21-Month Newsletter: Knox

Dear Knox,
Happy 21-Months little boy! Oh, where to start?!? You've been sick the last week or so - mostly a nasty cough that seemed to be getting worse and a constantly runny nose, so this post is somewhat late because of the stress coming with that - trying to make up for time missed at work to take you to the doctor (a 2 hour ordeal I'll explain further down) and trying to get as much rest as we could when we weren't sure what our nights would look like while trying to sleep train your big brothers (who were mostly the ones keeping us up, not you!). So, I apologize for the tardiness of this post, but better late than never, right? I have so much to say about you at this age, so let me just get on with that already!

What have you been up to this month?

-You said goodbye to the high chair! We still have it available, but more often than not now, you want to sit in your booster with the big boys at the big table. I have to say, it makes clean up easier actually.  You're going to throw out most of your food anyway - and you're required to pick that up. And, since I'm already having to clean the table from your brothers, getting rid of one more item (your high chair and tray) is actually speedier for me. I will say, though, no matter where you are seated, you don't like to stay there long. You eat what you want and are "ah done" pretty quickly. This is very frustrating at restaurants.

-We celebrated Halloween this month; you were the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. We also went to YesterLand Farm for your second visit. Lots of fun!

-You have become addicted to my phone. This is my own doing, and I tried as long as I could to avoid losing you to the screen, but it helped me keep you calm during B & Q's swim lessons, helps speed a long wait in the doctor's office, or settles you when I'm trying to cook dinner and you are whiny from hunger and fatigue that late in the day. So, I've leaned on it to help me out a bit, but now you are obsessed.

-You're also obsessed with Michael Jackson's "Bad" videos and song (yes, videos- the kid version, the long version, the short version, the "making of" versions, the Despicable Me 3 version)... and hence another reason you are addicted to my phone - to hear "Baaah" any time you can. "I wah Bah, I wah Bah." You're even starting to sing along.

-We took you on another hotel stay - just last night actually! We went to Great Wolf Lodge and had a blast! You did awesome - staying up late, sleeping in the Pack 'n Play (that is getting too small for you!), and playing in the water park. Several moments made my "Favorite Memories" list, including floating you down the lazy river while just holding your head. You were so relaxed and enjoying the water.

-You are officially facing forward in your carseat. We switched you a few weeks ago, as you were getting too tall for rear-facing to be comfortable.

-Popular phrases we hear from you: "Mine!" "No!" "Eat" "Watch!" "Moooooommmmyyy!"  "I want that." You also have a vast vocabulary and are putting two words together often. We hear sentences from time to time, too. At the sick visit you just had, Dr. W was very impressed with your words and your ability to make sentences. "Wow! At 20-months, that's impressive!!" I was just glad she was able to understand you!

-You hopped with both feet off the ground for the first time this month. You've been working on this, and Daddy and I both saw it happen and shared your excitement. We can't wait for more "hop hop."

-You have decided to carry on the torch of initiation for cousins. Your 5-month-old cousin, Damon, is not safe around you any longer, as you threaten to launch any toy in his direction when you are around him. You hit him over the head with a magnetic/metal ball last week, and while he was perfectly fine, it officially made me nervous to have you around him. Being hit over the head by a cousin is a rite of passage in this family, so you fit right in. But, I hope that was the last of it. Unfortunately, for your brothers, you are still a force to be reckoned with. Last week, the three of you were taking a quick shower together, and when Banner was rinsing his hair, you hit him in the face, and then Quinn. We tell you "NO!" and then, you tell us "NO!"

-You love to pour . . . water out of the bathtub, milk out of your cup, bubble soap out of the bottle, Danimals out onto the floor. Pretty much any liquid is fair game for you to experiment with.

-After a regular cold seemed to get better and then worse, I took you to the doctor, and now we are back to regular breathing treatments to help clear your cough and keep your lungs healthy. Your pulse Ox was lower than Dr. W would like to see it at, so we did a breathing treatment in the office and then rechecked you. Luckily, you were improved afterward, so the thinking is that apparently, when you get sick - for up to 3 years after your RSV experience - your body can trigger some of "secondary RSV" symptoms. I'm not sure I'm explaining or even understanding that correctly, but needless to say, we are back to managing your breathing and hoping you feel better soon!

-You've been doing much better at school! In fact, you just had your first "performance" showing off your Thanksgiving shirt, hat, and song for us on Friday. You did awesome. I was anxious you would just cry on stage, but you didn't! You had a very serious look on your face the whole time, and right at the end, you spotted me and Daddy, BeeBee, Grandma, and Aunt Mischelle in the crowd and then gave a super-big smile!!  It was awesome! Then, they led you off stage, and it took me a minute to get to you, and that bottom lip was already puffed out so far as you looked all over for me! Sweet boy! Made my heart hurt that you were so worried. But, you are making friends at school, eating well there, and playing with toys! I'm hearing good things! (And your conference is tomorrow, so I'll learn even more!)

-Perhaps my very favorite new thing this month is your hugs to your brothers. You give great ones to me and Daddy, yes, those too. But, these "brother hugs" are the best! You like to give each brother a hug before you say "Nigh Nigh" for the evening, and then the three of you give one big hug to each other. I'm left out, and that's totally okay - because I get to watch you three just giggle and love each other - and usually fall over on each other.

Knox Morgan, being your mama is the best! You are whiny and demanding and needy a lot of the time right now; you're supposed to be. But, you are such a funny, sweet, gentle (most of the time) boy who is learning so much so fast - and I am so grateful to be in the front row to watch it all happen. I do not take that for granted. As I watched you "jump" over the waves in the wave pool this morning, I couldn't help my smile and the thoughts of "Thank God I get to be here to see all these fun moments." Time is passing so quickly, and as always, I want to bottle you up and freeze you just as you are. But I also want to see the person you are going to grow up to be. Just take your time, Baby Love!

I love you more than you could ever imagine!
Happy 21-Months!
Love,
Mommy

First Ride - YesterLand Farm 11/11/17

Enjoying YesterLand Farm 11/11/17

Listening intently at My Gym

Mara's Volleyball Game

We gave you bananas with a side of chocolate. You ate chocolate. 

Dear Leslie (6)

Dear Leslie,
I'm a day late in posting this, but I have a feeling you'll forgive me. I know you get it - life with three busy kiddos is crazy insane, and it leaves little time for reflection and writing. However, not a day goes by that I don't think of you in some way - whether it's a little glimpse of you in Quinn's eyebrows or sharing a funny story with the boys about you or perhaps identifying with last night's This is Us monologue as the character described how every beautiful moment stings with a bit of pain as we can't share it with you. I know Sam and I both thought of you - and how you've missed so many beautiful moments - so many moments we wish you could have seen, been a part of, or rejoiced with us. The birth of 2 more grandsons, the marriage of your daughter, the new house, the growth of Sam's law firm, the Kindergarten graduations and the school performances, the soccer goals, the touchdowns, the first places, the Halloween pictures and the New Year's celebrations ... the list goes on. So, yes, we've been busy. But we are never too busy to think about how much you are still a big part of our lives.

Mostly, my thoughts of you center around my kids, of course. How you'd laugh at the way Knox babbles. You'd probably be copying him and giggling. I can just hear it in my head as I write this. That laugh of yours. You'd still be whispering to each boy that he was your best friend. You and Quinn would get along so well - he would love to cuddle with you and watch movies, and you would marvel at his sweetness and creativity. You and Banner would probably butt heads, but he would so delight you and amaze you at just how damn smart he is. Those boys would think you were silly, loving, and kind. I can see it so clearly in my head as if it were a truth, a reality. That's the gift and the curse, I suppose.

And, Sam. You would be ever-impressed at his newest endeavor. He's running for Congress! I mean, how amazing is that!?! I know you'd be proud of him - following his dream of running for public office, taking a leadership position where he can make a huge difference and impact on so many people! You would totally believe it, and you would spend most every day texting, emailing, and FaceBooking your family and friends - asking for donations for him, asking everyone to pass the news along, getting him votes and support and volunteers. You'd probably annoy everyone at how often you'd keep emailing them! But, it would all be out of pride and love for your only son. You'd know that he was feeling torn between his family and his love of country and standing up for what is right. Yet, you'd know that the passionate kid inside of him, the boy you raised who wouldn't give up no matter what, couldn't be talked out of this decision to be a loud voice in this time of chaos in our country.

This letter would be incomplete if I didn't include one big issue that began with that chaos. The way we see it, our world got flipped upside down when citizens across the nation seemed to identify with negative messages a presidential candidate was spewing. We didn't care that one specific candidate didn't win... what we cared about was that so many people were buying the garbage being sold by the other. Unfortunately, in the process of people trying to make their decisions about who to vote for or to vent their frustrations with the candidates, harsh words were spoken and families and friends were saying awful things to one another. In a string of (perhaps misunderstood) events and heated debates, well-meaning passion turned into severed ties, and now we are one of the statistics of families who don't interact with certain family members. You'd be saddened and frustrated to know that we haven't seen a couple family members in nearly a year now, and we have been asked not to include them at birthday parties and family events, as they feel we owe an apology for something. I'm honesty not sure what that apology should be - especially if it's seemingly only owed on our side of this conflict. There's much more to the story, but I have a feeling you know the truth and what's been going on. And, if you do know that truth, you are saddened, fearful, and terribly angry. Of that, I have no doubt.  You raised some stubborn kiddos, Leslie, and neither side is budging on this one.

With that exception, things are mostly wonderful in our busy lives. We are busy with raising little men around here, and through it all, Sam and I keep each other quite happy. There's a photo that sits on my bathroom counter and stares at me every morning as I do my hair or make-up and every evening as I get myself ready for bed. It's the photo taken as Sam and I were leaving our wedding, rose petals up in the air, giant smiles on our faces, and a crowd of loved ones around us. And, quite clearly, you are in the background. I can unfreeze that moment in my mind, and you are brought back to life, carrying my wedding shoes out of the hotel, finding your place in the crowd to wave us goodbye, feeling like you'd "been in a movie." Just like in the photo, you are here with us still - frozen quite clearly in the background but with a smile on your face, carrying us, in the minds of everyone who loved you, and seeing us on our way. There may have been an unexpected and painful goodbye, but you've never really left, and there are days I expect you to just walk in the door. Well, I suppose you do, though. In your own way, you do. You show up, and your presence is felt.

I'll end with this promise, again. I promise you I'm keeping your little boy in line. I'm here for him, I support him, and I encourage him. I promise we make each other happy, and we love each other so much. I promise to take great care of your grand babies, too. I promise to keep your memories alive and well and to pass on so many of your stories and wisdom. I promise to make each day a beautiful day.

Missing you always,
Amber