Silly faces |
Saturday, October 10, 2020
SUKKAH SHENANIGANS
Wednesday, September 9, 2020
And Another Year Makes SEVEN: Quinn's Newsletter
Dear Quinn,
When I was nearly 13, my dad wrote and shared a beautiful letter at my Bat Mitzvah. He wrote about how a "wise man" once told him that every now and then he should sit down and write a letter to each of his children telling them what he thinks they will be like when they're older, and that, inevitably, he would almost never be right. I have been writing you and your brothers letters since before you were born - not because of my dad's story or the "wise man's" advice, but because I just like to let you know how I am feeling as I watch you boys grow up, to let you know my innermost thoughts about what I observe as a parent, to let you know what is on my mind and in my heart, and most importantly, to capture your youngest days - days that you may not remember but would want to know about, days that are "slipping through my fingers all the time" and faster than I'd like. And, so, I agree with my dad that parents should sit down and write their kids' letters. But, My Love, Big Boss was wrong. What I've learned from these letters is that from day 1, I have known my children and predicted exactly right what they would be like as they age. (Obviously, I could still learn differently as you get into teenage years or adulthood; therefore, I reserve the right to change my mind!) Within moments and hours after your birth, I knew many things about you that are still true to this day: you're a cuddler, a little bundle of love, wise and thoughtful, quiet but let your feelings be known, a good eater, determined and confident, an affectionate, sensitive boy who just wants to know he's loved and accepted. I want you to know that I see you. I see you so much, Quinn. Our bond is strong, I know what you're thinking before you say it, and you know me just as well. Your personality (just like your brothers') has been evident since we met, and while I can't know the future, I know that yours is so bright. Here's why:
- You are so super smart. Like freakishly smart. School bores you and irritates you because it's boring and redundant, when you're a fast learner ahead of your peers. Reading at a fourth grade level, performing math beyond your years, able to reason and solve complex problems and puzzles, interested in history and the world. You're a thinker. You have the most beautiful handwriting and take pride in your work. If you have a weakness, I would say it's spelling, but I see that developing nicely as you get a better understanding of vowel patterns when it comes to "coding" words. Decoding isn't an issue, but writing your own words can be trickier.
- You have the best sense of humor. You understand sarcasm, puns, irony, and analogies. You love to be silly and make up jokes.
- You are always willing to share what's on your mind. Lately, you tell me you worry about dying and not wanting life to go so fast. You were sad to turn 7, because saying goodbye to 6 was a little difficult. You love that we do an I Believe before each birthday, reminiscing about the year and reflecting on all the things. You whispered to me last night as I was reading I Believe to you: "It's all the fun things we did this year. This makes me smile." And that's why I do it!
- You don't care what others think. You very often, inadvertently, put your shirt on backwards, and when I call your attention to it, you shrug it off and say, "I like it that way." You want me to paint your nails even if it's not a very "boy" thing to do, so when Banner calls you out on it, you say you don't care.
- You have a great understanding of what is fair and just. You do not like that anyone would be judged for believing a certain way, for looking a certain way, for their skin color or gender identification or religion and so on. Tonight, Dad drove you to pick up dinner for us, and you said as it rained heavily, "I feel bad for people who are homeless."
- You are a little romantic! My favorite thing is when you put your hands on my cheeks to pull me in for a kiss. You give the best hugs (still called "Famous Quinn Hugs!"). You have a girlfriend (don't worry, I won't embarrass you by saying her name here), and you send her the sweetest messages. And she is so sweet right back. My favorite messages she's left you are the voice recording: "OH MY GOODNESS, I LOVE YOU!" and the text she sent you when you told her you were sad, she wrote, "You can't be. I love you."
- You still like to help me in the kitchen. While your desire to cook and bake with me has diminished a little because you're too obsessed with wanting to play video games, you want to learn more and find a sense of accomplishment when you get to make a meal.
- You are so very gracious and appreciative. You have the best manners. It's not uncommon for me to only get a "Thanks, Mom!" from just you while your brothers completely ignore me. You're eager to apologize and make sure no one is hurt if you accidentally hurt someone or make a mistake or a mess. I love watching you jump up and down with this excited, wide-eyed, open-smiled grin and fist-pumping arms if you find out we're doing something fun or special.
- You can be stubborn! You will not let me pull those two front teeth or even let me wiggle them to entice them to get loose enough for me to yank. You won't listen when I tell you not to help Knox with something (usually a video game) and inevitably end up in tears because he's hitting you while telling you to let HIM do it.
- You can have quite a temper when things aren't easy or you don't understand or when you get frustrated (like with Lego instructions or getting the computer to do what you want). Usually this results in throwing things, hitting the couch or the bed, stamping your foot, making fists and swatting at the air, pouting then yelling then crying. Usually, you just need a hug and someone to help you reason, someone to remind you to breathe, to cool off, to look at the big picture, but I can feel your sense of frustration and despair in those angry moments. You feel those intensely. This is when I have to remind myself of your age, because you often times seem so old and so mature but then shut down like this, revealing how little you still are.
- You're either going through a growth spurt or you are bored out of your mind with virtual school, but you want to eat ALL.THE.TIME. "I'm still hungry," you'll tell me after a big dinner. "Can I have another snack?" during a Zoom session.
- Speaking of, you have loved at-home learning. We've been home for 6 months now, and you don't have much desire to go back to school in-person. You are content with your time at home. I do think you'd love to be back in-person to see your friends and go to PACE in person, but otherwise, you could care less about being back in the building.
- You're always willing to participate. This summer, I had several activities planned to help make our long days at home more fun. You were usually the only one willing to try them out with me: making our own ice cream, baking pretzels, trying out new challah recipes, making slime, making moon dough, testing out the tin foil river in the backyard, trying new games .... I have a feeling you didn't really WANT to do these things but saw that I was trying and wanting to spend time with you guys this way. Either way, you and I got some time together and created more memories, and for that I'm grateful!
- You learned to tie your shoes and ride a bike this year. They weren't easy tasks, and you were reluctant that you'd succeed, but with some great pep talks and some growth mindset, you conquered those fears. Similarly, you conquered your fears of going down the zip line and then couldn't get enough of it! I love watching you build that confidence and find such joy in your accomplishments.
- Random facts about you: you sleep in your underwear and you'd prefer to never have to get dressed; you love to dance; you have growing pains more than your brothers; you hate ketchup; your favorite color is still "golden;" you flap your hands when you're excited or anxious/nervous (this is new in past 5-6 months); you love Legos; you love playing video games with your friends, cousins, brothers and most recently have begun bonding with Banner and his friends over Fortnite... you are nauseatingly obsessed.
Quinn Redding, if I had to make a prediction about your future (as Big Boss says parents should do), I foresee that you'll be a loving, passionate, giving man. I think you'll make an amazing spouse to someone who will be lucky enough to receive the attention, affection, and sweetness you can offer so generously. I foresee you making sure that you and your brothers stay close, the glue to the three of you keeping your brotherly relationships intact. Without a doubt, you are the one who will take care of ME when I'm an old lady. You'll be the one to visit me the most and wipe my tush if I can't do it myself! You won't want to, but you'd do it for me. You'll have a good-paying job and will work reasonable hours at something you're really good at and something you really enjoy. You'll get your heart broken from time to time, because you are so sensitive and willing to lay your heart on the line, but when you love you'll love fiercely and thoroughly. Of that, I have no doubt. You'll be angry at the world for not being fair, but you'll do your best to understand it and change what you don't like. Are these my hopes? Yes, of course! But, I really do think you'll be such a success in so many ways.
As "perfect" as I think you are sometimes, I know you aren't, and I don't want you to be. I want you to know it's okay to mess up, it's okay to be wrong, it's okay to have to work hard. You can be a little ball of anxiety sometimes, and you come by that naturally. And yes, I do worry about you, as all parents do for their kids, but I know you know I am always here for you. You sometimes say things that hurt my heart like when you told me earlier this year you don't like your voice (you thought you sounded weird in a recording, as most people feel about their own voices) or when you told me you wanted to change your name (luckily it was just to "Mr. Quinn," and that relieved me since I adore your name!!) or when you don't like to look at pictures of yourself as a younger kid. I love you so much that when I don't hear that love for yourself back it makes me hurt. Thankfully, last night after I said "No one loves you like I do," you replied with "Well, except me. I love myself a lot." Music to a mother's ears!! I want you to love yourself, and when things get tough and you aren't feeling as hopeful, happy, and strong, as our song says, "Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you. Love, you're not alone. I'm gonna stand by you." And I ALWAYS will. I couldn't love you more, my little middle squish!
Happy 7th Birthday, Quinny-Quinn!
I love you more than you could ever imagine.
Love,
Mom
Sunday, August 16, 2020
Four & A Half: Knox's Newsletter
Dear Knox,
Your half-birthday always kind of sneaks up on me, as there is usually so much going on this time of the year. The summer winding down, gearing up for our anniversary, Quinn's birthday on the horizon, and the start of each new school year all happening at once. But, it's fun to stop and just reminisce half-way through your year. This will be my last mid-year newsletter to you. From 5 and on, I will only write once a year in this format. Of course, I always have other letters on specific topics that I write to you and your brothers, but this is the last mid-year letter that's specifically about your growth and development and changes. Usually I enjoy thinking back to the last 6 months of your year, but these past 5 months have been a bit of a blur. You see, we're in the middle of a pandemic, and COVID-19 has kind of taken over whatever plans we had these past several months. We've been cooped up at home, we've been around each other 100% of the time, and we haven't gotten to enjoy the typical activities we would have been otherwise doing. But, that doesn't mean we haven't had some fun, and it doesn't mean we haven't made some special memories. It also doesn't mean that there's nothing to say about YOU! You, my active little fireball, are one crazy kid, and I have a LOT to say about you!
Love this gorgeous face! |
So, what have you been up to these last 6 months??
- When the coronavirus first hit, you were worried and sad that you couldn't go back to school. Explaining all of this to you, during these early years in your life when you are supposed to be carefree and playful, has been really hard. You kept thinking everyone was going to die from coronavirus. You understood why we couldn't see family or have friends play, but sometimes you would take it too far - even saying that we couldn't get too close to you because, "coronavirus! Duh!" Now that we've taken a few steps to be around certain people, you've realized that we're really okay, but you also know we have to be cautious, wash hands, and wear masks.
- You miss your Anshai friends and teachers very much. You haven't been in the building since March 6th, and Spring Break just kept going! It was lovely when your teachers made special videos and we could watch them whenever we wanted. But, when Zoom lessons started to fill our days, you were annoyed and irritated at them. You hated getting online, and you told me the classes make you sad because it makes you miss real school more. This broke my heart, so we backed off of them since mid-April and pretty much stopped them altogether by May.
- As the summer passed, and corona didn't let up, we decided to withdraw you from Anshai in order for you to attend RISD PreK at the same building I work in. This is significantly less expensive, but it's also one less building to expose our family to. In addition, we just don't know what this school year will bring, and truth be told, if you are barely going to have school, we figure it's better to focus on academics and less on Judaica that we can teach you at home. I am extremely upset that we had to make this choice. It's a choice we never would have had to make if things were "normal." But, I'm also very excited to share a special school year with you... we get to go to school together this one year!!
- Because we've been home so much, and especially as the weather has been so hot, you have spent an inordinate amount of time on a screen. You and your brothers have been allowed more screen time than all of us combined should be allowed in our entire lives. You and Quinn started the summer very obsessed with Animal Crossing on the Switch, then you moved to Super Smash Bros. You also like an Xbox game called Totally Reliable Delivery Service, which cracks you UP! You're happy to watch Kids YouTube and play Tom Gold Run for hours if we let you.
- You get really angry really fast. Your anger, your madness, your sadness, your frustration is all over your face, deep in your eyes, puckered in your lips, furrowed in your brows, and clenched in your jaws. You suck those cheeks in when you're especially angry or want to charge at your brothers. Your sad, pouty lips pull downward so naturally hard when you're sad. Your "hurt" cry has been the same since you were a toddler. I've always known a "hurt" cry and a "scared cry" from every other cry you could possibly make.
- We're working on letters and sounds, and you pretty much know all of them at this time. G and Y give you the most trouble, but you'll get them soon!
- You have the best vocabulary. Just like your big brothers, you never cease to amaze us at the words you choose to use. In addition, you are rather quick to pick up on expressions and sayings, and you use them very appropriately.
- You LOVE to be silly - to a fault. It can get really annoying when we are asking you to work with us on letters/numbers/sounds, you get really silly and won't give a correct answer even when I know you know. You enjoy creating jibberish sounds or names. You talk a lot about your butt. You like to dance silly and never smile nicely for a picture.
- You're whiny a lot of the time. You are NOT AT ALL patient and demand our attention! Man, the Zoom meetings I would have in the spring were very hard, because you would waltz in the room insisting I get you some apple juice or chocolate milk right away. I'd have to remove you from the room, and then get back to a Zoom call with the utmost (fake) patience. One time, I was on a call with my principal and assistant principal, and you came in crying for apple juice so much so, that when we started a faculty meeting later in the week, my principal said, "Before we start, Ms. Pierce, are we all set on the apple juice?" It was pretty hilarious, actually. But you are one heck of an apple juice snob. Just sayin.
- You continue to have two volume levels: OFF and LOUD. You're either sleeping, or you are LOUD.
- Well, I'll add to that. OR you are thoroughly enjoying a meal or snack. If you love a food, you'll be pretty quiet. But, if that food is not your favorite, we will hear about how "disgusting" it is. We will be told over and over again that you're not eating it. And, while we've made you try everything on your plate usually, you will fight it as long as possible and gag through the whole experience.
- Even really great smells are "stinky" to you. We've walked in to Amanda's house which smells amazing with challah baking or cookies cooling, and you will immediately say, "It smells disgusting in here!" or "What is that stinky smell!?" It's kinda embarrassing, but thank goodness for good friends who "get" you and know that's your way of just saying "I smell something."
- I need to reiterate how LOUD you are. I just had to say that again. Like your outside voice is not even appropriate for outside. It's like several decibels above the norm, and the unintelligible wails and shouts while speaking to no one in particular are obnoxious when we're just trying to take a walk around the park or meet friends for bike riding in the circle drive. We might call someone to say hello or FaceTime with someone, and you are so freakin' loud that it's not even worth the call because no one can hear over your loud, jingly gibberish.
- We've had to stop swim lessons since March. Luckily, you've gotten lots of time in Grandma & Papa's pool, and you finally learned how to come up for air and swim by yourself! You'll go back to swim lessons eventually, but I feel much better knowing you can breathe now!
- You've become pretty scared of things recently. You don't like to sleep in your own bed by yourself and would prefer a brother sleeps in your bed or you sleep with one of them or in our bed. You CAN sleep in your room alone, but it makes you anxious each evening.
- You still have a nervous habit of taking your index finger and wiping it from the corner of your mouth back toward your mid-cheek. I can always tell when you're worried or anxious about something when you do this.
- Words that start with L are still mispronounced: Yegos, Yittle.... and “animal” is still “aminal.”
- Some of your favorite things: pretzels, M&M yogurt, did I mention apple juice?!, watching Teen Titans, playing on any screen, nuggets, Handel's chocolate ice cream, swimming, jumping on the couch (which we cannot stand!!!), the stars in your bedroom at night, Wyatt L., lollipops, when I clean your ears, color baths, the color green, Milano cookies (adorably mispronounced “Lemanos” or “Lenamos” until you’re can remember what they’re called)
- You really dislike: buckling yourself up, going anywhere by yourself, trying new foods, being interrupted by your brothers, sitting still, cleaning up
I was most worried about you at the start of this pandemic, because you really need to be around kids your age, developing those social skills you'll use forever. You've seemingly come to enjoy being at home and having all of us here to play all the time, even if it means it can frustrate you when you don't get our attention immediately. I'm still worried about you, but you've taken this uncertain time and rolled with it. The year you were four ... it will certainly be one for the books. You may not remember much of it, I know. But, I hope at the very least you'll feel that we've made this time sacred and special, that instead of being "stuck at home," we've been tucked away all together, SAFE at home.