Love is Love

Dear Banner, Quinn, & Knox,
I love you three with all my heart - every last little piece of it. I want you to know that no matter who you love, my love for and acceptance of you will never change. I want you to know that no matter what you call yourself, I love you and will forever have intense, strong, and unwavering love for you. I want you to know that it breaks my heart that not every parent can say that to their children.

It is almost the year 2020, and it is still considered "controversial" and "offensive" for some people to be their true selves. I want you to know, the only thing I will ever find "offensive" is if you feel you can't be your true self with me. If you ever feel that you have to hide yourself from me or be worried about my love for you, I will have failed you and this parenting gig.

When you came into the world, and when I held you just moments after, each one of you had my whole heart. Each one of you were pronounced male, and you had all the anatomy of a "boy" baby. But, if those doctors were wrong in telling us that, or we have been led astray, and you are really something other than "male" or other than "boy," you have the right to correct us. You have the right to tell us who you are or how you feel at any time, and my love for you will stay constant, in place, and unchanged.

There will NEVER be ANYTHING that you could do that will make me reject you or push you away from me. I will never turn my back on you - ever.

One day, you will fall in love. You may fall in love many times over the course of your life. I want you to know that as long as you are well-treated by the person who is lucky enough to receive the love you give them, I will support your desire to spend your time with that person. I will celebrate that love. I will support you in pursuing those relationships that make you happy and healthy.

I want you to know that there are times when the world around us sends messages that are different than what I'm telling you. There are companies that will give money to organizations that feel differently than I do. There are ads you'll never see because they're deemed too "controversial" for showing certain loving relationships. There are television programs that will never air because some executive decided some people aren't worthy of being seen displaying their affection publicly. I want you to know I do not approve of their unwillingness to embrace love - their shunning of people who don't follow whatever made-up rules they think everyone should live by. I hope you will agree that your friends and family are free to love who they want and should be accepted for who they are without your judgment. I will always support love, and I will always support you.

Sometimes we as parents forget to say blatantly what we want our kids to know. I sure hope you feel all of this already, at even these young ages of 8, 6, and 3. But, just in case you aren't sure or you ever have to think about it, you are loved unconditionally. That means if you are girls and not boys, we love you. If you are gay, we love you. If you are straight, we love you. If you are bisexual, we love you. If you are a boy sometimes and a girl other times, we love you. If you aren't attracted to anyone ever, we love you. If you don't have a gender, we love you. You get the point. Love is love, and mine is forever yours!

Love,
Mom

P.S. I have read this letter to Dad, and he wants me to include that he feels "the exact same way."