Let me say before I get on my soapbox and show my true colors about where I stand on this issue, I have several friends who are anti-choice. And I really like these people. They are good people, nice people, and I don't want to lose their friendships or their respect. I'm apprehensive about publicly sharing any of my beliefs about this topic because I fear alienating others who I consider friends or even family, but I also can't seem to bite my tongue anymore, and you know me... when I have something on my mind, I write about it and share it to spark discussion and thought. Furthermore, I know a handful of people who have disclosed their abortions to me, and this topic is sometimes too raw and painful to discuss or fight about, so they won't say anything about it to you. The stigma and propaganda has alienated these women into being unable to talk openly about their abortions, and the mere mention of abortion can cause guttural reactions that often keep them from speaking out. They are the brave ones, but they've become victims of the fringe propaganda, so it is my deep conviction that we must be voices for those who can't or won't speak out.
So, now that I've laid that out there, let me start with this: Banning abortions is wrong. It's absolutely not the government's place, BY LAW, to create laws that prohibit women from making choices for their own body. There's this thing called body autonomy, and it's a real law. It means that each person has the right to determine who or what uses his/her body, for what, and for how long. Even if you're dead you retain body autonomy. It's the reason a person cannot be forced to donate organs or blood - even if it would be a life-saving measure for someone else. And, if you choose not to donate or let another person live off of your body or your blood, you are not held liable for their outcome (death or illness for example). A fetus is using a mother's body to live off of them, and it is there by permission and not by right. Even if a consenting woman becomes pregnant, she can withdraw that permission even after she has become pregnant.
It might make you wonder, though, why would a person change her mind? Well, to be clear, it doesn't matter why. A woman's decision is hers to make, and it doesn't have to affect you at all. Go ahead - let it go. This is not about you. But, I digress - I'll go ahead and answer that. Family circumstances change, financial circumstances change, perhaps others in her life have become ill or require more attention, time, energy, money, and care, or maybe she found out she has cancer or the baby is ill or is "incompatible with life" and won't live to survive childbirth or much thereafter. It doesn't matter why - it's her choice, it's her body, it's not yours.
Perhaps the decision to have a child was not hers to consent to. Maybe the mother was raped, sexually assaulted, or denied birth control for some reason. Maybe her partner "pulled the goalie" by compromising birth control methods. Maybe she thought she was infertile. Maybe she thought she was going through menopause. But NONE of this matters. Legally, this is HER choice, whether you like it or not.
Now, you might think it's immoral or unethical or against your religion to have an abortion. Then, by all means, don't have one. You don't have to fear that pro-choicers are going to make you have one... it doesn't work that way. But, in our grand United States of America, you have no right to put those beliefs on someone else. You might not like that I don't believe Jesus died for your sins, but it doesn't mean I am denied the right to believe however I want. I may disagree with your idea to vote for the Republican candidate, but I may under no circumstances deny you the right to vote (funny how that doesn't seem to be reciprocated on the other side). You might not like that Hobby Lobby holds some pretty messed up religious views, but you can't deny me the right to shop there. That's MY choice no matter how "wrong" you think it is. You cannot tell me not to have a medical procedure on my own body, even if you believe I'm killing a fetus.
Yes, I've been pregnant... three times, in fact. And yes, I felt an attachment to each of those little fetuses long before they could have survived outside of my body. The kicks, the flutters, the sonograms, the sound of their heartbeats... they were all miraculous to me. But they were my choice. And they needed me to be on board with them being there. I am so fortunate that I never had to endure a miscarriage or a decision to terminate a pregnancy, and I cannot imagine what a woman goes through when grappling with either of these stresses. I had bleeding during each pregnancy, and each time it was awful and terrifying and anxiety-provoking. If I had to make a decision for the sake of my baby or myself, that would have added excruciating agony I cannot fathom. I don't know any woman who would think this is an easy decision. The lack of empathy and understanding shown by our political leaders is appalling and abhorrent.
They have no problem allowing any idiot to buy/own/carry a gun and only send thoughts and prayers when those guns are used to take the lives of innocent children. But, when a woman wants to have a say over her own reproductive health, they will simply not have it. They want to say that fetus is a life, a person, an individual with rights. Well, they just can't have it both ways. At least up until a certain point, that baby is not viable on its own and would not live outside the womb. Anti-choicers want to force that woman to be the incubator for a fetus that is not even livable yet and give it more rights than the woman housing it.
To elaborate on this point, let's just say a 1-month-old baby is on life-support for whatever reason (a horrible disease, a nightmarish accident, any number of reasons...). Let's imagine that baby would not be able to live without medical intervention. By law, the parents of the baby have the right to deny that medical intervention, to turn off life-support, to sign a DNR, to reject life saving measures, right? Why, then, are legislators and anti-choice activists around the country trying to deny those same rights to the parents of a fetus? If you're sitting there trying to justify that, go ahead and stop trying. A reasonable response just doesn't exist. You might never want to take your infant off life-support - and that's okay. But it's just as LEGALLY okay for those parents to choose differently. Judging those parents, the doctors, and the nurses who made the heartbreaking, devastating, gut-wrenching choice to stop life-saving measures will not help anyone.
Nope. Just not for us to say. The decision to abort is only one a pregnant person (with guidance from her doctor) should be making. There are simply too many reasons a mother - even one who very much wanted a baby - would decide to end a pregnancy, and it is just NOT for anyone else to weigh in on. Anti-choicers need to take the religious discussion out of this legal conversation. It is not "pro-life*" to make a woman endure carrying a fetus that is the product of rape; it is not humane to make a family who desperately wants a baby to have to carry a fetus with no brain and won't survive long after delivery; it is not justifiable to put a baby through a painful delivery and unbearable, limited time on earth when more compassionate measures could be used.
*And while I'm at it -- let me just go on to say we need to retire the term "pro-life." We are all pro-life; we all are on the side of the living, of wanting life to endure, which is exactly what pro-choice advocates are proposing - a life for the mother that doesn't put her physical life, her emotional life, her financial life, her marital life, etc. in danger. Likewise, no one is "pro-death." NO ONE. No one WANTS babies to be unhealthy or uncared for or unloved. No one wants fetuses to die. No one wants long lines at the abortion clinic because we want unborn babies to go away. What we want is CHOICE. That woman will have to carry her decision to abort or not her entire life. That's already a heavy burden - whether she chose to keep a baby she really can't take care of (physically or emotionally or financially...) or she chose to abort a baby she really wished she'd been able to keep. She will forever and always, I repeat FOREVER AND ALWAYS, think of that baby (or babies) and hold them in her heart and in her mind, wondering if she made the right choice. No one is going around just signing up for abortions all "willy nilly" for the fun of it. There is NOTHING enjoyable about having an abortion. It's a MEDICAL procedure that needs to be discussed as such. No one is signing up to have surgeries because it sounds like a great idea for a good time (even cosmetic surgery isn't something people want to want!). So let's all stop talking about abortion as if it's something we are for or against. It's a woman's medical option, much like cataract surgery or having a heart transplant. It's the patient's choice to have those procedures, and I don't see anyone passing judgment on those people. SO, get off your high horse and allow women to make their own G.D. decisions.
Okay, I know. You want to talk about when "life" starts. Well, you see. There is a reason we say a mother is "expecting." We say that because she is expecting to have a baby. Sometimes what we expect doesn't happen. There is a reason the definition of "person" includes the word "individual." An unborn baby isn't a "person" by definition; the fetus cannot live independently or individually yet. It's not technically a "person" yet. That's like calling a seed a plant - it's not. And you want to talk about letting nature takes its course and seeing God's plan through. Well, that's not a part of this conversation because GOD is part of the religious conversation, and we have already determined that GOD doesn't fit into the legal discussion. No one is asking you to go against your God. You do not have to get an abortion. That's the beauty of choice! But, I'll give you my two cents on God if you care to keep reading. God also gave us free will and the ability to make tough choices. God gave us the ability to love and nurture one another, to have compassion and understanding. Let OTHERS have their ability to choose; you can decide to be compassionate about that, even if you don't agree. It is not your body. It is not your choice.
This country is going to implode on itself when the leaders keep putting their religious agendas ahead of the freedoms given to others. When is this war on women going to end? Ending legalized abortion won't end abortion, people. Just like the NRA says about guns, there will always be a way. The underground railroad will rise yet again, only women's lives will be in danger due to botched procedures and unsafe practices. How "pro-life" of our politicians to care so much about women's lives. Chances are quite high no matter what race, religion, class, or political affiliation you are, someone you love has had an abortion. Banning them is not going to stop that. In fact, all it does is raise the likelihood that someone you know and love could gravely hurt themselves if their constitutional right to choose is taken away. Please find it in your heart to accept others, even if you don't accept their politics. I 100% accept your decision to not have an abortion. I just also 100% support your choice to have one if you need. And if you happen to agree with what you've read here, please consider donating to Planned Parenthood (click here) or a pro-choice candidate of your choosing to help us fight the anti-choice agenda.
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