Wednesday, November 13, 2024

SUKKOT SHENANIGANS 2024

After a week (and a few days) in the Sukkah, we finished taking it down yesterday. Another year of memories and fun times doing our silly stuff out there. This year, we had a hard time narrowing down our list of themes - so whatever didn't make the cut this year, we will likely see next year! The boys are always thinking of new ideas, year-round! My list grows constantly, and then it's hard to make the final selections around the end of July-ish when we vote on which ones we think are best for this year or are most excited about. The winners for this year: Marvel, The Beatles, Squid Game, Get Out the Vote, Israel, Ted Lasso, and Glee. Here's what it looked like!

Marvel Sukkah!

The boys invited some friends (Landon, Jack, Myles, Haden Reid, Nathan, Clark) to join us on this first night. They came up with the theme and many of the food ideas: Thor’s hammers, Iron Man tray, Groot Beer, Fanta-stic Four, The Daily Bugles, Ant-Man on a Log, Infinity Stones, Avengers Pizza, and a Captain America cookie cake. It was simply “marvel-ous!!”

The Beatles Sukkah!

We got to “Come Together” with BeeBee, Zaide, NaNa, and Colby for an incredible evening of songs and fun food! Quinn gave the most “Help!” prepping our Let it B-L-T Bites, Yellow Submarines, and Strawberry Fields. We also enjoyed Penne Lane, Veggies and Dip-la-Dee, Dip-La-Da, Jello Goodbye, Sgt Dr. Pepper, Love Me Dew, and so much more! Sam won the Emoji Song Title competition, and we completed the evening by watching Yesterday.

Squid Game Sukkah

We had a very full, very loud sukkah this evening with cousins and friends. We ate Red Light Green Light Salad, “squiddlers,” savory Turn Overs (as in “your turn’s over”), Tug of War Ropes, rice, corn, and Dalgona cookies before competing in Tug of War, Red Light Green Light, Dalgona, and Glass Bridge. Thank you to the grown ups who helped judge, lead, and “eliminate” players.


Get Out the Vote Sukkah

With less than 34 hours to go before EARLY VOTING begins in Texas, we did everything we could to DO SOMETHING! Grandma, Papa, Aunt Jacque, and Uncle Freddy joined us for a dinner filled with reminders about voting. We had “High Stakes for the United Steaks of America,” Campaign Trail Mix, We the Peaple, zucchini votes, “Eggs-ercise Your Right to Vote,” “Donut Forget to Vote,” AmendMINTS, Bill of Rice, LiberTEA, Cheese Block Walk, Let Freedom Ring, and Churn Out the Vote. We helped write postcards to help turn out the vote across Texas and for our friend, Texas State Representative Mihaela Plesa’s, re-election in HD-70! Then, our guests left with yard signs. Finally, I introduced the boys to one of my favorite movies, Iron Jawed Angels, which reminds us of how lucky we are to GET to vote!

Israel Sukkah

We hosted an Israel-themed dinner with our friends (and Sam’s co-workers), the Friedmans and the Gottliebs. I loved watching my three big kids play with the little ones. I enjoyed conversation and catching up with friends. It’s been a hard year for Israel and for Jews everywhere. When Jewish people across the world celebrated Sukkot last year, we couldn’t have fathomed what was about to take place in Israel. This Sukkot, so many families are missing someone (or many more). With pain in our hearts, we remember them. We pray for the prompt, safe return of the hostages. But with pride in our hearts, we move forward. We are still here and persist and thrive. As Rabbi Stern said in his Kol Nidre sermon, “… in the face of such overwhelming darkness, we insisted on life…. We are more than shattered fragments… We insist on the whole tablets alongside the broken.”

Ted Lasso Sukkah!

What a fun night with Robin, Kevin, Keaton, Mischelle, Brycen, Nami, Hayla, and Jillian celebrating all things Lasso! If you haven’t seen Ted Lasso, you’re missing out! If you have, you’ll probably know why we had all these foods: goldfish, Biscuits with the Boss, an open jar of peanut butter on the counter, kebabs, fish and chips, brown water (tea), sparkling water, Diamond Dogs (ironically, I unintentionally got Nathan’s brand hot dogs)- with Wonder Kid buns, Jamie (Pop) Tartts, and a big “WHISTLE!!” It was, in the words of Roy Kent, “FU…..NNNN!”


Glee Sukkah!

Our big finale to this year's week of fun, family, friends, and food was a Glee-themed evening. The boys started watching the show this summer, and they’re nearly halfway through season 4. It was fitting to have Regan, Fitz, Sandler, and Taryn here because we carpool to Sunday school with these dear friends, and the kids love to take turns choosing songs in the car, singing along and introducing each other to new music. 🎶 If you watched Glee (and can remember!), you’ll understand why we had: Grilled Cheesus, Cheerios, Rachel Berrys, slushies, tots, Breadsticks (that also happened to be (Emma) Pillsbury), Lima beans, bake sale cupcakes, Coach Bieste bars, little elves, grapes and sanitizer wipes, and Fondue for Two! We had such a delightful time chatting the night away!


Saying goodbye to Sukkot is bittersweet- I’m exhausted and ready for healthy food(!), but I’ll miss our evenings with company every night. We had an amazing week being silly, connecting with people we love, and enjoying some fun themes. We lucked out with the most perfect weather, too! So long, Sukkot! See you next year!

Thursday, October 31, 2024

Dear Leslie (13)

Dear Leslie,

Trick-or-treating has officially come to an end, and with kids going to bed and the night slowing a little, it's finally time to take a breath. The yahrzeit candle flickers on the kitchen island, reminding me every time I pass it by, that it's been another year without you. The big event you missed this year was Banner's bar mitzvah. Yet, you were very much a part of it. We most definitely felt your presence, most definitely brought you along. Another big event was Paul's death. Oh, how you should have been here to hold Shelby through it. You'd be so proud of her - the help she gets for herself, the way she's moving towards healing on her own terms, the way she's navigating the bumpy road it's been for her this year. She really needed you this year, and it just plain sucks that you aren't here. Sometimes I get really mad at you. Not really you, but the whole unfairness that your kids and grandkids don't have you here. But mostly, I just feel so sad for YOU that you're missing out on all the things.

You're missing coming to cheer Quinn on at his baseball games. Oh, those are getting so fun to watch! You are missing laughing at Knox's ridiculous dance moves and silly jokes. You are missing hearing about Sam's latest adventure - whether it's traveling for work or off-roading in his beloved "Ellie." You didn't get to hear about our trip to Hawaii or how Richard actually went on a vacation! I bet you'd even love our Tova-girl! She's precious, and I bet you'd love snuggling with her. You missed Natalie & Kirill's wedding. You would have loved to see your brother so happy, full of joy and tears, walking his baby down the aisle and dancing with her that night. You would have loved to spend time with your extended family. I know this to my core - you would have been dancing, laughing, smiling all night. I can literally see it in my mind as if it happened - a memory that was never actually made but still so very real. How does that even happen!?

I spent the morning with my 7-month-old niece, Vera, Kindle's daughter. Kindle was telling me about Vera's Halloween costume and her music class with the other babies dressed in their costumes. It immediately brought me back to Banner's first Halloween and the playdate we had that morning with his baby friends. I was brought back to his first Halloween costume - Swee'Pea - and what a disaster that was! But then it also brought me back to how that day ended and what a shock it continues to be. Sometimes I still just can't wrap my head around it all, and yet it's still so very real, feeling like it all just happened.

These letters are getting shorter, I know. Partly that's because I know I'm saying the same thing year after year. And partly it's because I'm not finding a need to write it all down anymore. We think about you. You are alive within our memories, and sometimes even in the faces or expressions of my boys. We continue to tell them stories, share things you would say, or simply acknowledge it when we think you would have liked or enjoyed something. 

Leslie, sometimes when the days are hectic or it just all feels too overwhelming, I get discouraged and want to just give up on parenting, give up on trying my best. But, then I remember the promise I made to you years ago, when I was writing one of these letters. I promised I'd try to make each day beautiful. I promised I'd treasure the life we have and that I get to be here with your grandbabies while you don't. This season of life is hard - I'm feeling my age some days, and my patience is short with an angsty teenager, more than half of this crew having ADHD, and alllll the activities that come along with three boys. But I'm so very grateful to be their mom, to be Sam's wife, to have everything we have going for us. So just know, the promise I made to you is renewed each year when I write these letters - to think of you, to reset, to try my best to make it beautiful, because I know it goes all too fast, and even the hard moments are to be cherished.

Missing you,

Amber



Wednesday, September 18, 2024

And Another Year Makes... ELEVEN! (Quinn's Newsletter!)

Dear Quinn, 

Over a week ago, you turned ELEVEN! I still cannot believe how old that sounds for you. I still see you as my squishy toddler who couldn't say his r's! I mean not really - I know you're quite mature and fully functioning as the pre-teen that you are, but in my mind, you will always live as my silly "little middle" with big ideas! I am so very thankful for you in my life, and I hope you know how very loved and cherished you are. Let me tell you about you at 11:

-The biggest change for your this year was getting your tonsils and adenoids removed. You've always been a loud breather when you sleep, snoring on and off throughout the night. When you were 10-months-old, I took you to an ENT to find out if there was anything going on that we should be concerned about. He diagnosed you with laryngomalacia - basically a floppy/flimsy breathing tube that made breathing more difficult, especially if you slept on your back and/or cried a lot. Thank goodness I had been trusting my gut to go against the recommendation to put you to bed on your back and instead felt that you got better rest on your belly. The ENT said this would help you breathe better; and he also advised never letting you cry it out. So we went to you every time you cried. We were told you would grow out of laryngomalacia by about two-years-old, and I guess you did, but you never stopped being a noisy sleeper. When we took you to a different ENT around 3 years old, he told us you weren't showing signs of sleep apnea, so there was no need to take your tonsils and we should just watch you. We did get your "scoped" for vocal nodules at 5-years-old, and sure enough, you had them. Your raspy voice had always given me concern, so we sought speech therapy to help with nodules, and while we were at it, we tackled your "r" and "s" sounds. You've continued to have to take care of your voice with lots of water and trying not to scream or shout a lot. But, again, the darn sleeping just kept being so loud. Especially in the past couple of years, you'd wake up with a sore throat and even say you didn't want to talk, whispering to me, "Email my teacher and tell her I'm not talking today!" In third grade, you had strep twice - pretty close together, and Dr. B. said if you had it one more time we'd need to consider getting your tonsils out. Last year, I was on the fence about just seeking another ENT appointment, but we never really did anything about it. Finally, after a horrible sore throat and a phone call from the GFC nurse saying, "His tonsils are HUGE," I made ENT appointments with two different doctors. The first one said you weren't really a candidate for surgery because you didn't have the other symptoms of sleep apnea - agreeing with the ENT when you were 3. But my gut was still feeling like he wasn't getting the whole picture. So, I wen to the other ENT appointment and basically just said, "I want them out." This doctor looked at your throat, said, "Wow, you've got some big old meatballs back there, don't you, Quinn?!" He said, yes, let's take them out. The following week, right after surgery, he came to the waiting room to get Dad and me, and he said that your tonsils and especially adenoids were so big - blocking about 75-80% of your airway. He said it was like you've "been living under water your whole life." Oh man, to hear that made me both delighted that we demanded this surgery and angry that we waited 10 years to do it! I was angry at the doctors who didn't guide us properly or never really seemed to hear what I was saying. I slept in your bed for the first 10 days after surgery, and at first the snoring didn't go away, but after a week when swelling was less, you stopped! It's been about a month and a half, and now, you are a quiet sleeper! I never know when you're asleep or not - whereas before, I could hear you were asleep from down the hallway! My heart is more at peace knowing my baby can breathe!! 

-You are so very smart! You are well above grade level in every subject, and in STAAR reading you scored in the 100th percentile in 4th grade. In math, you scored in the 95th percentile. You LOVE to learn; always have! You love PACE, you love to read, you enjoy learning about how things happen, where they come from, how they work, etc.

-You still love to collect all kinds of random things I call "tchotchkes." You've gotten better about knowing what you can or should throw away, but you continue to want all kinds of little doodads in your possession. We cleaned out every corner of your room this summer, and when you found some old pouches and zipper bags full of old tchotchkes, you laughed and wondered why you would have kept these things. You said we could throw them away, but then, I could see your 4-, 5-, or 6-year-old self getting upset that you would throw away old crayons or Chuck E. Cheese prizes, and I might have just kept them there. When it comes to these keepsakes, you and I are a bit similar after all! 

-You take medication for anxiety. I think this started around February/March, but I can't be sure. You had been going to Nurse Sarah quite often, complaining more of headaches and stomachaches, not wanting to go to school... these had been fairly common issues in the fall semester for years, a pattern that we had seen and would improve once your teachers really got to know how bright and ahead you were and could finally challenge you in school. But it wasn't getting better in fourth grade, so we took you to Dr. A, and he helped us "bring down the temperature" on your anxiety. I don't think you'll need them long-term, and neither does Dr. A, but for now, they're really helpful. I do wonder if your poor sleep exacerbated your anxiety. We will have to see how it goes and what he recommends for how to wean you off the medication. You've always been nostalgic, deep thinking, a little anxious, and emotional- and you come by those characteristics very naturally! I'm the exact same way, and it runs deep in our genes. But, better sleep will certainly help!

-I absolutely love watching you play baseball. You're playing on the RoughRiders team now - the same team we called the Pirates last season. Coach Jerod is great, and you're making friends with new boys who love cheering you on (although I don't love your "Cookie Monster" nickname, which you apparently got when you wore Banner's old Sesame Street gangster shirt to practice one day). 

-You love: Brawl Stars, soft drinks, going to 7-Eleven, popcorn, broccoli, hanging with your "friend group," baseball, watching shows as a family (Glee is the one we're on now, but we've done Ted Lasso, Friends, and Lost in the past year), Greek mythology (but probably because Fortnite released those characters recently), GFC, ziplining, roller coasters, cooking with me, sitting in the front seat, playing with your brothers, cuddling with Tova, sleeping in our bed, Subway, Freebirds, building Lego sets, and swimming.

-We went for your well check with Dr. B at the end of last week, and. you're doing great. We did discuss your weight and your overeating, and this is something you will work on. You've been going to the gym with Dad sometimes, and you know you need to cut back on the soft drinks that we allow you to have at special events. We will help you with this! You are 57 inches = 55th percentile. You weigh 111 pounds = 93rd percentile. Dr. B suspects you will have a big growth spurt this year. 

-For your birthday, we took 11 of your friends to a RoughRiders game to watch you throw out the first pitch of the game! It was so fun. LOUD, but fun! You invited Myles, Bryson, Harper, Derek, Ryan, Levi, Luca, Nami, Nico, Bennet, and Hayden. Grandma, Papa, Zaide, BeeBee, Banner, Knox, Dad, me, and of course, you were also there! We had a private suite that Dad had won at an auction; we ate baseball cupcakes after a hot dog, chicken tender, and hamburger dinner. It was a blast! We also sang "Happy Birthday" to you with the family at our anniversary video viewing party, and then on your actual birthday, Dad and I brought you lunch to school, and then we went to Magic Time Machine for dinner.

Quinn Redding, you are my easiest child. You are so cooperative, respectful, obedient, caring, affectionate, responsible, and attentive. You are inquisitive, insightful, creative, inventive, and so full of great ideas. I rarely have to ask you twice to do something, and you are the first to volunteer to help me with whatever is needed. You have your priorities in good order, and you know to do the things you don't really want to do - but must - first. I often have to check myself and make sure I'm not asking you to do more than your fair share. You're just the only one of my boys who doesn't make a fuss about it, so I find myself asking you to do the quick thing I need help with. That's not fair to you, and I am well aware of that. I promise you I'm working on it. You and I are the only ones in this house without ADHD, and we sometimes lean on each other or check in with each other when the others in the house aren't listening or paying attention.

This week, you asked me how many months before summer break. I answered, "Eight," but went on to tell you of course that included two weeks of winter break, a week of spring break, and a week of fall break. You said, "No, I know. I just wanted to know how much longer I have at Hightower. I don't want it to be over." This, of course, was not what I was expecting, instead thinking you wanted summer break back. I told you to just savor the year, enjoy what you have left rather than worrying about it or being sad that it's "only" 8 months. This last year of elementary school is going to be hard for you because it is just that - the last. You had a hard time leaving Anshai and knowing Pre-K was over, that a new chapter would be starting. Like me, you are well aware of time marching on and wanting to capture it before it's gone all too quickly. Change is hard, growing up is hard, saying goodbye is hard. But I hope you will enjoy this celebratory year ahead of you knowing how lucky you are to have had this time at your beloved school, with your beloved teachers and friends. I also know you are going to be successful in the next chapter and go far wherever you go! I am so grateful to be your mom - to support you through these challenges and changes, to cuddle you each night, to watch all your accomplish, to cheer you on in every endeavor, to care for you when you need it most, to hold your hand through every chapter. 

I love you so very much, My Love. I wish you a very happy birthday and many more to come!

Love,

Mom

Saying goodbye to 10

Last sleep as a 10-year-old
Night before 1 vs. Night before 11