Journey to the Knot: February 2025

Dear Knox,

A week ago, you turned 9 years old. Your last year in the single digits. I cannot come to grips with the fact that 9 years has flown by in the blink of an eye. Being your mom is a joy and a challenge all rolled up into one - a wild ride for sure.

So, what are you up to these days?

You are doing very well in school. You are at or above grade level in all areas and seem to catch on to new material quickly. Your favorite subject is PACE, which is ironic since you didn't want to even be tested for it in first grade.
You still love to draw. You are pretty darn creative and come up with the silliest, most unique, and interesting characters, settings, and innovations. Earlier in the year, you created a whole cast of characters that all wore top hats. It was really cute and creative.
Your favorite things include: playing with friends online (Fortnite, Roblox, Meta Quest games), anything Shrek or axolotl, cuddling with Tova, wearing the same bunny pajamas every night, your pink bubble slides, your Shrek socks, sleeping in Quinn's room, pretzel bagels, playing Chess, mini chocolate chip muffins, coffee ice cream, Slurpees, and wearing sweatshirts no matter how hot it is outside.
Sometimes you laugh so hard or so long that you start crying in a panic - because you can't catch your breath and think you're "going to die." You can go from laughing hysterically to crying with anger because you can't breathe. We've learned to take you seriously when you say to stop making you laugh, or there are times when I have to tell you brothers to stop whatever they're saying so you will be able to catch a breath before you panic.
You still have braces and an expander and are eager to get them off!
You have your own style and charm and aren't afraid to be your true self. For Valentine's Day this year, you just HAD to wear a pink suit. It was adorable. For Hanukkah, you wanted an "ugly" knit Hanukkah sweater.

You still really struggle with regulating your emotions. Frustration, anger, irritation - these feelings cause you to yell, cuss (!!), throw things, or even hit yourself in the head. It's really upsetting to see you act like this or not know how to manage these big feelings. I definitely think you're a "DFK" - a deeply-feeling kid, as the famous Dr. Becky likes to talk about. You often blame others for your poor decisions or misfortunes. For example, a couple nights ago, you came over to me to give me a hug but accidentally wedged your barefoot under mine as you approached me closely. You then fell to the floor wailing, "You stubbed my toe!!" I did nothing but stand there, but apparently it was my fault. If your Switch dies, you will blame me for not telling you to charge it. You swung your hand into the wall a few days ago when you were playing on the VR, and you blamed everyone else nearby (even not in the same room) for not telling you you were close to the wall. If you don't have clean pants, you blame me for not doing laundry or buying you enough (even if I've asked you to bring your laundry down days before). This is a big struggle, even after months of focusing on it in OT last year. You definitely know better, but in the heat of the moment, all that learning from before just goes out the window.
You pick you lips, very often until they bleed. This is a habit that you come by naturally (I do it too), but we try to help stop each other. I'm better at stopping than you! :) You have told me that you need a fidget in school to help stop it. That helped for a short while, but then you didn't want the fidget anymore so we are back to square one.
You played soccer for the first semester with your Tigers team and LOVED being a part of the team. But, you really disliked the actual playing! You hated going to practice, although you did better at practice than at the actual games. You would rarely go after the ball. When you did, you were awesome, but you didn't seem to have much interest in really getting into the action. So, we're sitting this season out. I'm hopeful you'll go back to it, but we will see!
Your friend group includes: Luke M., Arjun, Luke P., Clark, Reid, Nathan, Elliott, Isaac S., Isaac V., Tevin, Desmon, Nolan, Landon M., Benjamin, and Dylan (when at Sunday School). You adore your cousins, too, and love spending time with any of these people any time! You like kids who follow the rules, and if there's a kid that doesn't respect them, you are quick to tell us about that.
We went to Dr. B a few days ago, and here are your stats

Weight - 55.4 pounds = 15th percentile
Height - 50 3/8 inches = 19th percentile
BMI- 15.39 = 37th percentile
We just upped your Adderall to 15 mg since you were starting to lose focus in class. Your teachers have noticed a marked improvement, and we hope this continues. You ask for your medication usually, and you don't mind taking it at all.

For your birthday this year, you originally wanted to go to Altitude again. It would have been your third birthday party there, so we encouraged you to try something new. Aunt Kira had introduced us to Ground Control, and when we went there there the first time, you loved it, so that was an easy sell to get you to reconsider. You wanted your theme to be Gorilla Tag since that's your latest obsession on your most prized gift from Hanukkah, Meta Quest. When we were looking for cakes that would fit this theme, you had a specific idea in mind but couldn't find an example for the bakery. Finally, I suggested you draw what you wanted and maybe we could turn that into a sheet cake. You loved this idea and immediately got to drawing. When you made mistakes on the drawing and I told you that the erasures would show up on the cake, you said, "Good, then everyone will know that I really drew this. I want them to see those marks." It turned out exactly how you wanted it. Your best buddies were there, and they loved your creation. Oh, I forgot to say - we started the day with our traditional balloons in bed and birthday kolaches. At the end of the day, you picked Nerdvana for dinner and laughed with your brothers the entire time you played video games while trying to eat dinner.

Knox Morgan, you are a hoot. You have a very big personality, know exactly what you want and will fight to get it, are kind and polite and a really great friend (just not so much to your brothers), and are quite smart! Your handwriting has improved GREATLY this year, you are a rule-follower at school, and you have continued to make great gains in your learning. You are witty, curious, hyper, and loud - very loud. You try your best to be sneaky, but you just don't know how to hide a good prank or lie. Sometimes you're shocked I can see right through your shenanigans or plot to pull one over on us, but your inability to hide a smirk or divert your eyes in a very telling way gives you away immediately. You are combative and uncooperative a lot of the time, especially when trying to one-up your brothers - always on the defense and ready to retaliate. Many times you assume the worst from your brothers, and that often makes things worse for you and for them. But, when you are alone or have all the attention, you are as sweet as can be.

One of my favorite things you do is randomly ask for hugs. Sometimes you can tell I need a hug or you will just offer one when things are a little stressful, hurried, or busy. "Can I give you a hug?" you'll say, and you'll give the best snuggle into my chest with arms wrapped tightly around my body. I hope I remember you at 8 and 9-years-old forever, tucked into my body, ear to my heart, silky straight hair against my chest smelling so clean and fresh. I just love these cuddles and embraces.

I love you so much, Knoxipoo. I hope you had the best birthday yet!

Happy Birthday, BabyLove!

Love,

Mom