Endings

In my world, May marks the end of many things. In some ways, it more of an ending to a year than December. For me, it's the end of a long school year - the most fun part of a cycle that I participate in each year. I really don't know what it's like for other people in other jobs, so maybe it's the same for others. But, I don't know anything different, as I've been in the school system since I was in preschool myself. You start in August/September, you look forward to Thanksgiving, count down to Winter Break, enjoy a couple weeks off, go back in January for the long spring semester just hoping to make it without losing your mind until Spring Break, and the final end is in sight by April with an exciting countdown in May. It's a predictable cycle - and each time of the year comes with highs and lows unlike any other time of year.

We all remember what this time of year was like when we were younger: getting ready to say goodbye to our friends for the summer, heading to something fun like summer camp or a family vacation, worrying about what the next grade level will be like, wondering if our teacher will remember us and all the fun times we had together, glad that all the hard work we put into that year had finally paid off, cleaning out the desk/locker, checking our books back in, getting to finally throw away the now-tattered-and-torn folders and supplies that were once so fresh and new months ago. . . Well, it's similar for the adults in the school: we're ready for kids to leave so we can clean up, we're ready to be done with grading and report cards and conferences, we look back on a job-well-done year and are anxious about the year to come, we're looking forward to the lazy days of stress-free summer nights with friends and family.

And, while all of this ending is happening, there are other endings that are a bit more superficial but worth mourning just a little: the television shows that helped us get through the year. I know, I'm being a bit petty with something so meaningless as television, but let's be honest - don't you just look forward to a great show at the end of a stressful work day? Don't you just make it through to the next week sometimes - only to see your favorite show and what will happen next? Well, I do. I love cuddling up with Sam on the couch to watch our favorite shows that take our minds off of work and anything else that stresses us out, and May marks the end of many of these favorites. Luckily, many of them will be back on in September, but for one show in particular, we will be lost without it once the final episode airs next week.

Lost is Sam's all-time favorite show. He will certainly be devastated next week when it's finally over. He has watched it from the beginning. Because I didn't want to get hooked on another show, I refused to watch it. Well, about 2 years ago, when Sam had moved in and was studying for the bar exam, I finally caved. I decided that while he was studying, I'd give the first season a shot, so we rented the DVDs of Season 1, and as I expected, I was totally into it. Season 3 tested my loyalty when I was completely annoyed at the story. I watched 3 seasons that summer, then I had to wait a few months before Season 4 was released. I watched Season 4 over Winter Break last year, and together we watched Season 5 as it aired last year. We rewatched every season again this past Winter Break when I was sick and prepared for the final season. The show has given us a lot to talk about as we try to unravel the plot and guess what might happen next. I'm glad I decided to watch it, but now I'm sad that our time with our "friends" is ending. We've gone on quite a journey with these people as we learned to like even the darkest, meanest characters.

It reminds me of when The Cosby Show and Friends ended. Even other great shows like Seinfeld, Sisters, Family Ties, ER, Growing Pains, Dawson's Creek, and Sex & the City - I remember their endings marking the end of some kind of "era." And now, another show has left its mark.

Another ending we're experiencing this week is the end of my sister-in-law's pregnancy. We're going to meet our nephew this week, and we are very excited. But, this particular ending marks the end of her first-born's time as an only child, as the only grandchild. For some reason, I get sad around the time a new baby is born. Even though it's the most amazing beginning, it's a time to reflect on what life without this person has been and how life will change when the baby is born. When my niece, Mara, was born, I remember her mother leaving my nephew, Caden, before she went to the hospital to give birth. She told Caden how much she loved him and how this new baby would never change how special Caden was to her. We cried a little, recognizing that this new baby would change Caden's life forever - she would change all of our lives. Well, I feel the same way about our nephew, Miles. This will be a new start for him, and he needs to know that we will all still love him just as much as ever. The new baby ends the time he has had without a little brother.

Sometimes, endings are to be celebrated and enjoyed. We embrace those endings. Sometimes, endings are sad and are a time for reflection. Some endings are bittersweet and we can't make up our minds how we feel about them. Sometimes we don't want the end to come because of what might be on the other side or the anxiety it may cause. But, endings are inevitable and life must go on - before it ends.

A Married Social Life

I know it's been a while since I last posted, but quite honestly, there's been nothing entirely new to write about. Our life has been more of the same - at least more of the same constant busy-ness: work, helping with nephews and niece, cooking for Mom, running errands, cleaning the house, working in the yard, weddings, baby showers, visits to Houston, bachelor/bachelorette parties, bridal showers, giving gifts, keeping Mom company, celebrating Mother's Day, celebrating brother's birthday, catching up on our shows, working unpaid overtime hours, trying new recipes, grocery shopping, waiting for our nephew to be born, counting down til summer break, etc! So, there's really been nothing more to write about. . . until today.

So, we had a meeting at work today, where a few of us were gathered to try to plan an end-of-school year surprise for our students. While meeting, we discussed what dates we could meet together to finalize our plans. Looking at my calendar, I began to get overwhelmed by the busy work schedule, the family obligations, and the social commitments. Work is coming to a slow halt soon - but there's SO much to be done before the kids officially leave for summer break. Mom is doing great - but she has her difficult days/nights and can still need help with the house, the kids, the meals. Sam and I are constantly busy with friends, family, and trying to make time for each other. I started panicking a little just at the upcoming weeks, and I made a comment about this feeling. . . something like, "I'm just feeling overwhelmed at everything going on right now." I went on to talk about the social and familial calendar filling up and how others are probably feeling that way, too. A coworker joked with another coworker saying, "And YOU'RE married!" It is a tone that is hard to convey over a posting like this, but it seemed to imply that a married person wouldn't possibly be as busy as a non-married person. I don't think I was reading into it incorrectly, as a different coworker agreed with my interpretation.

It got me thinking, though. . . . well, doesn't EVERYTHING get me thinking?! Anyway, I started realizing that I am often overwhelmed by how my social life increased by leaps and bounds since I got married. It's somewhat naive to think that a person who gets married will "settle down" when, in fact, things have really "picked up" since "I do." Well... before that really, but you get the point.

Since Sam and I started living together, we had a LOT more friends to spend our time with: mine AND his. We have three different sides of the family now: Mom's, Dad's, and Sam's. I not only get invited to MY friends' weddings, showers, parties, but I get invited to HIS friends' weddings, showers, parties. If I get invited to a Bar Mitzvah - that means SAM gets invited to a Bar Mitzvah. We are an "us" now - we have OUR friends and family - which at the very least doubled the events in which we each participate.

Don't get me wrong! I LOVE our friends and family and every second we spend with them all! Time flies by so quickly, though, and before we know it - weeks have flown by and we have had no time to ourselves. We're helping Mom, we're taking care of the kids, we're at a Couple's Night, we're at a shower, we're spending weekends apart helping different friends celebrate different events, we're cooking dinner with the family, we're getting ready for a high school graduation, and so on. Again - NOT COMPLAINING! I'm just trying to make the point that for someone to think that being married means I've "settled down," is beyond misinformed.

I remember when Sam moved home and we had 3 big events in one weekend. I remember saying to him, "Our lives just got way busier!" I loved having so many functions and parties. I loved spending time with friends and family so often and in different venues. It's just a lot - especially for someone who savors alone time - time to rejuvenate and just reflect on life either alone or just with Sam. When my life continues to be so busy, I do tend to get overwhelmed - needing time alone to gather my thoughts. I can't forget that I'm an individual - an individual who needs "me" time, or at least some kind of down time.

So, in closing, I guess my point is that I've learned yet another societal misconception. The world has it wrong when married people are thought of as having slowed down or settled down. Married life is booming with social interaction. Always, I feel fortunate. Most often, it's fun and entertaining. Sometimes, it's overwhelming. Yet, never, would I want it any other way.