but wrote about it 4 days later and we didn't get that letter until day 8). I was so worried he was having a horrible time. But, when I picked him up on day 10, he said he had so much fun and wished he had 5 more days to stay! His voice was entirely hoarse (he has vocal nodules, and I knew to expect this) and he was congested, and he gave me the best squeeze!! He told me about his amazing counselors (Eden, Mason, Seth, and Gal). He told me about three new friends he made (Myles, Greyson, and Asher) and where they live (all out of town). He told me about the new foods he likes (grilled cheese, jelly, beef stew, and peaches). He told me about his favorite thing (zip line), learning to do a flip off the diving board, when he cried (only the first night), how loud everyone always was, and that his tongue bled when he ate too many sour Skittles. He told me about the kid who passed out from sniffing the Havdalah spices too many times. (?) He told me about some of the naughty kids in the bunk who never listened to the counselors and the kids who used bad language - including Banner (he said the "a-word," and when Quinn told him, "You're not allowed to say that," Banner replied, "Mom's not here, Quinn. We're at camp, so we can say whatever we want.") He told me how they had to be asleep ("not just in bed, Mom, but asleep!") by 7:25. When Quinn got home, we went through his things, and I realized how much he needed me to be there to set him up with all his belongings (parents weren't allowed to due to new COVID protocols). He never found his masks (the 60 required masks that were to be sent to cover 6 mask changes a day), so he borrowed every day. He never found the letter I had written to him and put in his bag for the first day. He didn't know he had extra batteries for his flashlight (yes he did, I showed him!). He didn't know he was supposed to unpack his shower caddy so that the only things in there were what he needed for the shower (yes, he did... I told him!). He didn't know his fan clipped on to his bed (yes he did, I showed him!). He didn't know he had a laundry bag for his dirty clothes (yes he did... I showed him!!). Yet somehow, he survived and thrived and wants to go back!

For Banner, this was his first long summer. He'd gone to camp for the 10 days like Quinn before, but he'd never been for 3.5 weeks, nor had he been during a COVID year. The letters and pictures of Banner all indicated he was having a great time. However, the most recent photos we got last night had us worried he was very sad. He had a sad look and was all alone, so I worried maybe saying goodbye was getting to him. When he got off the bus today, he looked like maybe he's grown a bit, had a raspy, hoarse voice, and was all smiles! It was so good to get my arms around him and hear all about his time the whole way home. I was worried he'd be annoyed that Quinn had to come with us to pick him up (because Quinn was sick and would have otherwise been at day camp). Instead, Quinn playfully peeked through the back seat window in the car with a funny expression, and Banner immediately laughed. It was so good to hear them talk about camp in the back seat all the way home. 

We learned that Banner lost two teeth while gone, and there's a camp tooth fairy! We learned about his two (maybe three?) "Shabbat-y Hotties" (oy vey!). Banner likes tomato soup now - especially with crackers and grilled cheese. He also likes tea - but not just any tea; it has to be Saba Ron's tea! He told us about the RAID they did (telling us that RAID = Random Activities In Darkness) when they stole the camp director's husband's birthday cookie cake off of his front porch. We heard about the lake activities, the ropes course and climbing the Alpine Tower, and being asked to participate in the All Camp Variety Show. The lonely pictures we had seen last night were actually him being homesick, he said. I thought perhaps the magic tricks he did during the Variety Show didn't go well and he was upset, but that was not the case. He told us he learned new card tricks, and they did go well. He told us about Macabbiah and how his team (Yarok - the Green Team) won. He said that's why his voice is still hoarse (although that was almost 2 weeks ago) from all the screaming and cheering. We learned he got dehydrated one day and fainted while in the gym (after being at the Ropes Course). We also learned he was the bottom bunk but never changed his sheets. He lost the charging cord to his (well, MY old) digital camera and the top blanket to his bed. He wears deodorant now; when I asked if he needed it, he said, "I don't know, I always used it so I wouldn't have to find out if I needed it." We've learned that the whole bunk would "twerk" in the cabin, and Banner has been going around "twerking" after dinner tonight. (Insert palm-to-face emoji)  

Tonight, Banner told me his "sweet" was coming home, his "sour" was coming home, and his "service" was coming home. :) He said he missed us so much and he's really glad to be back. I'm really glad he's home, too. We're all back together again - all 5 of us under one roof - which I am forever grateful for. I'm beyond thankful that my kiddos went to to a camp where everyone was safe, where COVID protocols were in place so that the whole community tested negative and continued to test negative throughout the weeks they were there, where they could let loose and be themselves, where they know there are so many people they can go to for anything they need. 

As a parent of campers, we, too, got our Shabbat of the Year. We got a change of pace, a different vibe around the house. We got individual time with each of our boys. For 10 days, Knox got to be an only child. When Quinn got home, he got to be the big brother without an older one. He got time with just me while Knox was at day camp, and he got special time with just Knox. When Banner got home, he was the center of attention, where we wanted to hear everything and let him choose dinner; and for the next few days while his brothers are at day camp, he will have some special time with just me and Sam. Banner has been all smiles all night, the sweetest to his brothers, and so well-mannered. His brothers have been especially attentive to him and wanting to hear everything he has to say. I know this won't last forever, but I'm savoring the freshness he feels for his family and his home. We've all had a long break away from the mundane routine of every day. It was a rest for all of us, something special to take with us into the upcoming school year which starts a week from tomorrow! Life is challenging, hectic, and fast. It's been so nice to mix it up a little bit, get some time away from ordinary and from each other to remember how important, special, and amazing each member of this family is. It was a chance for all of us to disconnect in order to reconnect. Camp IS the Shabbat of the Year on so many levels. It's the reminder to slow down, embrace those we love, take time for ourselves, and rejuvenate. My boys have told me we should be more observant of Shabbat, and Quinn and Knox have both told me we should be making challah each Friday. They're right. It's important - to stop, to reflect, to observe, to remember, and to rest. While we will do that each week and bring these feelings along, the highlight will always be the Shabbat of the Year... and we already can't wait for next summer!

Camp Send-Off

Today, you left for camp after nearly 16 months of straight family time. Yes there were a few overnights with a small group of trusted friends or cousins, but for the most part, you two have been glued to our house for such a long time, it feels surreal that you are away at camp for the first night tonight, and I can't call or find out what you're up to right away. My guess is that by now you've read the letter I packed in your luggage. But for safekeeping, here you are - my letter to you as start your first (Quinn) and longest (Banner) sleep-away experience at GFC:

Dear Banner & Quinn,

 

Welcome to camp!! This is a special day for all of us. I am thrilled that you wanted to spend time at one of my favorite places, and I hope that you will continue to develop special memories at the same place I called my “home away from home” for many years (6 to be exact). Going to sleep-away camp is a privilege. Not all kids get to go, and I hope you know how lucky you are to get this experience. My wish for you is that you make the most of it and learn so many things to bring home and share with us.

 

Camp is a place for all kinds of new things to happen. Make new friends, try a new food, learn a new skill, explore new ideas, discover something about yourself. These are all bound to happen in the coming days, and I can’t wait to hear all about it. Greene is a special place. It’s a place where it’s fun to challenge yourself. It’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s okay to fail here. You’ll find that it’s a safe place to be your true self and find total and complete acceptance. Some of the people you meet here will be lifelong friends. If you’re like me, you’ll end up in college with many of them. You’ll call many of them best friends. Maybe some will be groomsmen in your wedding, maybe you’ll want them to meet your family one day. Perhaps you’ll even send your kids to camp together years from now.

 

Camp is the Shabbat of the year. You’ll hear this phrase again and again, and it’s true. It’s a magical place where you’ll find peace, calm, and fun. My hope is you’ll come home and ask that I sign you up again for next summer and start counting down the days until next year. It’s a place where you can unwind and relax, where you have to be off screens so you can disconnect from the technology world in order to connect with nature, with people, with yourself. Use this time to be totally present and focused on here and now.

 

During this time, I know you’ll learn new songs (maybe, like me, you’ll even sing them to your own kids one day), make new memories, laugh with new friends, and become more independent. You’ll be creative and learn how to be away from home and “on your own.” It’s a place to question and challenge yourself and your religion. It’s a place to know that everyone around you is Jewish – a rare thing to happen in the “real world.”

 

I know you will miss being home. I know you’ll miss your screens, you’ll miss your own bed, and maybe even your family! J But take this time to really BE and to enjoy yourself. You’ll be home soon enough – back to the regular routine and back to school. But, in these coming days and weeks, just focus on giving the most you can to this experience. The more you contribute, participate, listen, focus, behave, volunteer – the more you will get out of your time here. You will grow more as a person, you’ll have more fun, and you’ll find more joy and laughter with friends.

 

Have a fantastic time! Don’t forget to…. wipe your butt, use a Kleenex not your finger, drink lots of water, wear sunscreen, eat vegetables and fruits, use soap, keep up with your belongings, mind your manners, get lots of sleep, include others, cry if you need to, ask for help when you need it, be safe in the pool, take care of your voice (nodules, nodules!), and write home as often as you can!! Oh, and bring all the memories home, carry them with you forever. ENJOY!

I miss you already, but we’ll all be okay.

I love you MORE!

Love,

Mom

And Another Year Makes TEN!

Dear Banner,

I've been putting off writing this letter to you for a few days, which is very much unlike me. I'm not sure why I've put it off for sure, but my best guess is either because I'm in denial that you're 10 or because I'm so unsure of how best to capture this past year and how to write my innermost thoughts about you. To be very clear, I love you. I love you with every bit of my being, which is why I want to do the "right" thing, why I worry so much, why you drive me insane trying to figure you out. But, truth be told, I haven't liked you much this year. 

There, I said it. It's out. Out of my mind and on this post that you will read someday. Let me say you can be very likable, and you have a really great heart. There are so many things I DO like about you. But, overall this year, I haven't enjoyed my time with you, and I am pretty sure you would say the same about me. This is not necessarily a secret. I've been honest with you during our chats at bedtime that I'm really worried about your anger, your attitude, your lack of interest, your impulsivity, and especially your negativity. We've been seeing a psychiatric nurse practitioner, Ms. Sonia, about what might be going on, but three months later, we don't have a lot of answers. This is my number one worry and frustration with you. It's been hard as a parent to know if the behaviors and emotions we see are due to an underlying diagnosis and, if so, which one(s). I don't know how to make it better. And, even though most of what concerns me are behaviors we only see at home, it impacts our relationship and our ability to bond.

-You are obsessed with (probably addicted to) screen time. That's probably the root of a lot of the issues - you just want to stay home and play video games ALL.THE.TIME! Yes, quarantine and COVID lockdown created a really bad situation for our family, like everyone else's. At first I tried to really monitor and limit the screens. But about 8 months in, I had had enough of the fighting with you guys, and when you rarely wanted to do the fun activities I had planned, I gave up. You guys won. With virtual learning for 27 weeks of school this year, you were just so used to being online, being able to sneak on to YouTube, message your friends, play on websites, and there's not a lot I could do to control that. So, I let it go. And now, this summer, with two weeks of quarantine coming up before you leave for Greene, I've decided to let it go until after you return from camp - a 3.5 week detox you'll be forced into. But, buddy, you better believe we will have MAJOR limits coming up in August. 

-You continue to wish you were an only child. I agree it would be really fun for you to have ALL of our attention, and I wish I were able to give you more of our undivided time and attention. But, the reality is that you have two little brothers. And when I do set aside time fo you, you rarely want to spend it doing anything but having me watch you play video games. You don't really engage with us. 

-Your brothers seem to really annoy you. (See point above.) You have a love/hate relationship with them. You've come a long way with Quinn, but you can still be pretty mean to him. Knox considers you a bully. He doesn't want you around a lot. You're not the most helpful to him, and you don't really engage with him either - unless it benefits you, like delaying bedtime to "say goodnight" or "give Knox another hug." 

-You absolutely hated virtual school this year. Ms. Eddy was your teacher and you thought she was super strict. It's true, she was. But, I don't envy any teacher who had to reach their students virtually. She had a tough job, as did you, and I'm so very happy that has ended. Your grades went way down during virtual learning and came right back up the last 9 weeks of school (minus math which I will be defensive of you about - not enough grades and lack of teacher feedback to parents since everything was turned in virtually without us being able to see what you were missing. You went from A first 9 weeks to C second 9 weeks then to A and back to C.)

-You rush through your work and make careless mistakes, but you are a very smart kid. You don't really want to work for your grades. You want to do well - but you aren't really willing to put in the effort or time that it takes to learn or correct mistakes. You expect it to come easily for you, and if it doesn't, it's everyone else's fault - it's the teacher, me, the paper, the other kids in class.... 

-When we tell you we are going somewhere or doing something, you are completely irked. You don't want to leave the house much, and if we do go somewhere fun, it's never good enough. You wish we had invited more people, you don't want to go right now, you wish we could stay there longer, you wish you could buy something from there, you wish we could go do X instead.... This is a constant nag for me, as it seems also to be for you. This is nothing new, but it's getting really old. I've often joked that if we said we were going to Disneyland, you would say, "Oh, man. I wish we could go to Disney WORLD." It's just never enough. I told Ms. Sonia I just wish for you that you could be content with your lot in life. 

-I don't see you taking responsibility for your actions. It's never your fault. Ms. Yael noticed this in PreK, and it is still the same 6 years later. There's a reason you hit your brother; he took the iPad while you were in the bathroom. There's a reason you failed the test; Ms. __ didn't explain it right. There's a reason you threw something at Quinn; he wasn't listening to you. There's a reason the juice got spilled; Knox shouldn't have put the cup there. I'd love to see you starting to take some responsibility - perhaps an "I'm so sorry," an "I shouldn't have done that," or even using your words kindly and in a nice tone to ask for what you need.

-You are excessively persistent. While this may be a strength in your future endeavors, it's annoying and frustrating at home. When you want something, you don't stop. You've been asking for a phone for most of this year, and the probing and pushing is incessant. You beg, bribe, and negotiate with all your might, and it can be quite draining. 

-Making decisions is rough for you. I've heard this is true for others with ADHD. I'm not good about decisions either - but it's usually because I don't have a preference. For you, you want everything and can't make a choice and then wish you'd made a different decision. Saying goodbye to old items is hard, too. You've grown much better at this just this year. Perhaps because you didn't connect with your teachers well this year or didn't enjoy this crazy virtual school year, but you were easily able to throw away old papers and notebooks which is very different than in years past. 

I know I've just unloaded a whole lot of complaints and negativity, but it's the honest truth - which is the whole point of these letters. But, that's not all of you, B. As I wrote in the beginning, you have many likable qualities, and I want you to know I see those, too. 

-You have a deep care for others. When a friend at school told you something about her home life, you shared it with me because it was on your mind and really upsetting to you. We were able to talk through that situation and come up with a plan to help. You worry about what you might hear in the news - about Black Lives Matter and conflicts in Israel. You want to help those you see on the streets and wonder about what someone might be going through. 

-You love history. This year you learned about the Holocaust, and while it was a topic I feared discussing with you, I think it went (and is going) really well. We started with reading Number the Stars together, then we talked about Anne Frank and some of our distant cousins who had to hide during WWII, then we discussed more awful ways the Jews were treated. We haven't covered just how bad it was, but our conversations have begun, and I feel like I'm not hiding anything from you anymore. This year you read books about D-Day, Pearl Harbor, Walt Disney, the Revolutionary War, and Titanic. You are intrigued by the story told in Hamilton. You also really like science and nature. You're drawn to gems, fossils, rocks, and even though you complain about going on hikes, I think you secretly like learning about outside.

-Speaking of difficult topics, I love that there is no topic off limits when we chat. You know you can ask me anything. We talk about puberty, sex, and love. We talk about gender identity, racial tensions, and your perceptions of people. We don't get embarrassed about it, and I love that we can talk without holding back.

-You have some really sweet friends. I love the relationships I see you building and have observed that you are a genuine friend to others. 

-You're a gorgeous boy. You have beaming blue eyes and a radiant smile with deep dimples. I love to look at you. The reason I get on to you about fixing your hair is because I want to see your whole face - including your short, cute forehead. 

-You really are very smart! While memorizing math facts has never been something you feel the need to do, you can figure out complex math problems in your head. This can cause us to argue sometimes because I don't know how you got an answer to a problem without you showing your work... and usually the reason you miss a problem is only because you misread or didn't read the question right or at all. You are quick and expect yourself to be right, which has gotten you in to trouble, but in general you are a good mathematician. You don't love reading, but you're really good at it. I wish you'd read more novels, but you're much more fact driven and like books like Guinness Book of World Records, fact books about Star Wars, and other types of general knowledge books. If you read fiction, it's generally a graphic novel: DogMan, Captain Underpants, for example.

-When in public, you have really great manners. I'm often told that you behave very well. You ask others how they are doing, make great conversation with adults, and are polite with your responses. I don't see this at home, but I'm delighted that you know how to behave yourself when I'm not around. 

-You're trying out new activities: basketball and tennis. You seem to like them, so perhaps in the fall, we will join a team or enroll in more lessons. You also want to be a model... which we started to look into before COVID hit last year, but then... well, COVID. So, we are looking into that now. 

-You've lost 12 teeth at this point. You pulled the last two on your own. Your 12th tooth came out the same day Knox lost his first tooth. In fact, you pulled your tooth at bedtime (truth be told, I think you pried it out so you could earn some money from Fontina for Robux or V-bucks). But, that gave Knox the courage to try to let us pull his first tooth, and out it came easily. 

-Some of my favorite memories from this year: when you filled out a language arts vocabulary page for "gratitude," and under antonym you wrote, "baditude." Ms. Eddy counted off for it, but we got a good laugh, and when I sent it to the counselors in RISD, knowing many of them use the book Baditude by Julia Cook, the director responded that she had forwarded my email to Julia Cook! Also, snowy hot tubbing in Broken Bow; watching you talk to Grandma on FaceTime many nights this year; taking you and Quinn to Six Flags, and as we were walking to the next attraction you said, "I want to go on that roller coaster, but I might get an erection," because you know you'd be "excited" (you'd just learned what an erection was the night before during one of our puberty talks); watching Aunt Mischelle show you how to snowboard at Hightower; watching you swing the pantyhose around on your head on New Year's Eve at Grandma's - trying to knock water bottles over; knowing how excited you were to tell everyone you were on a commercial for Dad's judicial campaign. When we were filling out your camp forms, and on the page asking the camper to fill out information yourself, there’s a question asking about what you hope to get out of your camp experience. You said, “To get out of family business.” I asked what you meant by that. You said, “You know, to get out of family business.... I don’t know, just to get away from family business.” I said, “Like to get away from home?” And without missing a beat, you said, “Camp IS home.” Your seamless response made my heart so happy, and I said, “I’m so glad you feel that way. I feel that way too.” We talked more, and you meant you want to get a break from the ordinary, a break from your usual every day, a break from us. And I’m okay with that, especially if it means you're just going to another home for the summer.

Now... about how we celebrated your big day! I'd been asking for over a month what you wanted to do to celebrate your birthday, and you never committed or wanted to talk about it later. I'd suggested many things, but you never seemed to be drawn to anything. I even suggested Great Wolf Lodge - which you didn't take me up on! Finally, you decided about a week before your birthday that you'd like to take a few friends to Urban Air. So, we had those friends over for pizza at the house then spent 2 hours playing at Urban Air before returning home for cake and ice cream. Just before cake, Jillian had a special surprise for you, a Cameo of KreekCraft, your favorite YouTube gamer. You're still ecstatic about it a week later! 

The evening before your birthday, we had our usual tradition of reading your I Believe and reflecting on the year you were 9. Dad and I told you your birth story, and you seemed more interested than ever before. I asked if you wanted balloons the next day, much to Dad's frustration (he is not fond of balloons); you said yes, but the next morning you were barely interested in them. I think that MAY have been our last balloon wake up. We ate donuts, you let me take your chair picture, we went to Grandma's to swim after taking Knox to Anshai camp, we had Cane's for lunch, you played a lot of video games in the afternoon, and after taking Knox to Emler, we met the family at Uncle Brock and Aunt Mischelle's community pool to swim and have dinner and cupcakes. Brycen and Nami spent the night that night, and of course, you got to stay up late playing more video games with your cousins.

Last 9-year-old photo!

At your well-check with Dr. B, you did great! Here are your stats:

Weight: 75.6 pounds = 55th percentile

Height: 52 inches = 28th percentile

BMI: 18.92 = 80th percentile

Banner, you really are a great kid! I am eternally grateful that you are healthy, smart, and loving. I know I've said a lot of things that are negative and hard to read about yourself. They're hard to say. I do believe as we get back to "normal" after this pandemic, things will get easier for you and for me. I do believe we are on the right track with Ms. Sonia to try to figure out the best course of action for you, whether that's medication or just counseling. Something has to get better. This is not the kind of dynamic I want for either of us or this family. We're going to continue to try some ADHD medication in the fall while weaning off an anxiety medication that seemed to exacerbate the ADHD symptoms of impulsivity (trying to climb on the roof at Lana's and at Uncle Brock's houses, for example). School is only going to get more challenging; relationships are only going to get more complex; our calendar is only going to get more packed. But above all of this, I want you and I to connect more. I love that you trust me, that I'm your safe space, that you can be your raw self with me, but I want to be more than your metaphorical punching bag. I want to see you be happy. I want to see you be content. I want to see you calm and thriving. 

As I wrap up this blog post, I'm well aware that this is the last post in your second album of your blog books I publish for you. On your 5th birthday, you received all my letters of your first 5 years, and so at 10, I will create another blog book for you. I have a feeling you won't really ever read these books, but I love that you will have my inner-most thoughts ready to read whenever you want. Perhaps this particular letter will be a rough read, as it points out a lot of my (and dad's) frustrations with you right now. I hope you see that we care so much about you, though. I hope you see that we've been on a path with you for a while where we are trying to better our parenting, find what will help create calmness and happiness for you, and explore all of our options to help you grow into a successful, fulfilled individual. Our job as your parents is to get you from childhood to adulthood in as smooth of a journey as we can - in one piece, as safe and healthy as possible with functioning coping skills, a healthy self-esteem and self-efficacy, and thriving relationship skills. It's not an easy job, and sometimes your job IS to push back, test the limits, and explore the boundaries. On that, you do a great job. I just want you to remember we are your partners in life. We want to guide you over the bridge that connects childhood to adulthood, and that bridge can be shaky sometimes. As we enter "tweenhood," please hold our hands, Banner. We love you so very much and I sure hope you know that and can feel it as strongly as I do.

Happy 10th Birthday, Banner Boone!

Love,

Mommy

You as a Disney character :)

This photo was actually taken by Grandma while on FaceTime. Love it!