No More Bottles!

I'm having a bit of a bittersweet evening. My baby boy has officially dropped all bottles, and I'm both thrilled and saddened by this event. I had tried to drop all bottles at 12 months, but that just wasn't feasible for our family after two days of trying to drop cold turkey. So, we decided to fit in at least 16 ounces into three bottles each day (rather than the four he had usually taken of formula before turning one-year). Banner got a bottle upon waking from the night and from his second nap, and he got his last bottle right before bed. The first bottle to go was the nap bottle. That was easy. The second bottle to go was the morning bottle. It was rough for a day or so, but then Banner got the hint that a sippy cup is all I'd offer him. And, then, the weaning I'd been dreading... the bedtime bottle. This bottle was so much a part of our routine. How was I going to cope without it? Not only was I worried about Banner freaking out about not having it, but I was so sad that that special quiet time before bed was going to end.

But, life goes on, and last night was Banner's last bottle. We had slowly dropped ounces out of that bedtime bottle until we got to about 3.5 ounces. As I sat with him last night, trying to burn the image before me into my mommy brain, I held Banner and rocked him as he held his bottle in his mouth. I purposefully made the moment a bit melodramatic to keep from crying (which I actually did do at 12 months when I thought we were really dropping bottles!), telling Banner all about how bottles have helped him grow and be nourished, how he should be grateful to the bottles he's had, and how this would be his last one. When he took that last suck and drained the last drops, I told him to say bye-bye to his bottle. He waved at it, and then we went to brush his teeth. It was a moment I know I'll remember for a long time, but it's one I hope he actually forgot by today. I don't want him missing it, even if I will.

Sure, I won't miss washing those darn things, but I will miss those quiet moments that we have shared together all these months. I know I'm making a big deal about a little thing, but I know people whose newborns are struggling to leave the NICU because the suck/swallow/breathe reflex is not working so well. If only they could learn to drink from a bottle and take all feedings without a feeding tube, they could go home. So, yes, I know not to take the ability my baby has had all these months to feed so easily from a bottle. Granted, I never wanted him to have a bottle in those early months; I wanted him to strictly breastfeed, but when that didn't work for us and my hopes of a being a successful nurser were shattered, the next best thing was the bottle. So, this evening is a little bittersweet to not have a bottle to prepare, to hold, to wash.

We will see how the next few nights go with this change. So far, this night has been unremarkable - nothing new to report. Banner knew there was something different - a bit off - but going to bed was easy and seamless, like we never skipped a beat. I'm hopeful that the days of the bottle will be one big blur to him and that there isn't some awful attachment to it. But, Mommy is having a few moments tonight (although without tears, thank goodness!) to mourn her own attachment to having a baby young enough to need a bottle!