SUKKAH SHENANIGANS

I never imagined that I'd have a sukkah in my own backyard. But, the year we got married (2009), Sam and I were sitting in Yom Kippur services at Temple, and after an announcement made by the rabbi about upcoming events in the Temple sukkah, Sam turned to me and said, "Let's build a sukkah this year." Haha, very funny, I thought. He said, "No, seriously, let's build a sukkah." I was still thinking he was joking, as we both are not that observant or religiously motivated to figure out how to construct anything like this. Neither of us grew up with a sukkah in our backyard or even observing Sukkot. We maybe went to the Temple sukkah during Sunday School classes, or maybe met our family for Temple events like a handful of times growing up, but it's like a blip in my memory. So, this idea of us having a sukkah was crazy. But, Sam was set in his decision and spent the next week shopping for materials, researching how to build a sukkah, and constructing one in our backyard. That first year, our sukkah leaned to one side. It fell over by the second or third night. I thought that was the end of our Sukkot adventures, but the following year, Sam was determined to get our sukkah back up and more stable. That year, it did stand up the whole week, but it still leaned a bit. We wised-up and learned to use our backyard fence as one of the walls one year, and that significantly helped while at the Darion house. 

 

One night, when Banner was 3 and Quinn was 1, we made a Southern-style meal, and I just happened to call is "Southern Sukkah" in a FaceBook post. The following night, the Fire Department had open houses for Fire Prevention Week. We had plans to take the boys to our local fire house, so I made a meal that was fire-themed and called it our "Fire Sukkah." And, thus began the next several nights of "themes." I NEVER intended to continue Sukkot theme nights, but it kind of took on a life of its own after that. And, once the boys were old enough to remember the year before, they began getting excited to come up with themes and ideas with me. Now, it's a full-blown craziness that we start planning for in July. The boys will help add to our ever-growing list of ideas throughout the year, so we have plenty of theme nights to choose from. 

Over the years, Sam perfected our sukkah. He doubled it in size, he got more efficient at quickly building it, even with little boys running around him, and he has added decoration, lights, and stability. At the same time, our themes have gotten crazier and more intense. As much as the sukkah shenanigans and the themes can get kind of crazy, I absolutely love the memories we are making with the boys and with our friends and family who join us each year. 

A friend of mine told me a couple years ago that I should write a book about our Sukkot themes. Maybe I will one day, but in the meantime, I thought at least a blog post would help me reflect on all the sukkah themes we've had in the past. So here's a look back! 

2014

SOUTHERN SUKKAH

Corn on the cob, fried chicken, watermelon, mashed potatoes.

FIRE SUKKAH

Yummy "stop, drop, and roll-em-up" hot dogs, pretzel matches, and "water" jello! Then, it was on to Open House at the Fire Station for Fire Prevention Week!

PI(E) SUKKAH

Sam made chicken pot pie; I made Oreo Pudding Pi(e). . . not the healthiest, but definitely yummy!

2015

OLDIES SUKKAH

Hamburgers, french fries, fruit, milkshakes, and Howdy Doody playing in the background.

MEXICAN SUKKAH

Yummy taco lasagna, rice, veggies, and chips

SHABBAT SUKKAH

CIRCLE SUKKAH

Personal pizzas and circle veggies - followed by scoops of ice cream and circle bananas!

CHINESE TAKE-OUT SUKKAH

MARIO SUKKAH

It's amazing how much cantaloupe a kid will eat when you call them "fire balls!" Pizza, fire power, and power mushrooms.

UNDER THE SEA SUKKAH

Had a lot of fun being creative with this theme: hot dog octopuses (or, "octopi," if you prefer), shell mac & cheese, crab crescent rolls, veggies, fruit, ocean jello and sand dollar cookies for dessert - followed by digging in the sand with our cousins!

2016

STAR WARS SUKKAH

This was Banner's idea, and it was one of my favorites! The boys had a blast with the theme. The lightsaber napkins were a hit. We ate Star Wars mac and cheese, "asteroid" dogs, fruit sabers, and Chewbacca cookies with our "Yoda soda" or "Space Juice."

BODY SUKKAH

We ate chicken fingers, angel hair pasta, pirate's booty, potato skins, ears of corn, (head of) lettuce, and brownie hearts for dessert. I have to say, this was the strangest meal, but it's the one I had the most fun coming up with!

TACO TUESDAY SUKKAH

We tried a new recipe: taco pockets, which were kind of like pop tart tacos.

BREAKFAST SUKKAH

We had purple pancakes (per Quinn's request to have "mommy's favorite color"), breakfast tacos, and "circle fries" for dinner.

ICE CREAM SUKKAH PLAY DATE

Quinn invited his preschool class over after school to have ice cream and/or ice cream sandwiches in the sukkah with him. Such a fun group!

TMNT SUKKAH

Pizza and green grapes made this meal easy and still kept with the theme. We had Ninja Turtle cookies for dessert.

A VERY HUNGRY (SHABBAT) SUKKAH

If it was in the book, it was probably on the table (or at least offered!), which made this meal quite a smorgasbord! We had pears, oranges, strawberries, Swiss cheese, salami, watermelon, cupcakes, lollipops, caterpillar grapes, caterpillar "cocoons" (hot dogs), and nice green leaves. There were cherry pie pockets and ice cream cones, too!

JUNGLE SUKKAH

We had animal crackers, ants on a log, grape spaghetti snakes, elephant biscuits, bananas, and zebra cakes for dessert!

2017

GOODNIGHT MOON SUKKAH

Bowl full of mush (baked potato soup), red balloons (cherries), quiet old lady who was whispering "hush" (hush puppies), stars (Puffs), cow jumping over the moon (gummy cows), cheddar bunnies, and goodnight moon pies helped us honor this favorite children's book of ours. Banner read to us, and then Knox did his rendition, mostly "shushing" and saying "nigh nigh" on every page.

BACKWARDS SUKKAH

Dessert was served first, followed by our main course, then an appetizer. We had fun with backwards names and backwards clothes, too! Mas, Rebma, Rennab, Nniuq, and Xonk loved having Hael, Nairda, Ayam, and Ira over for dinner!

TEAM UMIZOOMI SUKKAH

Quinn's special request! He's been a fan of this Nick Jr. show for years. It was a stretch, but we made it work with fettuccine "measuring tape," like Milli's hair, "super shape" carrots, "pattern power" fruit kabobs, and number garlic bread. We washed it down with "crazy shakes."

CAMP OUT SUKKAH

Tent sandwiches, hot dogs in a sleeping bag, ants on a log, corn on the cob, Aunt Mischelle's chicken fry fishing poles, and of course S'mores for dessert while we told ghost stories.

SOCCER SUKKAH

Had our favorite team mates over to enjoy pizza, Gatorade, soccer fruit cups, and soccer (zebra) cakes.

RAINBOW SUKKAH

Crazy, kid-friendly dinner of rainbow fruit kabobs, rainbow carrots, and rainbow grilled cheese - followed by rainbow cupcakes.

PIRATE SUKKAH

We had the easiest meal of gold nuggets, fish and chips, cannon balls (grapes and blueberries), Pirate's Booty, a treasure of gold and silver, and Chips Ahoy Matey!

2018

CELEBRITY SUKKAH

We enjoyed eating dinner with MEATLOAF, Jerry RICE, Snoop DOGG(s), CARROT Top, SHIRLEY TEMPLE, Fiona APPLE, John CANDY, "WHOOPI" (pie), Alyssa MILANO, Ariana GRANDE, Amy WINEhouse, and ICE CUBE. (OJ forgot to show up, and Kevin BACON thought he didn't fit in.) We were especially honored to dine with our friend and local celebrity,

Lorie Burch

, who was running for Congressional District 3, and her beautiful family.

S is for SHABBAT SUKKAH

In honor of Quinn's speech goals we started over the summer and have continued this semester, he wanted to have all foods that start with "s."

Sam

and I enjoyed soup, salad, steak, sandwiches, Sprite, sauce, strawberries, sweet potato fries, sherbet, and s'mores with our sweeties. We are ending the night watching silly Stuart Little.

WIZARD OF OZ SUKKAH

Scarecrow stuffing (spaghetti/spaghetti squash), crystal (meat)balls, poppy(seed) muffins, Somewhere Over the Rainbow fruit, animal crackers, yellow brick road cheese cubes, Toto Tater Tots, melted Wicked Witch punch, & Tin Man Hershey hats and Ding Dongs for dessert. (We also had the movie on, although the kids had so much fun playing with friends, they didn't really "watch.")

TRUMP SUKKAH

White bread, bologna, Russian dressing, little wieners, Cheetos, mushrooms, BS (Bull Soup), a bucket of KFC, and an empty bowl of thoughts and prayers. My favorites were Lock Her Upside Down Cake, Impeach Cobbler, and a wall of carrots separating the avocados from the Ranch dressing. We read Don't Be Like Trump before bed.

OUT OF THIS WORLD SUKKAH

Fruit rockets, sun chips, little "dippers" (chips and dip), constellation pretzels and marshmallows, Star Wars mac & cheese, flying saucer sliders, planet mandarins/pineapple rings, moon pies, and a lunar landing cake.

PUPPY SUKKAH

We enjoyed pupperoni pizza, Pupsi, pawsta, "kibble" (Cocoa Puffs), dog bones (Scooby Snacks), Paw Patrol nuggets, and Jello water bowls.

YO GABBA GABBA SUKKAH

All of our boys have loved this show as toddlers, and Knox is especially enamored with it. So, this one was all for him! If you or your kids are Gabba fans, you'll know why we had green beans, carrots, Dazzleberry Lemonade, bananas, and pancakes & syrup along with Plex Mix, Toodee Fruity, Muno treats, and Oskie Bugs tonight. Loved hearing all the Gabba quotations throughout the evening: "Try it, you'll like it," "Don't stop, don't give up," and "Food...Not Food."

2019

JEWISH SUKKAH

I’d been looking forward to this theme... a potluck celebration of all the foods we eat around the Jewish calendar. Nearly every holiday was represented from Rosh Hashanah to Shavuot, including Israeli flag cups to represent Yom Ha’atzmaut. Latkes, matzah, kugel, nuts, hamantashen, gelt, apples and honey, challah, wine.... you name it, we enjoyed it! The food, the company, the Sukkah (thank you,

Sam

), the prayers (thank you,

Avi

), and the special kid-made Torah desserts (thank you,

Kira

) were all amazing!

KARATE SUKKAH

These ninjas got a “kick” out of their favorite activity being tonight’s theme with our guests: Aunt

Karen

, Aunt

Mischelle

, Uncle

Brock

, and cousins Caden, Mara, Brycen, Nami, and Hayla. Each aunt brought special props to complete the look, making the evening of fruit punch, chopped broccoli, chicken with a kick, Kung “pow” beef, “blue belt” ice cream, a cheese block, and more... even more special!

FARM SUKKAH

For months, our little farmers had tended to our backyard garden, and this night we pulled our first carrots, so this theme was fitting! The drizzle kept us inside, but it didn’t keep us from having fun making animal balloons, eating delicious foods, and being silly with friends, Max and Havy!

STICK SUKKAH

From cheese and carrots to pretzels and fish, we ate all things sticks for dinner with the big boys’ best buds from school and their amazing families! Easiest Sukkah dinner yet! Kids and adults both loved wrapping up the meal with Drum Sticks and Pixy Stix in the most perfect temperature outside!

NURSERY RHYME SUKKAH

Mother Goose (and my own mother!) joined us for a night with favorite foods found throughout her lyrics. A smorgasbord of soup, sandwiches, spaghetti, and sides to represent some rhymes helped round out the celebration.

2020

WILLY WONKA SUKKAH

Bucket Family soup (they ate cabbage, we ate chicken noodle), bread that Charlie brings home to his family, three-course dinner gum, "You're turning violet, Violet" blueberries, lickable wallpaper (the schnozberries really taste like schnozberries!), golden eggs, Everlasting Gobstoppers, Fizzy Lifting Drink, a chocolate river, and edible teacups while watching the movie and wearing Wonkavision glasses and enjoying Candyman CANdle. 

PLAYGROUND SUKKAH

All things playground: sliders, teeter totters, rings, trees, butterflies/bees/bugs, monkey (bread) bars, ice cream (truck), a sandbox, dirt, rocks, and hop(butter)scotch.

Silly faces

ITALIAN SUKKAH

We enjoyed chicken Parmesan, spaghetti, grapes, Italian green beans, gelato, and spaghetti & meatball cupcakes! I found the cupcake idea online and loved how cute they are! Sam and I also showed the boys photos and videos from of our time in Italy during our honeymoon (over 10 years ago): our hike up Mt. Vesuvius, visiting Pompeii, learning about the Colosseum and the Vatican, tossing a coin in the Trevi Fountain, the amazing food in Florence and Naples! Così tanto divertimento!

TECHNOLOGY SUKKAH

While this dinner was not the most hearty, nor was it the most nutritious, we had fun being creative. It was also fitting that our guests joined us via Zoom tonight, even though we wish they could have been here in person. While apart, we still had some of the same foods to go with our theme: chicken “bytes,” bagel bites, “bug” juice, apples, microCHIPS, hash(tag) browns, a “firewall,” worms, kernels, pea PODcast, ants on a “blog,” and cookies.

CORONAVIRUS SUKKAH

While I do not “celebrate” this awful virus, we marked the moment in time by acknowledging the impact COVID-19 has had on us. We had two of our favorites, Jed & Cherie (and Avery FaceTimed in), for a socially-distanced dinner in the sukkah with PANdemic Pizza, Coronaviruses (meatballs), mask-a-Rona & cheese, uncharted waters, ICE-olation, and Corona. (And no, we did not actually drink or inject the bleach.)

G SUKKAH

Knox struggled to learn the letter G, so we decided to drill it in a little more with a tribute to all things G! It helps that our great buddies, favorite neighbors, and in-home learning friends are Graham and George, so Knox now knows both sounds a G makes. We loved having our “pod” over to eat Grilled cheese, Green beans, Grapes, Goldfish, Garlic bread, Graham crackers, Gummy bears, and Gingerbread on Green plates!

SPOOKY SUKKAH

Quinn came up with this theme. We ate mummy hotdogs, spider legs, carrot fingers, Dracula teeth, jack-o-lantern quesadillas, creepy punch, and graveyard cupcakes.

FORTNITE SUKKAH

We enjoyed one final evening with a shout out to the game that has taken over our household and that of our guests’ homes. If you’re like me and know nothing about Fortnite, most of this won’t mean anything to you. If, however, you are an addict like my two oldest sons, you will recognize our Durr Burgers, medkits, slurp juice, Fishstick, Agent Peely, Marshmello, Lil Whip, and why we ate Boogie Brownie Bombs, Salty Springs, Orange Justice, and potato “Skins.” Truth be told, I loved how excited they were all day for this evening and seeing their faces light up when their game came to our kitchen.

This year, we added a little something extra. We had all of our guests sign our sukkah somewhere. We also added in all the themes around the posts. I love that our sukkah gets better each year, and I love that it's a work of art and ever-changing.  

As we wind down another Sukkot, it feels bittersweet. I'm always relieved when the week is over, but I will definitely miss just hanging out in the sukkah, the time with friends or family, and the memories we are making. It's a lot of craziness, a lot of prep and time and energy, and a lot of thought, but it's so worth it!

And Another Year Makes SEVEN: Quinn's Newsletter

Dear Quinn,

When I was nearly 13, my dad wrote and shared a beautiful letter at my Bat Mitzvah. He wrote about how a "wise man" once told him that every now and then he should sit down and write a letter to each of his children telling them what he thinks they will be like when they're older, and that, inevitably, he would almost never be right. I have been writing you and your brothers letters since before you were born - not because of my dad's story or the "wise man's" advice, but because I just like to let you know how I am feeling as I watch you boys grow up, to let you know my innermost thoughts about what I observe as a parent, to let you know what is on my mind and in my heart, and most importantly, to capture your youngest days - days that you may not remember but would want to know about, days that are "slipping through my fingers all the time" and faster than I'd like. And, so, I agree with my dad that parents should sit down and write their kids' letters. But, My Love, Big Boss was wrong. What I've learned from these letters is that from day 1, I have known my children and predicted exactly right what they would be like as they age. (Obviously, I could still learn differently as you get into teenage years or adulthood; therefore, I reserve the right to change my mind!) Within moments and hours after your birth, I knew many things about you that are still true to this day: you're a cuddler, a little bundle of love, wise and thoughtful, quiet but let your feelings be known, a good eater, determined and confident, an affectionate, sensitive boy who just wants to know he's loved and accepted. I want you to know that I see you. I see you so much, Quinn. Our bond is strong, I know what you're thinking before you say it, and you know me just as well. Your personality (just like your brothers') has been evident since we met, and while I can't know the future, I know that yours is so bright. Here's why:

• You are so super smart. Like freakishly smart. School bores you and irritates you because it's boring and redundant, when you're a fast learner ahead of your peers. Reading at a fourth grade level, performing math beyond your years, able to reason and solve complex problems and puzzles, interested in history and the world. You're a thinker. You have the most beautiful handwriting and take pride in your work. If you have a weakness, I would say it's spelling, but I see that developing nicely as you get a better understanding of vowel patterns when it comes to "coding" words. Decoding isn't an issue, but writing your own words can be trickier.
• You have the best sense of humor. You understand sarcasm, puns, irony, and analogies. You love to be silly and make up jokes.
• You are always willing to share what's on your mind. Lately, you tell me you worry about dying and not wanting life to go so fast. You were sad to turn 7, because saying goodbye to 6 was a little difficult. You love that we do an I Believe before each birthday, reminiscing about the year and reflecting on all the things. You whispered to me last night as I was reading I Believe to you: "It's all the fun things we did this year. This makes me smile." And that's why I do it! 
• You don't care what others think. You very often, inadvertently, put your shirt on backwards, and when I call your attention to it, you shrug it off and say, "I like it that way." You want me to paint your nails even if it's not a very "boy" thing to do, so when Banner calls you out on it, you say you don't care. 
• You have a great understanding of what is fair and just. You do not like that anyone would be judged for believing a certain way, for looking a certain way, for their skin color or gender identification or religion and so on. Tonight, Dad drove you to pick up dinner for us, and you said as it rained heavily, "I feel bad for people who are homeless."
• You are a little romantic! My favorite thing is when you put your hands on my cheeks to pull me in for a kiss. You give the best hugs (still called "Famous Quinn Hugs!"). You have a girlfriend (don't worry, I won't embarrass you by saying her name here), and you send her the sweetest messages. And she is so sweet right back. My favorite messages she's left you are the voice recording: "OH MY GOODNESS, I LOVE YOU!" and the text she sent you when you told her you were sad, she wrote, "You can't be. I love you." 
• You still like to help me in the kitchen. While your desire to cook and bake with me has diminished a little because you're too obsessed with wanting to play video games, you want to learn more and find a sense of accomplishment when you get to make a meal.
• You are so very gracious and appreciative. You have the best manners. It's not uncommon for me to only get a "Thanks, Mom!" from just you while your brothers completely ignore me. You're eager to apologize and make sure no one is hurt if you accidentally hurt someone or make a mistake or a mess. I love watching you jump up and down with this excited, wide-eyed, open-smiled grin and fist-pumping arms if you find out we're doing something fun or special. 
• You can be stubborn! You will not let me pull those two front teeth or even let me wiggle them to entice them to get loose enough for me to yank. You won't listen when I tell you not to help Knox with something (usually a video game) and inevitably end up in tears because he's hitting you while telling you to let HIM do it. 
• You can have quite a temper when things aren't easy or you don't understand or when you get frustrated (like with Lego instructions or getting the computer to do what you want). Usually this results in throwing things, hitting the couch or the bed, stamping your foot, making fists and swatting at the air, pouting then yelling then crying. Usually, you just need a hug and someone to help you reason, someone to remind you to breathe, to cool off, to look at the big picture, but I can feel your sense of frustration and despair in those angry moments. You feel those intensely. This is when I have to remind myself of your age, because you often times seem so old and so mature but then shut down like this, revealing how little you still are. 
• You're either going through a growth spurt or you are bored out of your mind with virtual school, but you want to eat ALL.THE.TIME. "I'm still hungry," you'll tell me after a big dinner. "Can I have another snack?" during a Zoom session. 
• Speaking of, you have loved at-home learning. We've been home for 6 months now, and you don't have much desire to go back to school in-person. You are content with your time at home. I do think you'd love to be back in-person to see your friends and go to PACE in person, but otherwise, you could care less about being back in the building. 
• You're always willing to participate. This summer, I had several activities planned to help make our long days at home more fun. You were usually the only one willing to try them out with me: making our own ice cream, baking pretzels, trying out new challah recipes, making slime, making moon dough, testing out the tin foil river in the backyard, trying new games .... I have a feeling you didn't really WANT to do these things but saw that I was trying and wanting to spend time with you guys this way. Either way, you and I got some time together and created more memories, and for that I'm grateful!
• You learned to tie your shoes and ride a bike this year. They weren't easy tasks, and you were reluctant that you'd succeed, but with some great pep talks and some growth mindset, you conquered those fears. Similarly, you conquered your fears of going down the zip line and then couldn't get enough of it! I love watching you build that confidence and find such joy in your accomplishments. 
• Random facts about you: you sleep in your underwear and you'd prefer to never have to get dressed; you love to dance; you have growing pains more than your brothers; you hate ketchup; your favorite color is still "golden;" you flap your hands when you're excited or anxious/nervous (this is new in past 5-6 months); you love Legos; you love playing video games with your friends, cousins, brothers and most recently have begun bonding with Banner and his friends over Fortnite... you are nauseatingly obsessed. 

Quinn Redding, if I had to make a prediction about your future (as Big Boss says parents should do), I foresee that you'll be a loving, passionate, giving man. I think you'll make an amazing spouse to someone who will be lucky enough to receive the attention, affection, and sweetness you can offer so generously. I foresee you making sure that you and your brothers stay close, the glue to the three of you keeping your brotherly relationships intact. Without a doubt, you are the one who will take care of ME when I'm an old lady. You'll be the one to visit me the most and wipe my tush if I can't do it myself! You won't want to, but you'd do it for me. You'll have a good-paying job and will work reasonable hours at something you're really good at and something you really enjoy. You'll get your heart broken from time to time, because you are so sensitive and willing to lay your heart on the line, but when you love you'll love fiercely and thoroughly. Of that, I have no doubt. You'll be angry at the world for not being fair, but you'll do your best to understand it and change what you don't like. Are these my hopes? Yes, of course! But, I really do think you'll be such a success in so many ways. 

As "perfect" as I think you are sometimes, I know you aren't, and I don't want you to be. I want you to know it's okay to mess up, it's okay to be wrong, it's okay to have to work hard. You can be a little ball of anxiety sometimes, and you come by that naturally. And yes, I do worry about you, as all parents do for their kids, but I know you know I am always here for you. You sometimes say things that hurt my heart like when you told me earlier this year you don't like your voice (you thought you sounded weird in a recording, as most people feel about their own voices) or when you told me you wanted to change your name (luckily it was just to "Mr. Quinn," and that relieved me since I adore your name!!) or when you don't like to look at pictures of yourself as a younger kid. I love you so much that when I don't hear that love for yourself back it makes me hurt. Thankfully, last night after I said "No one loves you like I do," you replied with "Well, except me. I love myself a lot." Music to a mother's ears!! I want you to love yourself, and when things get tough and you aren't feeling as hopeful, happy, and strong, as our song says, "Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you. Love, you're not alone. I'm gonna stand by you." And I ALWAYS will. I couldn't love you more, my little middle squish! 

Happy 7th Birthday, Quinny-Quinn!

I love you more than you could ever imagine.

Love,

Mom

This photo cracks me up. Q is eating B because SEVEN "ate" NINE. 

Four & A Half: Knox's Newsletter

 Dear Knox,

Your half-birthday always kind of sneaks up on me, as there is usually so much going on this time of the year. The summer winding down, gearing up for our anniversary, Quinn's birthday on the horizon, and the start of each new school year all happening at once. But, it's fun to stop and just reminisce half-way through your year. This will be my last mid-year newsletter to you. From 5 and on, I will only write once a year in this format. Of course, I always have other letters on specific topics that I write to you and your brothers, but this is the last mid-year letter that's specifically about your growth and development and changes. Usually I enjoy thinking back to the last 6 months of your year, but these past 5 months have been a bit of a blur. You see, we're in the middle of a pandemic, and COVID-19 has kind of taken over whatever plans we had these past several months. We've been cooped up at home, we've been around each other 100% of the time, and we haven't gotten to enjoy the typical activities we would have been otherwise doing. But, that doesn't mean we haven't had some fun, and it doesn't mean we haven't made some special memories. It also doesn't mean that there's nothing to say about YOU! You, my active little fireball, are one crazy kid, and I have a LOT to say about you!

Love this gorgeous face!

So, what have you been up to these last 6 months??

• When the coronavirus first hit, you were worried and sad that you couldn't go back to school. Explaining all of this to you, during these early years in your life when you are supposed to be carefree and playful, has been really hard. You kept thinking everyone was going to die from coronavirus. You understood why we couldn't see family or have friends play, but sometimes you would take it too far - even saying that we couldn't get too close to you because, "coronavirus! Duh!" Now that we've taken a few steps to be around certain people, you've realized that we're really okay, but you also know we have to be cautious, wash hands, and wear masks. 
• You miss your Anshai friends and teachers very much. You haven't been in the building since March 6th, and Spring Break just kept going! It was lovely when your teachers made special videos and we could watch them whenever we wanted. But, when Zoom lessons started to fill our days, you were annoyed and irritated at them. You hated getting online, and you told me the classes make you sad because it makes you miss real school more. This broke my heart, so we backed off of them since mid-April and pretty much stopped them altogether by May. 
• As the summer passed, and corona didn't let up, we decided to withdraw you from Anshai in order for you to attend RISD PreK at the same building I work in. This is significantly less expensive, but it's also one less building to expose our family to. In addition, we just don't know what this school year will bring, and truth be told, if you are barely going to have school, we figure it's better to focus on academics and less on Judaica that we can teach you at home. I am extremely upset that we had to make this choice. It's a choice we never would have had to make if things were "normal." But, I'm also very excited to share a special school year with you... we get to go to school together this one year!!
• Because we've been home so much, and especially as the weather has been so hot, you have spent an inordinate amount of time on a screen. You and your brothers have been allowed more screen time than all of us combined should be allowed in our entire lives. You and Quinn started the summer very obsessed with Animal Crossing on the Switch, then you moved to Super Smash Bros. You also like an Xbox game called Totally Reliable Delivery Service, which cracks you UP! You're happy to watch Kids YouTube and play Tom Gold Run for hours if we let you. 
• You get really angry really fast. Your anger, your madness, your sadness, your frustration is all over your face, deep in your eyes, puckered in your lips, furrowed in your brows, and clenched in your jaws. You suck those cheeks in when you're especially angry or want to charge at your brothers. Your sad, pouty lips pull downward so naturally hard when you're sad. Your "hurt" cry has been the same since you were a toddler. I've always known a "hurt" cry and a "scared cry" from every other cry you could possibly make. 
• We're working on letters and sounds, and you pretty much know all of them at this time. G and Y give you the most trouble, but you'll get them soon! 
• You have the best vocabulary. Just like your big brothers, you never cease to amaze us at the words you choose to use. In addition, you are rather quick to pick up on expressions and sayings, and you use them very appropriately. 
• You LOVE to be silly - to a fault. It can get really annoying when we are asking you to work with us on letters/numbers/sounds, you get really silly and won't give a correct answer even when I know you know. You enjoy creating jibberish sounds or names. You talk a lot about your butt. You like to dance silly and never smile nicely for a picture. 
• You're whiny a lot of the time. You are NOT AT ALL patient and demand our attention! Man, the Zoom meetings I would have in the spring were very hard, because you would waltz in the room insisting I get you some apple juice or chocolate milk right away. I'd have to remove you from the room, and then get back to a Zoom call with the utmost (fake) patience. One time, I was on a call with my principal and assistant principal, and you came in crying for apple juice so much so, that when we started a faculty meeting later in the week, my principal said, "Before we start, Ms. Pierce, are we all set on the apple juice?" It was pretty hilarious, actually. But you are one heck of an apple juice snob. Just sayin.
• You continue to have two volume levels: OFF and LOUD. You're either sleeping, or you are LOUD.
• Well, I'll add to that. OR you are thoroughly enjoying a meal or snack. If you love a food, you'll be pretty quiet. But, if that food is not your favorite, we will hear about how "disgusting" it is. We will be told over and over again that you're not eating it. And, while we've made you try everything on your plate usually, you will fight it as long as possible and gag through the whole experience. 
• Even really great smells are "stinky" to you. We've walked in to Amanda's house which smells amazing with challah baking or cookies cooling, and you will immediately say, "It smells disgusting in here!" or "What is that stinky smell!?" It's kinda embarrassing, but thank goodness for good friends who "get" you and know that's your way of just saying "I smell something."
• I need to reiterate how LOUD you are. I just had to say that again. Like your outside voice is not even appropriate for outside. It's like several decibels above the norm, and the unintelligible wails and shouts while speaking to no one in particular are obnoxious when we're just trying to take a walk around the park or meet friends for bike riding in the circle drive. We might call someone to say hello or FaceTime with someone, and you are so freakin' loud that it's not even worth the call because no one can hear over your loud, jingly gibberish.
• We've had to stop swim lessons since March. Luckily, you've gotten lots of time in Grandma & Papa's pool, and you finally learned how to come up for air and swim by yourself! You'll go back to swim lessons eventually, but I feel much better knowing you can breathe now!
• You've become pretty scared of things recently. You don't like to sleep in your own bed by yourself and would prefer a brother sleeps in your bed or you sleep with one of them or in our bed. You CAN sleep in your room alone, but it makes you anxious each evening. 
• You still have a nervous habit of taking your index finger and wiping it from the corner of your mouth back toward your mid-cheek. I can always tell when you're worried or anxious about something when you do this.
• Words that start with L are still mispronounced: Yegos, Yittle.... and “animal” is still “aminal.” 
• Some of your favorite things: pretzels, M&M yogurt, did I mention apple juice?!, watching Teen Titans, playing on any screen, nuggets, Handel's chocolate ice cream, swimming, jumping on the couch (which we cannot stand!!!), the stars in your bedroom at night, Wyatt L., lollipops, when I clean your ears, color baths, the color green, Milano cookies (adorably mispronounced “Lemanos” or “Lenamos” until you’re can remember what they’re called)
• You really dislike: buckling yourself up, going anywhere by yourself, trying new foods, being interrupted by your brothers, sitting still, cleaning up

Knox Morgan, I absolutely hate that your school year got cut short, that you couldn't go to Camp Gan Izzy this summer, that you haven't been able to play with friends, that we haven't gone to your favorite places like Chuck E. Cheese's or Cheeky Monkeys, that splash parks and playgrounds and water parks didn't make it into our summer, that our June trip to Disneyland got cancelled and that you never even got to know about it. I hate that this time in your life will be stained with pandemics, politics, panic, and pause. It will become known as "the year you were 4," and it's such a pivotal year, the year of being the "fournado" you were supposed to be while surrounded by peers, social-emotional learning, and play. 

Yet, through it all, I'm so grateful that you have two older brothers to play with. Some kids don't have that. I'm so grateful you have been able to go to Grandma's pool, to play with Graham and George down the street, to have this amazing park literally behind our house, to have Daddy home more often (especially when he'd otherwise be gone a lot while campaigning), to have means to technology and to food and toilet paper and Clorox wipes. I count our blessings that we haven't had a financial hit, that we have family and friends that love to drive by to see us, that we can create our own fun here at home - sliding down the stairway on cardboard boxes, making our own PlayDoh, jumping on the trampoline, sliding down the Slip-n-Slide, creating our own Seder, splishing and splashing naked in the kitchen sink, Just Dance-ing, and creating safe paths when the Floor is Lava! 

I was most worried about you at the start of this pandemic, because you really need to be around kids your age, developing those social skills you'll use forever. You've seemingly come to enjoy being at home and having all of us here to play all the time, even if it means it can frustrate you when you don't get our attention immediately. I'm still worried about you, but you've taken this uncertain time and rolled with it. The year you were four ... it will certainly be one for the books. You may not remember much of it, I know. But, I hope at the very least you'll feel that we've made this time sacred and special, that instead of being "stuck at home," we've been tucked away all together, SAFE at home.

I love you, my Baby Love. 

Happy Half-Birthday!

Love,

Mommy

From my birthday

The Current Situation

Disclaimer: This post is ALL over the place. It represents my mind. It represents where we are in the world right now. It represents the back and forth of the news, the information, the guidelines we are getting on a daily basis. And, I'm also (a little) sorry for my foul mouth... some of my colleagues, appraisers, former students, and nieces and nephews will read this. I have a feeling you won't mind! :) 

I'm just gonna go ahead and say it like it is: the current situation sucks for everyone. We are 4 months into the COVID-19 pandemic having become our newest reality as a country, and we still haven't figured out what the hell we are doing. While it's absolutely true that the virus is no one's "fault," the handling of it has been a shitshow since the beginning. I started a blog post in March detailing the timeline and how the shutdown affected so many of us, how we were dealing with "at-home learning" (which was anything but), and how we were managing to survive those early weeks. Then, I got bored with my post and trying to keep up with the ridiculous rants (i.e. "press conferences") the president had on a daily basis, trying to find the time to write when I was so overwhelmed with managing three little boys and a PART-TIME job (ha, again, anything but... where's the eyeroll emoji on here?), and trying not to lose my mind in the anxiety it was all causing. So, I'm going to skip all the backstory we all already know.  I'm going to skip to the current situation and give my take on it. No one asked me, I know. But, maybe this post will help me sort out my thoughts and if so, maybe it could help you sort out yours... maybe?

In less than 10 days, I am supposed to make a decision for my children on which I have very little guidance. No parent or grandparent alive today has had to make this decision. People who don't have to make the choice are relieved they aren't the ones making it. I'm supposed to decide if I will send my three young children to school in August. I'm supposed to make this decision based on what exactly? The bare bones of a plan that can't be easily understood by any parent - including highly educated educators like myself? The guidelines keep changing, the data keeps changing, the requirements keep changing...  we're at all-time highs for people testing positively for COVID-19, more people are hospitalized, more people are dying. But by all means, let's make parents decide if they want to send their kids out into the world in the hopes that they'll stay safe.

But kids don't really get this, we've been told.
Well, they could bring it home to their grown-ups.

But kids can get this, we've been told.
Well, they recover pretty quickly.

But kids can get really sick, we've been told.
Well, it's only a few; it is so rare that happens.

But we don't really know the lasting effects, we've been told.
Well, that's true about staying home, too.

But, they're better off at school where they can get their social/emotional needs met, we've been told.
Well, not if they are so worried about getting sick.

But, they'll fall so far behind if they don't go, we've been told.
Well, isn't their physical health more important than learning?

But, kids don't really get this.... 

It's all a disaster of counter-opinions. Well, all the kids will wear masks. Or maybe they won't. Or maybe they'll try, but they're kids, so they'll put their hands all over their masks. They'll pick their noses, they'll sneeze all over each other, they'll cough and wipe boogers and trade sandwiches at lunch. Oh wait, they can't go to lunch... they'll eat at their desks? Okay, so they'll play at recess... but 6 feet apart. And they should spend as much time outside as they can, but only when the heat index is less than 95, which is never in Texas in August or September. So, they'll stay inside, which increases their chances of getting COVID. Well, at least they'll be 6 feet apart. Or maybe they won't. It depends on how many parents actually send their kids to school. Maybe more people will keep their kids home... and that will be great, so those who are left at school will have less people to actually interact with - the whole reason I wanted them to get out of the house in the first place - to be with peers. But, that will be good for the teachers if fewer kids come, since no one - NO ONE - has asked how they feel about going back to work in this pandemic. They're expected to work. And they should want kids to come, right?? I mean, that's how schools get funded. We should want kids to come? Or we shouldn't? I'm confused. Wait, if we all go back to the classrooms, then who is doing the virtual classrooms for kids who stay home? Do I even go to work? Do I stay home with kids that I might want to keep home? Or do I not have that option? What happens if I send them to school and someone in their class is sick - or the teacher gets sick? Do we shut that class down? The school? 

It's too much and it's unfair to ask parents to make this decision. Oh, but that's what makes us the land of the free, right? Go ahead, start your damn political argument. Please. Please make this fucking PANDEMIC a political issue. The health and safety of our communities are definitely up for debate, apparently. Yes, we as parents ultimately have the final say no matter what. Before this pandemic, we were able to make these decisions for our kids - to send them to public school, to private school, to charter schools, to co-ops, to boarding schools, to homeschool. But, this? This is different. THIS is the superintendents and school boards not having a CLUE what they are doing... not because they aren't capable, but because they aren't getting the information THEY need from the commissioner. The education agencies can't pass anything along because they don't have a CLUE what to do, because they aren't getting what they need from the governor. And, the governor doesn't have a CLUE what to do, because he doesn't have what he needs from the fucking president. That's right. If the damn quack at the top would have handled this (or would START to handle this) like a G..D... leader, perhaps we would all be in a better place. No, no... don't get the wrong idea. I'M not trying to make this political. HE did that. HE made public health a political issue. He had the opportunity of a lifetime. The chance to be the miracle worker he thinks he is and turn this country around. He could have made mask wearing mandatory, could have told governors to shut it down tight for a month, could have followed the many countries who were affected long before we were, could have learned lessons from mistakes other leaders made, but no, now we are all in this fucking mess. Now parents all over the country are having to make this same decision for their kids, and they have NO CLUE how to do that.

So, because the top can't grow a pair and tell everyone how to get our shit together, everyone is scrambling, waiting, and passing the buck. Who does this affect? Yes, parents. But, more importantly, our kids, because we are blubbering messes at home trying to decide what the hell we are doing with their next several months if not longer. Do we pay that tuition for preschool, only to fight the 4-year-old on sitting still during Zoom lessons in November when they inevitably shut the school down? Do we give in to the rising first grader who wants to stay home from school because learning with Mommy is better and school is so boring? Or is that not really what this is about? Do we send the fourth grader because, even though he could get sick, our relationship suffers when Mom is the teacher and all I get is eyerolls, grunts, and attitude? Do I keep the boys home while I go to work, bring home whatever I've been around all day, and hope that Sam can manage a law practice, running for judge, and the kids while they're "learning?" Is this what it comes down to? We can either work or we can have kids? We can't have both anymore?

There are no easy answers. Well, there are. But no one wants to hear my 2 cents. 

Oh, you do? Okay, well, if it really comes down to the agony so many of us are feeling as parents in making this decision, (and I realize many aren't... some have already made up their minds to either send or not send their kids), I think we'd all be willing to compromise a little. Why are we not sending kids for half a day? Let's say a teacher gets 22 kids in her class (that's about what a K-3 class has in Texas). 11 of those kids can opt or be assigned to come in the AM class (say 7:45-11:15), and the other 11 can opt or be assigned to the PM class (say 11:45-3:15). Specials could be every other day ... not ideal, but we definitely don't want to shaft music, art, and PE. Special services can still be given during these times, too. 

Okay, not an easy answer, because no, I don't know how that would work for middle and high schools due to electives, but it would certainly make sense for elementary schools to work this way. I'd rather my kids get SOMETHING for a short bit than nothing. It would allow for meals to be given, it would allow for teachers, counselors, and administrators to check in on students' mental, physical, and emotional needs, and it would allow in-person instruction that kids were so desperately missing in March, April, and May. Parents are working? Well, that's a problem, I know. But, this is an option for people who are baffled by what to do. Perhaps some campuses could offer this middle ground. 

FFS, there is a global pandemic going on. It's a crisis, an emergency situation. We need to be flexible and try new things. I just have such a problem with making this impactful decision for the tiny people I love more than anything in the world, especially when I have barely ANY information to go off of. I'm managing information coming from two different school districts right now, and neither of them outline what the day will REALLY look like for the kids - because they don't know, and they can't know. And, they can't make good decisions until we parents make ours. But we can't - because it's all vague and brings questions and can't really be clarified yet. And the irony of it all - it could change in an instant, and everything could close before we even get to Day 1.

Every day we as parents make decisions for our kids: can they stay up past bedtime, can they have that soda this one time, can they play Fortnite, should I call the derm about this rash, should I allow more screen time, do I send him to time-out for that, does he like soccer enough for me to reenroll him -- I mean he just stands there!, when IS the right time to get him his own phone, should we medicate or wait it out, should I walk him back to his bed or let him climb in mine? EVERY FUCKING DAY we have to choose between doing what is RIGHT and doing what is EASY. That's the hardest part of having kids. And, here we are, with yet another decision, only this time it affects the whole community. Do.I.Send.My.Kids.To.School?