Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho!

"It's off to work I go!"

Oh, it's the persistent, nagging question in my head since Banner was in utero: to work or not to work? Some parents know right away, and it's never a consideration to do the alternative. Some parents have an idea, and then that baby comes along and changes everything. I've heard moms say, "I could never be a stay-at-home mom," while others insist, "I could never be a working mom." Still others say, "I thought I'd keep working until I just couldn't imagine leaving him." But me? I am pulled in both directions, and I always have been. I know I can be happy doing either - and miserable doing either. So, where is the balance? How do I choose? How can I do both?

The answer for me is: part-time work. It's the best of both worlds. And, I am ecstatically pleased to announce that I've found the perfect-for-me part-time position! The timing could not have been more perfect! The communities, the staff, the location, the job description, the set-up, the leadership... none of it could be more perfect! (Side note: I hate the "more perfect" phrase. If something is perfect, it literally could not be more so - but it gets my point across perfectly well, so I'm going to use it here!)

This current school year began with the opportunity to join my good friend at her new school where she was just beginning her new job as the assistant principal. The school counselor position was open at the beginning of the year, but I was not willing to take the full-time position. I just wasn't ready to return to work with Quinn only 11-months old. But, then the option was available to job-share with another counselor as a substitute counselor throughout the semester. I decided to try it out and see how I liked the whole part-time scene. At first it was a lot, just getting used to the schedule and working around Quinn's naps, the whole "getting out of the house" thing, having to leave the house before Banner was even awake for the day, or asking my mom to keep Quinn for so long, but eventually, we got into a groove and it worked nicely! Then, in December, my job-sharing partner and I were asked if we would take our gig to a different school where the counselor retired in the middle of the school year. We agreed, and it has worked out really well!

I am so thankful to my friend who called me at the beginning of the year to offer this unique opportunity to take on a part-time job and test it out temporarily. Had it not been for this school year's experiences, I don't think I would be mentally prepared for going back to work next year, and financially, I really need to be working! Quinn has benefitted, too, as he's been able to spend time away from me and realize that I DO come back! :)  He's been able to have some special time with both Levi and with Grandma, and for that I am so fortunate!

As the school year has continued, I've had to decide what to do next school year. Sure, working full time would be ideal financially, but I'm just not ready to be away from my babies all day every day. There was a fabulous full-time opportunity that came my way, but I was dragging my feet from accepting it. It made my tummy turn just thinking of Banner - and especially Quinn at such a young age - being in daycare all day, every day. There will be plenty of time for them to be in school ALL day, every day in the years to come. And, while I know they would be fine and lots of kids spend most of their days in preschool/daycare and are perfectly happy, it just didn't sit right for ME or for MY family. So, I waited it out. . . and waited it out. . . and waited it out.

And, man, am I so glad I did! Two weeks ago, I got a call from my previous principal telling me that the 6th grade part-time counselor position at her school and the neighboring school was open if I wanted to consider that as an option. And, my adrenaline was probably off the charts! I was super-excited! (And, I couldn't have been more annoyed that Sam didn't answer the multiple calls I made to him immediately following my talk with the principal!) The following day, I went in to talk about the position, and both principals agreed to hire me that day!

When Quinn woke up from his nap that afternoon, I went in to his room and hugged him with a great calm about me. I thought to myself, "We're gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay." Mostly, it was a relief to know that I wouldn't have to rush him into a program I wasn't ready for him to be in. I was relieved to know what I will be doing next year - that I can work AND I can stay at home.

And, it's the most excited I've been in a long time about the idea of "going back to work." I was giddy and smiley when Sam came home from work. I pointed to my own big grin and excited eyes and said, "This is the face you've been waiting to see, right?! The face that tells you I am so excited about this decision!" He hugged me tightly and said, "Absolutely!"  I feel so peaceful with this decision for my family, and I'm SO excited about what I'll actually be doing! It's beyond perfect! So, let me tell you about THAT! I'll be at amazing schools - schools I consider "home" to me and my family. I'll be working with former colleagues at both campuses. I'll be working with 6th graders - my favorite! I'll be counseling and doing guidance lessons and helping kids get ready for junior high and making a difference in kids' lives. . .  it really is going to be amazing!

So, come August, I will be a "working mom" again - and I'll be a bit of a "stay-at-home mom" still. It's the best of both worlds, and that makes me one very happy mama!

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