
Silly faces |

Silly faces |
Dear Quinn,
When I was nearly 13, my dad wrote and shared a beautiful letter at my Bat Mitzvah. He wrote about how a "wise man" once told him that every now and then he should sit down and write a letter to each of his children telling them what he thinks they will be like when they're older, and that, inevitably, he would almost never be right. I have been writing you and your brothers letters since before you were born - not because of my dad's story or the "wise man's" advice, but because I just like to let you know how I am feeling as I watch you boys grow up, to let you know my innermost thoughts about what I observe as a parent, to let you know what is on my mind and in my heart, and most importantly, to capture your youngest days - days that you may not remember but would want to know about, days that are "slipping through my fingers all the time" and faster than I'd like. And, so, I agree with my dad that parents should sit down and write their kids' letters. But, My Love, Big Boss was wrong. What I've learned from these letters is that from day 1, I have known my children and predicted exactly right what they would be like as they age. (Obviously, I could still learn differently as you get into teenage years or adulthood; therefore, I reserve the right to change my mind!) Within moments and hours after your birth, I knew many things about you that are still true to this day: you're a cuddler, a little bundle of love, wise and thoughtful, quiet but let your feelings be known, a good eater, determined and confident, an affectionate, sensitive boy who just wants to know he's loved and accepted. I want you to know that I see you. I see you so much, Quinn. Our bond is strong, I know what you're thinking before you say it, and you know me just as well. Your personality (just like your brothers') has been evident since we met, and while I can't know the future, I know that yours is so bright. Here's why:
Quinn Redding, if I had to make a prediction about your future (as Big Boss says parents should do), I foresee that you'll be a loving, passionate, giving man. I think you'll make an amazing spouse to someone who will be lucky enough to receive the attention, affection, and sweetness you can offer so generously. I foresee you making sure that you and your brothers stay close, the glue to the three of you keeping your brotherly relationships intact. Without a doubt, you are the one who will take care of ME when I'm an old lady. You'll be the one to visit me the most and wipe my tush if I can't do it myself! You won't want to, but you'd do it for me. You'll have a good-paying job and will work reasonable hours at something you're really good at and something you really enjoy. You'll get your heart broken from time to time, because you are so sensitive and willing to lay your heart on the line, but when you love you'll love fiercely and thoroughly. Of that, I have no doubt. You'll be angry at the world for not being fair, but you'll do your best to understand it and change what you don't like. Are these my hopes? Yes, of course! But, I really do think you'll be such a success in so many ways.
As "perfect" as I think you are sometimes, I know you aren't, and I don't want you to be. I want you to know it's okay to mess up, it's okay to be wrong, it's okay to have to work hard. You can be a little ball of anxiety sometimes, and you come by that naturally. And yes, I do worry about you, as all parents do for their kids, but I know you know I am always here for you. You sometimes say things that hurt my heart like when you told me earlier this year you don't like your voice (you thought you sounded weird in a recording, as most people feel about their own voices) or when you told me you wanted to change your name (luckily it was just to "Mr. Quinn," and that relieved me since I adore your name!!) or when you don't like to look at pictures of yourself as a younger kid. I love you so much that when I don't hear that love for yourself back it makes me hurt. Thankfully, last night after I said "No one loves you like I do," you replied with "Well, except me. I love myself a lot." Music to a mother's ears!! I want you to love yourself, and when things get tough and you aren't feeling as hopeful, happy, and strong, as our song says, "Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you. Love, you're not alone. I'm gonna stand by you." And I ALWAYS will. I couldn't love you more, my little middle squish!
Happy 7th Birthday, Quinny-Quinn!
I love you more than you could ever imagine.
Love,
Mom
Dear Knox,
Your half-birthday always kind of sneaks up on me, as there is usually so much going on this time of the year. The summer winding down, gearing up for our anniversary, Quinn's birthday on the horizon, and the start of each new school year all happening at once. But, it's fun to stop and just reminisce half-way through your year. This will be my last mid-year newsletter to you. From 5 and on, I will only write once a year in this format. Of course, I always have other letters on specific topics that I write to you and your brothers, but this is the last mid-year letter that's specifically about your growth and development and changes. Usually I enjoy thinking back to the last 6 months of your year, but these past 5 months have been a bit of a blur. You see, we're in the middle of a pandemic, and COVID-19 has kind of taken over whatever plans we had these past several months. We've been cooped up at home, we've been around each other 100% of the time, and we haven't gotten to enjoy the typical activities we would have been otherwise doing. But, that doesn't mean we haven't had some fun, and it doesn't mean we haven't made some special memories. It also doesn't mean that there's nothing to say about YOU! You, my active little fireball, are one crazy kid, and I have a LOT to say about you!
Love this gorgeous face! |
So, what have you been up to these last 6 months??