Anyway, the day was just so amazing, and I want to have this letter we read aloud to Quinn at the ceremony for always, so here it is - in my blog. (You can read about Banner's naming back here.) But, before I post that document here, I just want to thank my mom, my step-dad, my father-in-law, my friends and family who attended, the rabbi, and Banner and Sam for making this day so special for me, and more importantly, for Quinn who will hear all about it one day! We are ALL so blessed...
Dear Quinn,
A: Today is a very special day. We are here in this
room filled with family and friends who have loved you since before you were
born. Right now, you may or may not be able to feel how much joy they feel in
knowing you, but one day, we hope you know just how loved and wanted you are! Like
I told Banner at his naming, you have an emotional mommy – and an emotional
daddy – and we may both already be crying. So, bear with us as we share some
very deep thoughts we’ve wanted to share with you for a long time.
S: Many people in this very room have asked us about
the meaning of your name and how we finally chose it. We’ve waited until today
to share that with them because we haven’t even really told YOU about it. We
think you should know first, but we’ll go ahead and let them in on it while
we’re at it. Mommy and I think it’s a pretty cool name, and we certainly hope
you like it since we put quite a bit of thought into it.
S: The definition of your first name, “Quinn,” means
several things. First and most importantly, it is a tribute to Terry O’Quinn,
an actor who starred as “John Locke” in the greatest television show ever created–
Lost. . . .
A: Okay, you got your “Lost” reference in… Quinn means
“fifth.” You are only the fourth member of our immediate family, but Quinn is
perfect for you when we look a little deeper. You are the fifth living male J___.
There’s Papaw, Zaide, Daddy, Banner, and you. You are the fifth
great-grandchild of Daddy’s Bubbie & Zaide. There’s Miles, Colby, Bailey,
Banner, and now you. And, you are also the fifth grandson to my mom and dad –
your Grandma and Big Boss. There’s Caden, Banner, Brycen, Nami, and you, Quinn.
A: Your first name is also a derivative of a surname
meaning wisdom, intelligence, or reason. We have also seen that it means “free
man” and “counsel.” We liked this name for you because we hope you will always
remain free – from both a physical and intellectual perspective. Our sincere
wish is that you will always seek wisdom and reason in how you treat others and
in how you perceive and influence the world around you. Our people have endured
and survived millennia of persecution in which our freedom to act and freedom
to think were restricted. We wish for you the wisdom and ability to carry on
the torch of perseverance. We also liked that “counsel” is another meaning of
your name, as daddy and I are both counselors. Before your brother was born, I
spent years as a school counselor helping families at Bowie Elementary School.
Daddy is an attorney and counselor at
law, a job that requires not only legal knowledge but also the skills to read
people and help guide his clients through trying times. We wish for you the
ability to help counsel others through offering your kind thoughts, your
empathy and your compassion.
S: The definition of your middle name, “Redding” is
son of the red-haired. While I can grow a reddish beard, and I’m known for
having a red face most of the time, we did not choose this name for you because
of it’s meaning. Ellis Boyd Redding, or “Red,” is a character from my all-time
favorite movie, The Shawshank Redemption.
This movie is a story about the pursuit of justice, the beauty of true friendship,
and most of all – the power and importance of hope. In the movie, Red is a
source of friendship, experience and – touching back on your first name –
wisdom. And although he was the character who was the most self-aware, he was
able to learn in the film that hope is something we should always keep, always
seeing it on the horizon, even when its already in our grasp. We hope for you
that you, too, will know who you are, seek and distribute wisdom when you are
able, and always have hope for a joyful and prosperous life.
A: You also have a Hebrew name, Matan Lev. These names
were chosen for you by your dad and by me to honor the memory of two very
special people in our lives. Because you won’t get to meet these special
members of our family, we want to tell you about them now and let you know how
you came to get this special Hebrew name.
A: My grandfather, Manny, your great-grandfather,
was a giver. Every memory I have of my Grandpa involves some kind of gift. Yes,
the first thing most people think of is the gift of money or tangible gifts –
and definitely Grandpa gave those things, from establishing trust funds when
his grandkids were born to bringing us candy when he’d pick us from school to
paying for us to travel to Israel as teenagers. Grandpa valued money, and he
wanted us to save it well and spend it well.
When I was only 13, he taught me about stocks and bonds and how to read
the newspaper to see if my investments had paid off. When I bought my first
house (which is also your first house), it was with the money in the fund
Grandpa had started for me. So, yes, there are plenty of memories of money and
“things” when it came to my generous Grandpa.
But, most of my memories are of the deeper gifts – the
gifts of humor, of music, of commitment, of devotion, of dedication, of
strength, of knowledge, of love. He used to say that we “grew up together,”
because he was such a big part of my childhood, and he was the grandparent I
had in my life the longest. I have such fun memories of him. Grandpa was always
telling jokes, always singing a song, always shaking his hand to do a little
dance. My grandpa always opened his home to us, allowing my friends over for
loud swim parties or for aerobics lessons with Aunt Karen at sleepovers. He
gave of his time – always visiting my Granny nearly daily for years when she
was in the nursing home. He gave us values – teaching Judaism, encouraging
education, and instilling love of family – and of course, how to eat tons of
chocolate but then work it off at the next morning’s early workout. He gave
advice – always telling me what a gift learning to play the piano would be,
hounding me when my gas light would be on in my car when I’d pick him up and
drive him somewhere, and annoying me by telling me how he wanted me to wear my
hair. And, Grandpa always gave the gift
of loyalty – to both Granny and then to his long-distance girlfriend, Dora, but
also to my mother. He took your Grandma in as if she were his own daughter,
helped her when she needed it, and always maintained his relationship with her.
I knew my Grandpa loved me and was proud of me
– he celebrated my marriage to Daddy at my wedding, he loved that I was
working as a school counselor at the same school he used to pick me up at twice
a week – which he thought was too cool, and he knew I loved my family with a
deep passion the same way he did. He was a giver, a provider, a nurturer, a
teacher, a fighter.
Quinn, your Hebrew name, Matan, is in memory of my
Grandpa, and it means “giver” or “gift-giving.” In these short couple of months
we’ve gotten to know you, you are already such a giver. You have given us so
much love and brought so much joy to our hearts. You love to be held and
cuddled, you smile and coo, you gaze into our eyes intensely and with curiosity,
and you pee on us daily. You bring smiles to Banner’s face every day – which is
a gift to him and to us. Daddy and I love to watch you two interact. There is
so much love and admiration there already! To me, you are a gift every day, a
gift that keeps unwrapping and unraveling to reveal more of you. You keep
changing and growing, our bond gets even stronger, and you brighten our days
even more. So, yes, you are named after my giving Grandpa, and the name already
suits you!
S: Quinn –
your second Hebrew name is in honor of your Bubbie, my mom, Leslie. I
never expected that one of my own children would be named for her, but
unfortunately your Bubbie had to leave before she ever got to meet you. I’m
going to take a few moments to tell you a little bit about this amazing woman
for whom you are, in part, named. As Banner will confirm, though, I’ll spend
the rest of my life telling you many more stories about this woman who even
still loves you so very much.
Your Bubbie was many things to
many people. I think that her most important quality that allowed her to fill
so many roles so well was her greatest quality: her endless capacity to love.
Sometimes it was in the way of advice, sometimes by way of a hug. She may have
handed it out with a quick phone call, or with a 27-minute voicemail. Other
times it was a gesture of a favor, of a snack for the road, or her secret stash
of $50 as you’re heading back to Austin. But no matter how she was giving away
her love to her friends, family and to people she barely knew, she did it
unconditionally, wholeheartedly and never expected anything in return. After I
moved home from law school, I enjoyed being able to go see Bubbie and Zaide
without having to make a 4-hour drive to get there. Every time I can think of
that I left their house, Bubbie would stand on the front porch and, after I
told her I loved her, she would proudly shout: “I love you more.” Admittedly, I
sometimes thought to myself she was being immature. Maybe she was, maybe she
wasn’t. What I didn’t know at the time, though, was that as much as I loved
her, she was right. I wasn’t a parent yet, and couldn’t really understand the
gutwrenching, universal love a parent has for his or her child. It is only
through my eyes as yours and Banner’s daddy that I have finally been able to
appreciate what she was saying. She wasn’t necessarily telling me she loved me
more than I loved her; I think she was telling me she loved me more than
anything else in the whole world, that however much love you could have for a
person, she had more than that much for me.
Your other Hebrew name, Lev, is in memory of my mom,
your Bubbie. It means “heart” or “love” in Hebrew, and I hope that you will
have the same capacity to love and be loved as your Bubbie did. I hope that,
like your Bubbie, you carry love with you everywhere you go, and that you share
it with the world around you, brightening your friends and family’s lives with
its brilliance. I hope you know how to accept love in all of its forms and that
it warms your heart every day of your life. I hope you always know that, no
matter how much love you give and take, looking at the sum total of it all,
your mom and I love you more.
A: Quinn, Daddy and I have so
many hopes and dreams for you already. We hope you like your name and that you
come to feel proud of it when you hear it – and later say it. We hope you love
your family and can always feel wanted, accepted, loved, and nurtured by us. We
hope you are eager to learn about the world and about other people. We want you
to enjoy your friends, be okay with making mistakes, enjoy delicious food,
appreciate music and art, believe in yourself, find love, recognize how blessed
you are to be surrounded by an abundance of family and friends, know how to
relax and enjoy yourself, value education, know how to take care of your body
and your mind, respect others and their opinions, and find strength from within
yourself.
S: We hope you will appreciate where you came from,
know your family history and heritage, and respect those who came before you.
And, we hope you come to know, trust, and love yourself. We want so many things
for you, Quinn, but mostly, we want you to be happy, healthy, and full of love!
We love you,
Mommy & Daddy
November 10, 2013
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