Let me first start off by saying I am sorry this post is a couple days late, but that's doing really great these days! We are in the midst of a global pandemic, and life is not normal. I haven't written or posted anything in a long time, and it's not because I don't have anything to say, it's because I'm overwhelmed with busy, crazy kids and when I have a minute to myself, I have no desire to spend it on a computer writing. That is SO not like me, but I've been so mentally exhausted these last 3 months or so, that writing has taken a back seat. I'm hoping writing to you will rekindle the spark to the joy of writing. So, with that, let me say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
This past Tuesday, you completed 9 laps around the sun, and now we are heading into your 10th year of life! You have now been alive on June 9th 10 times! Weird to think about, right? Even weirder is the fact that holding you for the first time, saying your name aloud for the world to know, seeing those big blue eyes for the first time, watching you hold your head up like a boss like you were already wanting to be the big kid you are now way back then... all those images and memories are as if they happened yesterday. So vivid and real in my mind. I remember on our last night in the hospital, Daddy and I held you together, and Daddy said, "Isn't it crazy that this baby was inside you? Like, there was this big being growing there, it came out of you, and you survived!?" It is so strange, the whole giving birth thing and life coming into existence. Each year you get older, that miracle never really gets any easier to comprehend. Each year, I reflect on becoming a mom and still find it beyond comprehension that you happened to me, that I get to be your mom, and that we got to NINE so freakin' fast! The days are so long, especially now... so so so long. But, the years are way too fast, B. They just whiz by, and the sand of time is slipping through my fingers so fast. I just want to keep you my little boy forever, and that's not happening. You prove to me over and over again that you are growing up, and there's no stopping it.
9 Facts About You:
1. At NINE years old, you are in to gaming, gaming, and gaming. You've always been drawn to a screen, as much we we tried to keep you away from it. But, now you want to play the most "in" games you can get your hands on. You are obsessed with Roblox and Fortnite, and you find a lot of joy and contentment gaming with friends. I know this is not unusual for kids your age, but you are annoyingly addicted to it. Especially during the last few months of being stuck at home during the coronavirus pandemic, you have had more time and opportunity to indulge yourself. It causes a lot of tension between you and me, with me constantly questioning whether or not to allow it while understanding that this is how little boys your age play, and this is a very social thing for you, too. You always want to call a friend to play with you while you're gaming. You'll have the game going, while you're talking to a friend on Messenger Kids. You play with Landon, Collin, Cade, Asher, Brycen, Levi, Taryn, Corey, Jillian, Bree, the list goes on!! I love that you are connecting with so many friends, but it's a fight to get you to stop. This is my number one complaint at this time. It's also my generation's constant concern, as we all say things to each other like our own parents did... "back in my day..." or "when I was a kid..." or "kids these days..." So I take all of this with a grain of salt and realize it's not just me, it's not just you... but it is our reality.
2. You are also really into music - especially music you hear on the games you play. You get obsessed with one or two songs at a time, then once everyone in the family starts to actually like it and sing along, you are on to the next one or two new songs and can't stand the ones you made us listen to only weeks ago. (Insert big eye roll here.) I do love your music, but I can't keep up with the ever-changing favorites. We all take turns in the car to choose a song, and I'll pick a song that you introduced us to a couple months ago, and you'll roll your eyes, saying, "I hate that song!" Ugh. But, I so have your number, buddy. I see you. You are Mr. Cool and want to be the "too cool for you guys" who knows everything and is always a step ahead. It reminds me of when you were a toddler trying a new food. If I watched you try it, you'd spit it out and tell me you hated it. But if I looked away like I didn't care, you would continue eating it. You desperately want our attention, but you are going to make us work for your acceptance. It's very confusing yet predictable all at the same time. So, if I want to keep listening to one of your songs, I better not acknowledge that I like it or sing along to it.
3. You know your cars. One thing I've always been bad about is knowing makes and models of cars. Not you. You will see a Lamborghini a mile away and excitedly shout out, "Oh my God. Look at that lambo!" That's the best example I can give, because I know nothing about cars, and you will be able to tell what series the car is and I have NO idea what that even means! You are impressed by Teslas, all kinds of race cars, and other cars... and I sound like a complete moron trying to even tell you about it, because I have no idea what to even call the categories.... so I'll stop there. You get the point. Again, reminds me of when you were a toddler and could tell me every part of an excavator, and I don't even think I knew what an excavator or backhoe loaders or graters were until you were in my life. Before you, they were all bulldozers to me! Ha!
4. You're smart. Like really smart, and very creative. But, school is becoming a bit more challenging for you these days because you don't want to work hard and naturally, school gets harder as you get older. Learning has always been easy for you, which I'm forever grateful for. But working has never been your forte. When things have come so easy for you, you're not used to the challenge... which is the reason I love that you're getting the challenges that PACE provides you.You have come home from school crying over a PACE assignment, and usually it's because you are feeling challenged, and that's a hard feeling for you to tackle when you're not used to it. You don't have to study long to memorize facts, but if I ask you to write what you know, forget it, you'll fight me every step of the way. I do think part of this is the gifted part of you - wondering why the hell you have to write it out or show your work when "I just know, Mom... I don't know how I know, I just know the answer, why do I have to explain it?!" Your brain works faster than your hand, and you get frustrated. There's also the ADHD piece that plays into this. It's hard to stay focused, you are easily distracted by a million other things (from the sound of the air conditioning turning on to the pattern on your pencil to the open spaces in the word "Name" at the top of your paper). You might know your math facts way faster than you let on during a timed quiz because you were too distracted to focus on the task at hand. You might forget to turn in your homework for a variety of reasons, even though you did it perfectly. You've gotten Bs on tests or quizzes simply because you didn't answer two questions, yet got every other question correct, and when I question you about it, you say, "I swear I answered those!" even when there is literally NO marking near the question. You got straight As on your report card, so it doesn't rise to the level of needing intervention, but as a mom who sees your great potential and also your great struggles, it's hard to know how to best handle this to help you feel confident and less frustrated. This is an ongoing work in progress!
5. I am constantly told how well-mannered you are when visiting friends or when hearing from teachers. Your friend's parents say you are a dream to have over at their homes. You are polite and considerate. You ask them how they are or how their day is going, and you genuinely seem to care. I believe them, I really do. But you are short-tempered with me and with your brothers, and we don't often get the privilege of seeing those manners at home. I'd rather it be this way than the other way around, but it can feel frustrating for me that I miss out on that. You are the sweetest thing right before bedtime, usually when you're milking it to get me to stay in your room and talk to you longer, postponing bedtime by warming my heart with all the sweetness and great discussion. But, when that sweet little boy wakes in the morning, he's seems to wake up on the wrong side of the bed a lot and can seem to hate the world - and me along with it.
6. You want to keep every.thing! You are a little bit of a hoarder. When Dad and I got back from an anniversary cruise we took in September, I wrote out your weekly schedule (who would be staying with you each of the nights, when library books were due, what was for lunch at school, etc), and you refused to throw it away when we got home. It's still hanging in your room right now... 9 months later. I admit I have had to throw things away behind your back because you would want to keep every little piece of homework, trinket from camp, old clothes, etc. I love how attached you feel to things, but they are merely things, and we are working on explaining that to you.
7. You LOVE: rolls, challah, butter, skipping rocks, Sprite, candy, chocolate, really hot showers, "smoradillas" (tortilla with Nutella, marshmallow creme, and crunched up graham cracker), chicken pot pie, inviting anyone to do anything with us anywhere at anytime, back scratches, GFC, Slurpees, jelly sandwiches, swimming, being part of a team, reading with me, usurping my computer to try to do your own shopping on Amazon (not happening, buddy!), bagels with cream cheese, and... did I mention gaming??
8. You're a little bit of a thrill seeker. You like roller coasters. You will cuss under your breath to see if you can get away with it. You are curious about what might happen if you did something risky - jump from a certain height, touch a sharp object, for example. Your favorite part of Cub Scouts this year was being able to learn how to use your own pocket knife. You learned how to whittle wood and this was captivating to you. Dad built a fire pit in our backyard, and you enjoy lighting sticks on fire and watching them burn. You want to learn to do all kinds of tricks on your scooter and your bike. You were stoked to start sparing at karate, but when you were actually all geared up and in the "ring," you weren't so keen on the idea of someone hitting you or hitting others. Which leads me to the next point... you are more talk than action.
9. You are such a sensitive boy who can also be anxious and fearful. You may project a tough, cool, "nothing bothers me" persona, but there are many things that frighten you or make you worried. You have been anxious about the coronavirus, making sure people keep their distance or don't touch your things. You and Knox have had a rough year as brothers (whereas you and Quinn turned a major corner when Quinn started going to school with you this year). When Knox started telling his preschool teacher that he only has one brother (Quinn) because he doesn't like you, you found out. You were really hurt by this and wanted to know what you could do to change it. You two butt heads a lot lately, but I think you're realizing he just wants your attention, and if you give it to him kindly and with patience, he will adore you... it's just that both of you don't have a lot of patience at all! You've made a lot of improvements in the sleep area (in part thanks to Ms. Kim), but you'd still much rather sleep in our room or have Dad or me sleep in your bed with you (which we have allowed with Hanukkah coupons this last semester). There are still certain songs that make you sad or teary, and you will cry when movies or books are sad (Bridge to Terabithia, for example).You continue to have a strong gag reflex, and you will easily vomit if you feel nervous about something. One night we had been talking about Tuck Everlasting and the fact that we don't live forever, and the conversation made you uneasy and anxious. You said, "I don't feel so good," and ran to the toilet. You feel your feelings all over your body, and while I hate this for you, I also love this about you. I love that you feel and feel hard. I love that you are in touch with your emotions and your softer side. When no one is looking, you will shower me with affection, and when no one is listening and you have my ear all to yourself, you will tell me your innermost feelings. And, at the end of every day, you say the same thing to Dad and I every single night, "Sit on the couch couch, and check on me in six minutes. I love you more... I love you more... I love you more...."
EDITED to add after your well-check on 6/23/20:
Weight: 63.2 pounds = 50th percentile
Height: 51 inches = 25th percentile
BMI: 17 = 70th percentile
Your birthday was spent at home - social distancing during this crazy COVID-19 outbreak. As has become tradition, we read your "I Believe" on your last night of being 8. We sat on the "couch couch" and reminisced about your year with your brothers, Dad, and me. You teared up a little at the end, knowing getting older is bittersweet. You had a great year as an 8-year-old, and it's hard to leave that behind, but you also know there is still so much more ahead. The next morning, you were the first one up, so when everyone else woke up, we serenaded you with "Happy Birthday" and showered you with a few balloons on the downstairs couch. You requested Einstein's for breakfast, and later in the day, Aunt Kira, Levi, Damon, and Grandma came by to give you a few fun things! Aunt Kira and Levi showed you a birthday poster which had some money attached, and Grandma brought you a wrapped gift, a new scooter, from her and Papa. They stayed while we cracked open a pinata I had made (a coronavirus one) which really wasn't for your birthday, but it was definitely more fun to do that day! Then, we ate some lunch before singing "Happy Birthday" and having you blow out your birthday candles. When you pulled out the decoration, a few dollars popped out of the cake! You were excited to see that cash, but when the dollars bunched, the "money cake holder" came out of the cake and our surprise was botched a little. Oh well. Later Beebee came by to give you a card and present (an Amazon gift card) and then even later, Big Boss came by with a gift (an airplane assembly kit). After dinner (Friday's take out), I showed you the VidHug video your friends, family, and teachers helped me create by sending in special birthday video messages the weeks before your big day. You adored this video! You laughed, smiled, and even teared up through it all. Such sweet messages from great people in your life... such a gift for me, too! Finally, your "party" started at 8:15. 7 friends joined us in the backyard for a special late night movie (National Treasure), popcorn, and cupcakes. Your day was filled with some of your favorite things: Coke, Reese's, staying up late, Red Velvet, friends, money, gifts, gaming, attention, and spending the night in my bed.
Banner Boone, I know I'm hard on you, I have high expectations of you, and we get on each others' nerves a lot. I'd like to say I'm sorry, but I know this will not change, and as you've gotten older and we are learning each other more and more --- you doing your best to do your job of testing me and experience, experiment, and explore and me doing my job of trying to figure out how to parent and how to set boundaries while allowing you the freedom to be you --- I know we are doing a really great dance together. As I've told you in nearly every letter I've written to you before, I've never been a parent before to a kid your age, and every stage in your life is a new stage in mine as well. People may give advice to Dad and me or judge what decisions we make (like..... to medicate or not, to allow more or less screen time, to allow you to stay up late or go to the park by yourself or setting rules for how you save, spend, or make money, . . . the list is never-ending), but the truth is we are the only ones who have ever been your parent, and we are on this road navigating WITH you and FOR you.
I once told you to think of these upcoming pre-teen and teenage years as a bridge from childhood to adulthood, and our job is to get you from one side of the stream to the other without falling off that bridge. There are times when we will say no to something or guide you where you don't like, but it's only because we see what's on the other side of the bridge and want you to get there in one piece. Once you are there safely, you can do as you please, but until then, you know what our number one job is, because we remind you all the time: to keep you safe. Our second job is to keep you healthy. After that, our job includes making sure you are kind and polite, feel confident, loved, and accepted, and are able to learn, voice your feelings, and ask for help when you need it. If you get to the other side with those key components, we have done our job well - even if there are times you don't like the decisions we make along the bridge.
My sweet boy, you are a joy and a challenge daily. I've loved watching you grow this year. I have a feeling this year will be a big one for you as you mature and grow up in many ways. While you may not like that I'm asking you to do more and more for yourself, you are finding a lot of confidence in the fact that you really can do so many things. You have become a helper to your brothers, and even though the sibling rivalry can be strong, you really want them to love you and you to love them back. And oh how we all do - love you so very much! I wish you the very best as you turn NINE! This golden birthday of yours (nine on the ninth) is going to be a lucky one for you I hope! And I can't wait to see all the bright things in your future!!
I love you forever, my Angel Baby!
Happy Birthday!
Love,
Mommy
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| Last picture as an 8-year-old |
Some of my favorite photos of you or us from the year:
