Oh my. I cannot believe I just typed in that title up there - EIGHT years old. It is so true what we parents know all too well: the days are LONG but the years are so very SHORT. Every day can feel like a year, and every year feels like a day, and I am so awed by how quickly you went from my swaddled baby to my active boy. Each year when I write your birthday newsletter, I try to think of all the little things that make you who you are - your likes and dislikes, your interests and abilities, your typical schedule and routine. I want to capture you at this very moment - for myself of course - but also for you to look back on and remember what you were like at this age. But, I was writing your "I Believe" the other night, and I kept having to shrink the font size to get my words to fit on one page because I just kept writing and writing and listing and listing - all the beautiful memories and experiences and intricacies that make you so perfectly Banner.
So, the hard part is trying to capture you when you are so very complex. I don't know where to start, so no better way than to just dive in:
-You're a very social kid. You always want a friend to come over. You want to invite friends to join us out to dinner, or you wonder who is coming with us whenever we go somewhere and can be disappointed when I say it's just our family. The only times you seem to get in trouble at school are for talking to friends. You want to run that mouth of yours even when the teacher is talking, and you like to try to blame it on the other kids, but we both know you're a talker and it's hard to stop your mouth from saying what pops into your brain.
-That brain... it's always working. You're always curious, very inquisitive, always planning or thinking or negotiating. This summer you are taking SIGS classes (Summer Institute for Gifted Students) even though I tried to talk you out of it. It's an early start time and getting up early on a "school day" is always a challenge for you (but never on the weekend, of course!). But, you pretty much begged to participate, and who am I to tell you no to an academic summer!? You want to think and use that brain of yours to solve complex problems in creative ways.
-You started seeing Ms. Kim this last semester of school. You were complaining of anxiety symptoms ("I think I'm having a heart attack," "It's hard to breathe," having tummy aches) and you are still struggling with sleeping through the night, so a counselor was a good option for you. In addition, you talk to Ms. Kim about your relationship with Quinn and your ADHD symptoms. You can be very impulsive and inattentive, and that can get in the way of your relationships with Quinn and with us. Ms. Kim has really helped us see the you that ADHD can sometimes hide, the sweet boy I've always known is there but can't show up sometimes due to the complications the symptoms cover up. I'm looking forward to continuing to work with her to help you with your sleeping through the night in your own room and to helping you feel safe and calm.
-Speaking of your relationship with Quinn: you really wish you were an only child. That's the bottom line. You and Quinn have SO much fun together and can be the best of friends, but you do not like sharing attention, time, toys, games, etc. It's hard for you to compromise and share turns. You don't just want to be the alpha male, you want to be the ONLY male.
-You love all things construction, building, assembling and disassembling, creating, and sharing. You love Legos, love to make your own videos, love science experiments with Daddy, love planting and gardening, love finding interesting items around the house to recycle into an experiment or an art project.
-Day-to-day life with you can often depend on what kind of mood you are in. You can be difficult to motivate to get ready for school each morning - lots of reminders to get dressed or eat breakfast or brush teeth. You would rather find any little trinket to play with and distract you. What's important to you at any given time takes over what is ultimately important to getting you out the door on time. We've been focusing on helping you manage your time with the phrase, "First things first, Banner." I say this a lot, because you need redirecting to finish homework before playing a game or find your shoes before determining which Pokemon cards you're going to give to Quinn, for example. We have to be mindful to turn off the TV before we give you a task to make sure we have your attention. We forget we cannot parent you from across the room, as you can completely tune us out. I can ask you many times to do something, but you'll forget before you even get half-way to where you were going and say, "Wait, what did you say?" We ask for eye contact first, we have you repeat what we asked you to do, we give reminders, but sometimes the task still doesn't get done. You are like the absent-minded professor sometimes, and while it is comical on some level, it's infuriating on another. I just wish I knew what it was like to be in your brain - always thinking, always moving, always distracted.
-You've grown quickly this year. We will see Dr. B next week, so I'll update this post at that time with your official stats, but you are now in size 8 clothes and size 2 shoes. You kinda skipped through size 7 pretty quickly, as well as size 1 shoes. Yet, you're still on the little/short side when it comes to comparing you to your peers. You can eat a LOT when you get hungry - wanting snack after snack after snack, or wanting to order two meals at a restaurant. You'll eat what your brothers don't finish, and you'll still ask for more. At the same time, your eyes are way bigger than your belly, and you will fill up a Menchie's cup with way too much frozen yogurt and way too many toppings and barely make a dent in it. Your appetite is so hit-or-miss, and I have a feeling as you get older, it is going to be increasing quite a bit!
-You do LOVE sweets. You love candy, beg for sodas (which we barely allow except Sprite), will always ask for dessert, enjoy Slurpees, never pass up making cookies or mug cakes at Grandma & Papa's house, and talk any of your caretakers into getting you sugared up before we come home.
-This year we went on your first cruise, went out of the country for the first time, went camping for the first time. You taught yourself cursive, learned to tie your shoes (kind of), and learned to snap. You went to GFC by yourself for Fall and Spring camps for the first time. You had your first dental procedure (removal of a mucocele on the inside of your mouth) and were so brave. You went to the Texas Capitol and talked to legislators with Daddy and the ADL. You were "in charge" of a cruise ship for 5 seconds for the first time, too!
-Your typical schedule: Up at 6:50 on a school day - and I have to talk you into waking up - finding any carrot to get you up: it's hat day, it's art day, it's bike rodeo, it's book fair, there's free breakfast, anything I can think of that will get you UP. (Of course if it's the weekend you're up long before 6:30 because - well, you want to drive me MAD!) On most days, I drop you off at school around 7:30 before I head to work, other times Daddy drops you or you ride your bike. After school this year, you've been with either me, Grandma, Aunt Kira, or BeeBee depending on if it's a work day for me or not. Then, dinner around 6:00ish, shower around 7:15, and bed by 8:00. And usually you pass out - but you'll be up at least once or twice before morning.
-Some of your favorite things/things that make you so happy: Nintendo Switch, play dates, basketball, Minecraft, Super Mario Odyssey, swimming, Chuck E Cheese's, movie nights, sleeping in our room or having me or Daddy sleep in your bed, the computer, PACE, Brycen & Nami, spending the night at Grandma's, the Levis (big and little), Landon, Sepehr, Max, being on a soccer team, karate class, dates with just Mom or Dad, going to Aunt Jacque's house, getting gifts or party favors, shopping online, riding your bike to school, Nerf guns, arcades, cheese quesadillas.
-Some of your least favorite things/things that make you angry or upset: having to share, leaving someone's house or when they leave ours, being by yourself, time outs, being interrupted, being asked to drink milk, not getting what you want, having to tag along to Quinn and Knox's swim lessons, going upstairs/downstairs by yourself, bugs, homework (mostly writing assignments).
For your birthday celebration, we couldn't decide for the longest time where to have a party. We considered so many different places from National Video Game Museum to Battlefield to Free Play again, but ultimately decided on Impact America where you take martial arts classes and earned your yellow belt just a few weeks ago. It turned out to be a perfect little gathering of good friends and family, and you got to help lead the party with Mr. Wilkinson. There was a lot of laughter and sweating and running and more giggling. Then we went to an impromptu dinner with Zaide/BeeBee and Grandma/Papa, and that was a lot of fun, too! We ended the night with an annual reading of your yearly "I Believe." I just adore this tradition for so many reasons: it gives me closure on the year we've spent with you at that particular age, and it helps us as a family remember so many fun times. I hope in years to come you will look back at each age and reflect on those memories with love and joy, remember the songs and movies, books and toys you were in to at those times, and reflect on what a blessed life you have.
When you got up this morning, Daddy went to get donuts, but you were too busy playing with your new Pokemon cards and constructing your new Labo from Grandma and Papa to even let us put a candle in a donut or sing "Happy Birthday." We went to Damon's birthday party mid-morning and spent the early afternoon eating, splashing at the splash park, and having fun with family. Then, a storm came through just as we were leaving. We tried to open the garage door when we got home, but there was no power, and since Daddy only brought our car key with us (and no house key), we were locked out. We tried to drive to Grandma's house, but with hail and torrential downpours, we decided it wasn't a good idea, especially as trees and branches were falling around us. So, we drove back home and asked our neighbors if we could hang there for a while. Luckily, BeeBee came over about an hour later to give you a birthday gift, and she let us in! Then, you wanted to go see Secret Life of Pets 2 at Studio Movie Grill, so we did that for dinner, and in the middle you turned to me and said, "This is hilarious. Aren't you glad I brought you here?" :) Then we came home and you put together one of your new Lego sets before saying goodnight. I'd say it was a pretty fun day!
On June 3, you asked me if I had started your "I Believe," and I hadn't yet. I don't usually until a couple days before your birthday, but you were very distraught, even cried, because I hadn't started it yet. You thought it meant you weren't important to me or that I had forgotten and wouldn't have time to do it for you. I held you and made you look at me in the eyes as I said, "I got you, Banner. I promise you I will never forget." You seemed tentative, but I was so grateful that you cared, that my efforts to reflect and document all these treasured memories for you made a difference to you. Thank you for that. As I said goodnight to you last night, the last night as a 7-year-old, I told you, "8 years ago tonight, I had never met you, and now I can't imagine my life without you." You said, "You're making me cry." Oh. My Angel Baby, you just open my heart more and more. Sometimes Mommy needs to hear that you care and needs to know that you feel that connection I feel. It's hard for me to tell sometimes, as you push me away physically periodically or you tell me you don't care about certain things, but these quiet, peaceful times just the two of us, the real you comes out and we click and snuggle and tear up together. Those beautiful conversations are what keep me going on the hard days, just knowing that I'm your rock and we have each other and there isn't a thing we can't talk about.
In the glow of the nightlight, we talk about where babies come from, why Christians believe in Jesus, what my grandparents were like, how much we miss Bubbie, how racism is wrong and what we can do to stop it, how to be a better friend to someone or how to navigate a difficult friendship, how important being honest and truthful is, and how someone could walk into a synagogue and shoot people. There are no great answers to some of these difficult topics, but we are figuring them out together - you asking the great questions and me finding the words to help you understand the world. I have no idea what I'm doing, Banner, and I'm pretty sure you figured that out around 6 months old and have kept it a secret for me for a long time. But, truly, I don't. The one thing that keeps me going, though, is knowing that you and I are in this together - that I am here for you no matter what, and my love for you is strong and unconditional. Of that I am completely sure, and there's no messing that up, so if I trust in that, we cannot go wrong and will figure it all out together.
Keep asking the tough questions. Keep telling me what's on your mind. Keep pushing yourself to learn and inquire and test and understand. Keep growing and changing, even if I want so badly for you to stop just as you are and spend the rest of your life with your little, thin hand in mine.
I love you so much, Angel Baby!
Happy 8th Birthday and MANY, MANY more!
Love,
Mommy
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