Big Day

My little sister and my little brother share the same birthday but 9 years apart. She turned 30 today. He turned 21. A big day. It's a day they've both been ready to celebrate. But, last night I got news that my grandfather was not doing well. Dad said if we wanted to say our goodbyes, we needed to get up to the nursing home in the next couple of days. So, last night, I had plans to leave work today as soon as possible so that I could make it to the home and still go out for the birthday dinner. Mom had Banner up from his nap, changed his diaper, and grabbed a bottle. As we were putting Banner in the car, Mom got a call from the birthday girl saying that Grandpa had just passed away.

We were still 30 minutes away. If we had left 30 minutes earlier, we might have made it in time to say our goodbyes before he stopped breathing. But, since Grandpa's health has been deteriorating for a while now, every time I have left the home I say my goodbyes - not knowing if I'd see him again. Today, I arrived knowing that he would never see me or Banner again. I arrived knowing this was the last time I would see my Grandpa, but I still got to whisper "I love you" in his ear.

Kira told us that she was alone with Grandpa when he died. She was with him, singing a favorite Gershwin song "Someone to Watch Over Me," when she felt him slip away. Hospice had just been in the room to check Grandpa, and they anticipated a couple more days, so they were shocked when 30 minutes later, Kira asked them to check him, saying that his breaths had stopped and she didn't feel a heartbeat. Kira just knew. Something told her to sing. Something told her to stay with him. Something told her he was gone.

What a birthday, right? In some weird way, though, I think Grandpa gave her the most beautiful gift. She will remember that moment forever - that she could be the one to sing to him as his beautiful life ended. Maybe that's what he was waiting for. He loved to sing; he loved music; he loved his family. Maybe he just needed that, needed her. Personally, I am so relieved to know he wasn't alone. I am so relieved that she could help ease any pain or discomfort or fear. What a mitzvah (good deed) she did for him, the last one anyone could do for him before he died. I hope she knows how proud of her I am. I hope she knows how special that is. As awful as it is to lose your last living grandparent, alone, on your birthday, your 30th birthday!, I think it's a beautiful moment that she can take with her forever.

May 21st. Kira's birthday. Trey's birthday. Grandpa's last day. It's been a big day.

Here's a link to a post I wrote a couple of years ago when Grandpa's health started to decline.