Journey to the Knot: Levi Emmett

A year ago today, my littlest nephew was born. I never wrote about his birth or his entrance into the world, but I remember wanting to every day. At the time, I just wanted to be in the moment with my sister, to spend time with her at the hospital, and to do what I could to keep my kids out of my mom's way so Grandma could help the new parents and bond with her new grandson. I remember being overwhelmed at that time because Quinn, at 5 months old, was still very much a handful and so was my 2 and a half year old Banner. I was a substitute teacher who used my time at my former place of employment to get away and "have a day off!" When those days were gone, I guess I collapsed a little - or at last keeping up with my blog did!

But, the joy of a new baby in the family was amazing! I was ecstatic to have another nephew, that Quinn would have another cousin so close in age, that my sister would get to experience motherhood with me - yet another thing we could share together. So, I want to write about my sweet nephew on this day, his birthday - better a year late than never!

I remember his birthday - well, my point-of-view - clearly. It was about 5:30am. My boys were still asleep. When I saw my cell phone light up with Mom's name on it, I knew it was "go" time. Mom's voice was excited, and I could tell she was in a hurry to get to the hospital. She told me what had happened so far - the sudden labor Kira went into, the water breaking, walking the hallway at her house, not knowing if she should call someone or not, packing her things while having major labor pains, the way Mom could hear Kira in the background of Erick's phone call. Mom told me she'd let me know what to do next; she knew Kira wanted me to be on standby to come up to the hospital during labor. I hung up and Sam knew exactly what was happening. Neither of us slept from that moment on. We were excited, anxious, nervous, and prayerful for Kira and Erick. We chit-chatted in the few minutes before the boys woke up about parenthood and how life for my sister and her husband was about to change. We reminisced about our boys' births. And, then, the boys woke up and I tried to focus on them. Then, suddenly, my phone rang again. Kira said, "Hello, Aunt Amber!"

I was totally taken by surprised, to be honest. It had only been maybe a little over an hour since Mom called - and I wasn't supposed to know that Kira was even in labor or at the hospital (or tell that Mom had already called me), so I didn't know what to say!! "Hi, Aunt Kira," I replied, not thinking to say "Mommy!" to the new mother. "I'm holding your nephew!" she said proudly.

"What?!? Wait, what?! It's a boy? You had him? What?!" I was thoroughly confused.

"It's a boy!" Kira said. And, she proceeded to tell me a very brief version of her very brief, unmedicated, water birth. But, she wouldn't tell me a name until I got to the hospital. So, I got off the phone with her very quickly, tried to get myself and the boys ready as fast as I could... to wait. We weren't supposed to go to the hospital just yet. So, we waited, and waited.... and then finally, we headed to the hospital.

I arrived with my toddler, my infant, lots of snacks, toys, and diapers all in my big buggie of a double stroller. As I maneuvered through the hospital door, I saw my mom, my dad, my brother-in-law, a little bundle of a nugget nephew, and my little sister sitting up looking gorgeous as ever as if no pain had touched her. I can't remember exactly how she introduced us, but it was in those next few moments that I first laid eyes on Levi Emmett. He was so little, so yummy, so beautiful.

And, a year later, he still is. Levi's smile lights up the room. He's sweet and smart and sensitive. When I think back throughout the year, a few things pop into my mind. I have a favorite memory of playing with my boys when Levi was a newborn. We were playing at Mom's house, and all 4 of us (Banner, Quinn, Levi, and me) had our heads on the little play mat. I remember wanting to bottle that moment up before these little boys are big and running all over the place (and that's already happening now!) or before they are grown teenagers who never give me the time of day anymore. I remember going over to Kira's house when Erick and Mom were both out of town. Levi was about 6-7 weeks old. I remember Levi's little legs barely touching the onesie he wore because it swallowed his little body. I remember Kira feeling overwhelmed at new motherhood as I teared up listening to her - knowing full well what she was experiencing, but also knowing how months from that moment she would miss her itty-bitty baby and how very much I missed my Quinn being so little and fragile. I remember aching for the days when my boys were so little and just wanting to soak up my nephew at this little but mighty stage. I've also been able to watch Levi hit big milestones - not necessarily for the first time - but I can still remember him rolling over for the first few times, as we cheered him on "Go! Go! Go, Levi!" or watching him take his first few steps or try a new food.

I've enjoyed watching Levi become Quinn's best friend. Those two play so well next to each other, sharing space and toys and giggles. Rolling balls to each other, reaching around each other, discovering new things along side each other. Quinn will hear Levi waking up from a nap and want to go into his room at Grandma's to get him up. He's learned to gently (and sometimes not-so-gently) pat Levi on the head... and Quinn has learned that Levi can dish it out, too. They color, chase, picnic, make messes together. I know the coming months will introduce new challenges to these boys as they want new things and have different ideas of what is fun or what is "theirs," but they seem to truly love and really like each other, and I hope that is always the case!

I am grateful for Levi and the joy he's brought my sister. I love that he made her a mommy, a role I knew she always wanted and would be good at. She's not just good, though. She's amazing, and I am so very proud of her. I know this year has been challenging and trying. What first year isn't? Her initiation into motherhood was like most moms - tiring, exhausting, grueling, worrisome, heart wrenching, yet all beautiful and joyful and magical. I know she's looking back at this first year with nostalgia, a yearning to go back to those first few minutes with her baby boy who she can still see so clearly in her mind. I know she wishes she could do a few things differently - maybe embrace the time more or take it all in better or stop the worrying. We spoke this evening about this and the irony of it all: she wishes she could redo Levi's birth and slow it down a bit . . . I wish I could redo Banner's birth and change my perspective of things at that time when nothing went my way. We both had very different birth stories, yet we both want to change something about it or the way we perceived it. But, our stories are beautiful the way they are - because both of us have these gorgeous, healthy babies. And, just like motherhood, you're always going to want to do it again - do it better, do it right, do it over again because it was amazing.

So, on this first BIRTHday, I wish my sister peace and happiness as she looks back at a year filled with love, learning, milestones, growth, change, and complete success! I wish Levi many, many, many more birthdays. And as he enters this second year of life, I wish him love, happiness, and health always! Happy Birthday, Levi Emmett!