You've Got to Have Friends

Once upon a time, my friend, Gretchen, told me about a woman she worked with. She told me that this lady was pregnant and due around the same time I was - in early June. She told me she was going to give me her number and that we should go to lunch or something one day. Of course, I told Gretchen that it sounded nice, but I remember thinking the last thing I had time for or wanted to do was go on a "blind date" with a woman I never met just because she happened to have conceived around the same time I did. Months passed and, soon, this woman and I who had never met each other started emailing each other. I don't remember who emailed whom first, but that part doesn't matter. What matters is, Gretchen was right. I should have met this person. The words in her emails could have been my own. We wrote about how we were feeling and the worries we were having. Her emails that I would receive throughout the time when I was getting bigger, more anxious about becoming a parent, and more curious about what was happening inside my body came at the perfect time. She provided an outlet for me when no one else was experiencing exactly what I was going through.

About a month before we were due, I met this woman, who we will call "Randi," (okay, yes, that's her real name - but she's okay with me writing that). We got to schmooze and vent, reflect and project, worry and find understanding. It was around that time that we also started texting, and pretty much since that time, we text on a daily basis. Our texts are hilarious, really. There have been times it sounds like we are lovers, there are times it sounds like we should both be institutionalized, and there are times you can hear our tears through the texts. Both of our families are beyond thankful that Randi and I have each other to talk/text to. We encourage each other, and we give each other strength by knowing we are not alone.

Our babies were born two days apart, both born via C-section. Her daughter is two days older than Banner, and while they are both reaching different milestones on their own time, the feelings and thoughts we share with each other are very similar. I could not have made it without Randi in my life. She is the sounding board I wish all new moms could have. Yes, I have best friends, and yes, I have the most amazing mother anyone could ask for. God bless all those people in my life for being there for me whenever I need them. But, having a new mom go through all the new-mom-stuff at the exact same time with me, without competition... that is someone to be thankful for! We cover any and all topics, and nothing (and I mean NOTHING!) is off-limits, including (but certainly not limited to): our husbands, recovery from surgery, our attempts at breastfeeding, schedules, teething, when babies are sick, our periods, best baby toys, techniques for feeding/changing/bathing/entertaining baby, napping and sleeping - both us and our kids!, poop, double chins and misshaped heads, working vs. staying-at-home, why our incisions are still bugging us, getting out of the house, meeting milestones and wondering if our babies are okay, freaking out about everything, sex life, our hair (or lack thereof), our memories (or lack thereof), videos and pictures of our kids doing funny, frustrating, or new things, and when we might try to have a second baby, and how we will handle it if we don't conceive baby #2 at the same time... ah!

We are both absolutely insane. We are both anxious control freaks with no control over much of anything in this new stage in our lives, so to find a friend who is in the same boat as me, having the same feelings as me is so wonderful. Randi is hilarious and has a quick wit, which I love. The best is getting her texts at work, especially in the middle of an important yet boring meeting. I may see my phone light up with, "E's up, and she's pissed!" or "I don't think I'll be sleeping for years. Like at least 18 of them," or "Was B's belly okay after the magazine-eating-shenanigans?" or "She laughed when I put the thermometer up her butt." It's just random conversation that we continue to have each and every day.

We have watched each others' babies grow up, develop, learn, become social, and deal with their crazy mommies! It's such a joy to watch her daughter grow up with Banner. I am so glad Gretchen introduced us! It's so nice to have someone to check-in with and find out more about how she's doing, with a true, genuine, non-competitive attitude. There's no jealousy, no trying to "one-up" each other, and no games - just pure, honest, uncensored friendship.  I also owe a big thank-you to "Randi" for putting up with me, for enjoying time with Banner, for being my friend, for being my sounding-board,  and for being right there with me when "9 months later...we are still a mess!"