Reflecting on A Crazy Year

Last year at this time, I remember not wanting to welcome 2010. One major reason that I recall is that I'd be saying goodbye to my wedding year. 2009 was such a great year of planning and excitement getting ready for my wedding and settling into married life. But, as time will not stand still, 2010 had to come eventually. And, did it ever make it's impact! I don't really know the best way to describe this year as it had some major ups and some major downs. I remember eating a black-eyed pea on New Year's Day last year - participating for the first time in a superstitious tradition that my aunt has always encouraged us to choose. Well, I listened this year, and I'm not sure if it was a good thing or not. I'm a little torn on whether to partake in the black-eyed pea eating again this year. So, let me take this opportunity to reflect on my year and make a good, well-thought out decision.

This year:

• Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She endured numerous surgeries, biopsies, and recoveries along with chemotherapy and radiation treatments. She lost her breasts, she lost her hair, she lost her energy. But, she fought with courage and bravery. And, she's cancer-free and she's won so much more than she lost!
• I met my youngest nephew, Colby, this year. He's precious, and it's fun to get to know his personality and to watch Colby's big brother, Miles, become just that - a big brother.
• I watched my oldest nephew, Caden, walk across the stage to get his Kindergarten diploma after a year of being his school counselor - a treat not many aunts get! And, then, I welcomed my niece, Mara, to her Kindergarten year as her school counselor as well.
• We said goodbye to some of our dear friends - Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Hurley, Sun, Jin, Sayid, Claire, and the possibility that Charlie really didn't die! We will miss Lost dearly.
• Sam survived the scariest moment in both of our lives on the last day of school last spring. His car turned over 3 times, and he was able to go home from the ER after only 7 hours of being monitored for internal injuries. Miraculously, he was able to walk away from an accident that could have drastically injured or killed him.
• My little brother graduated from high school the day after Sam's accident. His DVD highlighting the past four years of high school was presented to the entire graduating class and commencement audience. He did a great job!
• 2 weeks after Sam's accident, we spent 2 weeks in Europe and on the Mediterranean! We went to Spain, France, England, and Italy in a matter of a few days of each other. We ventured to places we'd only ever heard about, ate amazing foods, relaxed on an unforgettable cruise, and saw more statues than we could have imagined.
• We celebrated my 30th birthday in a way I would never want to change. I was surprised by my friends and family before the actual day, then we were at sea on my actual birthday, and we celebrated in a very romantic, emotional evening just glad that we were both together and alive.
• I got to pick out a car of my choosing when we got back from our honeymoon. And, I still love it!
• Although I had surgery right when the school year was starting, I was finally able to put an end to some troublesome issues, and I healed easily and quickly.
• We celebrated our first anniversary by staying at the same hotel in which we got married, exchanged some of the best gifts ever, and ate year-old cake that tasted better a year later than it did on our wedding night.
• I helped to co-captain a team in honor of my mother's survival and to help raise money for Race for the Cure in Dallas. Our team, Saving Second Base, not only had some of the cutest shirts the morning of the race, but we also raised over $10,000 with help from family and friends!
• My best friend allowed me the opportunity to be a matron-of-honor in her wedding. She was the last of my close friends to get married, and we went "all out" that weekend! We had a blast both that night and during all the events (showers, bachelorette parties, dinners) beforehand.
• We were introduced to our newest cousin, Marin! Only a couple months after she was adopted, her parents announced that Marin would be a big sister in June!
• In October, we found out we had finally conceived! After months of trying, we were elated to find out we had a baby on the way. We also got to share our news this calendar year, and we have so much to be thankful for.

So, if I look back at my list and think of all the things that have happened, even the horribly scary things - everything turned out well in the end! Maybe I will eat another black-eyed pea this year. Here's to 2011 being filled with only amazing events and blessings!

The Post I've Been Waiting to Post!!!

I'll cut right to the chase and announce our big news:

We're Pregnant!

We are thrilled...elated...beyond excited to finally share our news with the world! I've been waiting to "blog" about my pregnancy for quite a while - trying to hold off on the writing that comes as a natural outlet for me, which has been exceptionally difficult given that this is the most exciting thing that has happened to me in my entire life and I couldn't share it with people close to me! It's been hard to keep my baby a secret when I am so excited about him/her, yet it's been kind of nice to savor being one of a few people who knew about my little one... at one time, I was the only one who knew about him/her! So, here's how it's been for the past 3+ months...I'll cut to the chase and be quick about my descriptions:

HOW I TOLD MYSELF:
After awaiting my monthly "pal" and not seeing any signs of her any time soon, I woke up very early one Saturday morning after Sam left to go to the dentist. I decided to go ahead and take a test and either go back to bed or begin preparing my "tell plan" if it was positive. So, after a minute or so of staring at a pee stick, there it was, the word I'd been waiting to see: PREGNANT! I just stared at it, elated but in disbelief. I smiled to myself, then climbed back in bed to stare at the stick a little longer. Then, after a few minutes of getting my heart to stop pounding, I got my act together and headed to the store to pick up a few items.

HOW I TOLD SAM:
After running some errands, taking one more pregnancy test, and getting my plan together, Sam met me back at the house to prepare some TX/OU treats for our friends' watching party that afternoon. After what seemed to be the longest (and quite disappointing!) game, it was finally time to implement my long-thought-out plan. I told Sam I needed to run over to my mom's house because I "forgot something there yesterday." He was fine with that since we were so close to her house already. As we got out of the car, I said, "Can I ask you a question?" which was the same question he asked me nearly 2 years ago at the exact same location. "Yeah," he said. "Isn't this where you first told me you loved me?" which was the same question he asked me 2 years ago. "Yeah?" he said with a grin... knowing now what was probably coming. "Isn't this where you asked me to be your wife?" I asked. "Uh huh," he replied. "Well, then, this is where I wanted to be when I asked you if you would be a daddy to our baby," I said as I opened a jewelry box with the two positive pregnancy tests. "Seriously?!" he replied. I nodded, still waiting for a response! :) He just hugged me with small tears in his eyes and the biggest grin ever! Later that evening, we spent hours just talking about our excitement, what it was like to find out this information, how we would share our news, who we would tell, what our fears were, what names we liked, etc. It was quite a night for us!

WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID:
A couple weeks later, we were able to confirm the pregnancy with blood work and 2 different sonograms! We got to see that everything was going well internally and by week 7, we got to see a flickering heartbeat, and we were given a due date, too. By week 12, we got to see how big our baby had grown in a few weeks, got to hear a heartbeat, got to see that everything was measuring well, and got a gender prediction that the doctor says is 95% accurate! No, sorry, not telling that part yet though! We have known some predictions to be wrong, so we're waiting to share that information until later in the pregnancy.

HOW WE TOLD EVERYONE:
Sam and I wanted to wait until we were 12 weeks along before disclosing the baby's existence to everyone. It just so happened, perfectly, that I was 12 weeks on Thanksgiving! At both of our family meals, we went around the table to say what everyone was thankful for. I said I was thankful for my mother's health and my husband's safety (which I am beyond thankful for both!!), and Sam also said something similar - thankful for being alive! After everyone shared their thoughts, we announced! At my mom's house, I said, "I am also thankful that 12 years ago today, Sam and I went on our first date, and 12 is an important number because it's also how many weeks pregnant I am today." At Sam's house, he said, "I am also thankful that we will be adding another summer birthday to our family," (since everyone except his brother-in-law has a summer birthday!). Both families took a few seconds to digest the information before getting so excited and loud! Hugs and kisses were shared, smiles, tears, and questions, too!

Later that evening, we went to my dad's family's meal to join them for dessert and to make our announcement. Dad already knew (I had told him 2 weeks before - he's an OB/GYN, and it was hard not to tell him when I had questions!), and he said he had a plan for how to tell. So, his brilliant plan was to ding his water glass and shout out, "Sammy has an announcement!" Well, if that didn't give it away, nothing else could - but Sam stood up and let everyone know I was pregnant. After that, I invited one of my best friends over to my mom's house "for dessert" - there WAS a lot left over. When she got there, I told her I had a video I wanted her to see. I played the DVD of our sonogram from 2 days before (yes, a DVD of the sonogram...how cool!), and she stared at the baby image on the screen saying, "What's that?... Whose is that? Is that yours?!" I replied, "That's my baby!!" Her response was something like, "Shut up! Really!?" We hugged, we talked, we were so excited!

In the coming days, we emailed our friends and told more family. The following week, I was able to share my news with my coworkers at an after-school faculty meeting. After some routine announcements about work-related items, I said, "I have another exciting announcement! Ms. ___ is expecting twins!" - telling my coworkers about the other pregnant person at my school. Ms. ____ stood up among all the clapping and cheers. She said, "Yes. I'm due in June, on the same day that Amber's baby is due!" Louder cheering followed, as people were not expecting that to be the next announcement! It was a cool idea to be able to share the news for each other and not have to be in the spotlight while saying our own news - both of us are a little shy! :)

OTHER EXCITING NEWS:
When I was about 8 weeks along, my cousin called me at work with some exciting news. She and her husband had been waiting to adopt - waiting to be a match for a birth family. This phone call was to announce that they had finally become the parents they had wanted to be. They had a daughter, a newborn baby girl that they were on their way to go meet! I was thrilled for them! I was so, so happy for their news, and I couldn't wait to meet my newest cousin!! Because the baby was in the NICU for a few weeks, it would take a little while before I would get to meet her. However, she got to come home this past weekend!

The day after my newborn baby cousin got to come home, our family had a Hanukkah party, where the first gift given was from the new mom to her parents. My aunt & uncle opened their gift, a photo album of their new granddaughter's first few weeks of life in the hospital. The last picture was of the baby girl and my cousin holding two signs. One sign displayed how old the baby was that day. The second sign said, "Mommy is 12 weeks today!" Although it took a second to click, I realized what they were telling me/us was that she was pregnant - and only one week behind my due date! Given that this cousin and I are the same age, same grade, went through the same college, same Sunday school, same sorority, etc. together - it was only fitting that we will deliver our babies in the same month! I spent all night trying to wrap my head around the fact that she's going to have an 8 month old baby AND a newborn this summer! So cool!

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Needless to say, this new development in our lives will give me PLENTY to write about! I already have so much to say about the whole pregnancy thing - how others react, how I feel, how different it is to actually experience pregnancy, feeling like a mother already, saying goodbye to my own childhood and my own selfishness, going to the doctor, my changing body, connecting with my baby, maternity clothes, and all that comes with this whole new world! Oh Blog, it's time to unleash more feelings, more insight about the world, more uncensored perspectives!! How fun, right?! Obviously, I will have a LOT more to say in the posts that follow this one... there's so much to finally share, I'm just giving the facts right now. But, for some more emotional reflection, read on:

It's been an interesting past 3+ months - to say the least! Shortly after we knew were were pregnant, we realized a few ironic things about the timing of our little one: we were technically pregnant on our first anniversary, we conceived within the week of the Jewish new year, and we conceived within the same week that Mom finished her cancer treatments. Our baby's due date is within the same week as the anniversary of Sam's "terrifying miracle" accident.

Sam and I are more in love than ever - watching my belly grow, hearing our baby's heartbeat, watching sonograms, planning for our baby's arrival and for our future, being there for each other during mood swings, morning sickness, and worry-sessions, loving each other and what we've created. We can't wait to be parents together, and we are already feeling very parental - worrying about our baby's health and safety and thinking about what we want for him/her. I'm 16 weeks pregnant today, and I pray for a safe, strong, healthy, happy, growing baby! I pray that my body will take care of my baby and know what to do in the coming months. I pray for a healthy pregnancy and a speedy, painless (ha!) delivery! I cannot wait to meet my baby, to get to know him/her, and to share in his/her life!

I want to end this post that I've been waiting to post with this LOUD shout out to my husband. He's taken such good care of me during this time. He's cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, bringing me breakfast in bed so I don't get out of bed with an empty, nauseous tummy, understanding my concerns and worries, allowing me my nap times, complimenting my rounding belly with excitement and sensitivity, helping me pick out new clothes and not complaining about the money, rubbing my back, picking up meals, listening to my complaints, coming to every single doctor's appointment to date, and not rolling his eyes when he hears "Will you do me a favor?" for the 100th time each day! Sam is an amazing man, and he's already an amazing dad! He cares so much for our baby, he's so excited about him/her! He doesn't want to miss a thing - and I don't want him to! THANK YOU, SAM, for everything- but most importantly, for the opportunity to be pregnant and to be expecting a baby that is both yours and mine! I love you!